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Bama jokes

Guest jojo1515

By Guest jojo1515
in AU Football Forum

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AuGrad2004 Rising Star

AuGrad2004 100

Posted
Posted

Bartender overhears two bama fans bragging to some women in a bar. Curiosity got the best of him so he walked over and asked, "hey guys what's the big deal". The guys both looked at him and said "we just completed a puzzle and it only took us one year." The bartender says " one year and you're bragging about that?!" They said "sure are, the box says up to 4 years!"

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WDavE Mentor

WDavE 332

Posted
Posted

How do you tell the difference between an University of Alabama coed and a Alabama farmed catfish?

One smells and has whiskers and the other is a fish.

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aufan57 Founding Father

aufan57 922

Posted
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Two Alabama Fans are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"

"Jus' some chickens.

"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"

"I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmmm......, five?"

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WDavE Mentor

WDavE 332

Posted
Posted

Did you here about the three UAT students that drowned recently while riding in the back of a pickup that plunged into lake Tuscaloosa?. The local coroner reported the cause of death was because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

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WarDamn2010 Mentor

WarDamn2010 183

Posted
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Several years ago, three friends - a florida, georgia, and alabama fan - were short on cash and decided their only option was to rob a bank. So, that afternoon around closing time, they went into their local bank and demanded money. They were given the money and they proceeded to leave the bank. The getaway car was parked just on the other side of small farm. Once there, they were home free. However, as they approached the farm, they heard sirens and dove into a barn filled with many stalls. The cops arrived shortly thereafter and begin to search each stall.

The Georgia fan had jumped in the stall with several cows, so he hid behind them and proceeded to moo. The cops never knew he was there. The Florida fan had taken shelter with a multitude of pigs, and as such hid behind them and oinked until the cops had moved on. But poor Bubba, the Alabama fan, had taken shelter among a large pile of potatoes. When the cops peered in, Bubba looked up slowly. With a flashlight in his face, Bubba began to yell, "Putaytuhs, putaytuhs! Putaytuhs, Puhtaytuhs!"

Poor Bubba didn't make it home that day.

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WDavE Mentor

WDavE 332

Posted
Posted

A Bama fan goes into his doctors office all cut up and bruised and his doctor asks, "My goodness, what happened to you?" The Bama fan says "Well I was in a horse race with my nephew and I fell off my horse and my horse started jumping up and down on me."

The doctor says, "That must have been terrible!" The Bama fan replied "I know. I could have been killed if the Wal-Mart employee hadn't have unplugged the machine."

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Farmer Brown Founding Father

Farmer Brown 2,391

Posted
Posted

A bammer grad comes home from work and finds his house burglarized and all valuables missing. He dials 911 and reports the break-in and the operator says there is a policeman in the area, he will be there in 5 minutes. The bammer grad decides to go out and sit on the porch to wait for the officer. In a few minutes the policeman pulls up and it is a canine officer. He gets out and unloads his dog with him. The bammer grad looks at the cop and says, the worst day of my life and they send a blind policeman.

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CJBas Mentor

CJBas 4

Posted
Posted

You might be a bammer ....if you say something that isn't positive about Auburn, on a AUFAMILY forum.

(Don't throw tomatoes)

Careful. You've probably already been branded a defeatest and a closet bammer. Someone will tell you to switch sides any minute now.
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cptau Founding Father

cptau 169

Posted
Posted

An Alabama graduate and a Tennessee graduate are traveling together in a foreign country when they are taken prisoner by terrorists.

After several months of unsuccessful negotiations for their release, the terrorists tell them they must die but they will each be allowed one last request.

The Tennessee graduate asks to hear "Rocky Top" played one last time just before he dies. The Alabama graduate asks to die first.

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rbrigby Collaborator

rbrigby 0

Posted
Posted

Knock knock.

Who's there?

http://www.al.com/li...a_football.html

LOL!

You may get ban hammered for posting pornography after that post/link (yes that amount of bammer crap on bare skin is pornography, bad bad bad pornography)....like a train wreck I couldn't stop staring....but I laughed at those morons, hard

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WarNole Mentor

WarNole 141

Posted
Posted

Sad to hear about the two bama football players who were killed in a hunting accident.

They had been out hunting all day without seeing any animal, tracks, or hearing any sounds.

Agreeing to call it a day, they pushed through some bushes into a clearing and finally saw some tracks.

While bending over the tracks trying to figure out what made them, they were run over by a freight train.

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AURocketman Community Regular

AURocketman 73

Posted
Posted

You might be a bammer ....if you say something that isn't positive about Auburn, on a AUFAMILY forum.

(Don't throw tomatoes)

Or you may be long time AU Scholarship donor that knows Jordan is pronounced Jerdan.

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Newbomb Founding Father

Newbomb 193

Posted
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Billy Bob the Bam fan goes to the local doctor and says, Doctor.my mobile home is getting really crowded. I have Crimson Bob, Jimmie Bob, Bear Bob, Gene Bob, Trent Bob, Kenny Bob, Joe Bob and Little Nick Bob. I just don't think my sweet June Bob can make it through the birthing of another little Bama fan. First the doctor described the procedure that June Bob could have but Billy Bob would not allow his beloved and very fertile June and to go under the knife. Next the Doc described a vasectomy Billy Bob would go for it but when he heard about the price it would eat into his Red man and Budweiser money too much. One day Billy Bob was talking to his uncle Shorty about his problem. Uncle Shorty told him to go see a man by the name of Mr. Cameron who was a very smart wise man in their community and perhaps Mr. Cameron help him with his problem in a way that would not hurt his beer and tobacco money. Uncle Shorty warned Billy Bob to not tell Mr Cameron he was Bama fan. The next day Billy Bob arrived at Mr. Cameron's workshop and maybe because the latest news of a soon to arrive Lacy Bob and despite Uncle Shorty's warning he poured out the whole story on Mr. Cameron. Mr. Cameron asked him if he could read and Billy Bob was very offended and said he had finished the eighth grade. With that Mr, Cameron excused himself for a few minutes and then returned with a brown paper bag. I can solve your problem for $28.27. Billy Bob eagerly agreed. Mr. Cameron gave him the paper bag with instructions to not open it until he went way back in the woods and found a stump to sit on. The next day finds Billy Bob on a stump. He opens the bag that has a set of instructions, a lighter, a newspaper and a stick of dynamite. Billy Bob begins to follow the numbered steps. Step one roll dynamite in newspaper. Step two light dynamite. Step three count to ten. Billy Bob counts on one hand holding up first one finger then two fingers on up to five. and then quickly puts newspaper between his legs so that he can continue counting to ten .....

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