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4 Types of Bammers????


GreenEyedGirl

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There was a post on here at one time that had the different types listed. It was really funny. I've tried doing a search but I'm not having any success. Can someone help me out? I *thought* I had it saved somewhere on my computer but I can't seem to find it there either. Thanks!

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There is only one type of bammer as far as I am concerned. They are Updykes, it is just a matter of degree.

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I will admit that I know some bama graduates that are fine people. And I also know some fans who are not grads that are also fine people. None of these people live and breathe worshipping whoever happens to be their coach at the moment.

But the vast majority of the bama fans base are gutter trash Updikes. They are losers from day one, with a loser wife, loser kids, loser dog and loser trailer. The only way they can ever insert any winning in their life is to get someone else's football team to do it for them They are obnoxious, belligerent, jerkwads that no decent person can tolerate being around. You can read their representatives on al.com and hear their representatives on Fainbaus every day. The only time they ever make the world a better place is when they become fertilizer.

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Classic, but you can tell Travis has trouble not lumping the entire state into hick mode by slipping mid article into dragging us all through the ringer just before getting back on course, separating out Auburn fans.

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I still have not found that post. I KNOW I didn't make it up. It was so dang funny. I'm thinking it was in someone's signature.

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I still have not found that post. I KNOW I didn't make it up. It was so dang funny. I'm thinking it was in someone's signature.

GEG I think it was mine...Is this it?

The Four Classes of UAT Fans

Gumps- Those UAT fans who just don't know any better and simply do as they are told by their Daddy/Uncle, Mother/Aunt. They, much like the main character in the movie they take their moniker from, are too dumb to realize that they have a choice. These people must be excused as it is not their fault. Gumps are obnoxious but mostly harmless.

Bammers- These UAT fans are a little smarter than the Gumps but not by much. They couldn't find Tuscaloosa on a map, and most likely haven't seen any part of the campus but Jordan-Hare West. Bammers represent most of the 85% and are extremely insufferable, especially when UAT is winning. These fans melt into the woodwork when the Tahd is on a losing streak, but love to call in and talk to Pawwwl when UAT is dominating.

Turds- UAT fans who actually graduated from the school, aka the 15%. Some of them belong to the REC, some don't, but they are all unbearably arrogant. These fans think their feces have no odor; this is mainly because they already smell as badly as they possibly can, and so their olfactory senses cannot detect the aroma of eau de toilet. They look down on Auburn as"that cow college"; and "little brother." This section of the fan base helps to fund the pool of company Chargers that are driven by the majority of their professional football team.

Updykes- This section of the UAT fan base is bat-sh*t crazy. These people live in rusted out 1936 model Airstreams in the middle of the boondocks. They have a satellite dish attached to the roof so they are sure not to miss a second of UAT football. When the delusion of UAT superiority over Auburn or any other school is broken this type of fan will become unhinged. The poisoning of trees and the tea-bagging of opposing fans is usually the result of an Updyke being brought back to reality.

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YES!!!!!!! That's it. I have LMAO at this. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I was beginning to think I had lost my dang mind........assuming facts not in evidence as my husband would say.

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YES!!!!!!! That's it. I have LMAO at this. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I was beginning to think I had lost my dang mind........assuming facts not in evidence as my husband would say.

LOL...you are welcome. Glad someone liked it. I wrote it at work one day after dealing with a woman decked out in Bama gear. She was angry because we only let her use the computers for the 2 hour limit and wouldn't extend it. I personally thought 2 hours of Facebook was more than enough. When she walked out the the door angry she yelled "Roll TAHD!". Even the two girls who work for me were embarrassed and they are Bama fans.

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Kassc...you WELL captured my personal experience, too! That is really funny. Thank you, and War Eagle!!!

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Kassc...you WELL captured my personal experience, too! That is really funny. Thank you, and War Eagle!!!

You're welcome. War Eagle!

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VCC09tf.jpg

From the Alabama/West Virginia game

The banjo was necessary for the "Deliverance" theme.....

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Let's be clear about this, Harvey Updyke was not an outlier.

When news broke that authorities had arrested a man for poisoning the trees at Auburn, millions of Alabama fans secretly thought to themselves, "God, I hope it's not Uncle Ray."

:laugh:
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Let's be clear about this, Harvey Updyke was not an outlier.

When news broke that authorities had arrested a man for poisoning the trees at Auburn, millions of Alabama fans secretly thought to themselves, "God, I hope it's not Uncle Ray."

:laugh:/>

You said it brother. There's the 15% and the 85%. That's it.
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