Guest jojo1515 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Being bama week, I thought everyone could share their favorite bama jokes. Let's keep it clean An Alabama fan walks into the doctor's office one day with a hat on. He takes off his hat, and the doctor sees that there is a big frog sitting right on top of his head. The doctor looks at the man and asks him why he has a frog sitting on his head. It was the frog who replied "Actually doc, I was the one who wanted to see you. Can you remove this wart off my butt?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndunc 33 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Laughed so hard my eyes watered!! Good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piketiger1990 173 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 What do a maggot and an Alabama fan have in common? They can both live off of a dead bear for 20 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarTim 3,456 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 What is the difference between the munchkin and a jackass? ...don't feel bad. Nobody else can figure it out either... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piketiger1990 173 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Bubba had a memorable career playing football at Alabama, but after 15 years of study, he had yet to graduate. Sensing a problem, Alabama’s president called Bubba into his office. He said, “Bubba, everyone loves you. You are the most popular man on campus but if you don’t graduate soon, we’re going to lose our accreditation. Not to worry though, we’ve got a plan. Next Saturday, during halftime of the football game at Bryant Denny , we’re going to give you a little test. Just one question; that’s all. Get it right and you graduate. Get it wrong and you must drop out of school.” Bubba agreed and studied all week. Halftime came and as he walked out onto the field thousands of Bama fans began chanting in unison, “Bubba, Bubba, Bubba...” Suddenly, everyone got quiet as the president read Bubba’s question over the PA system. “What is 2 plus 2?” Bubba thought and thought and thought. Then with an anxious voice, he sheepishly said, “Four.” Deathly quiet for an awkward 3 or 4 seconds, then the crowd with one unified loud voice began to chant, “One more chance, one more chance!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigerbelle 5,299 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 What do a maggot and an Alabama fan have in common? They can both live off of a dead bear for 20 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad_ATX 13,654 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Tuscaloosa - the only place where Ancestry.com and eHarmony are the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad_ATX 13,654 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 How do you get a Bama grad off your porch? Pay him for the pizza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarNole 141 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 How is a bama fan like a wet bicycle seat? They both chap your behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auctoritas 2,828 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 I picked up a load of bowling balls that are going to a newly built bowling alley. I'm driving down the highway and I passed two bama fans standing on the side of the road needing a ride. They were decked out, shirts, hats, and maybe a mouthful of teeth between the two of them. I told them that they can't ride in the cab with me but they can ride in back with the bowling balls. So off I go, back on the highway, a load of bowling balls and two bama fans in back. I get pulled over by a state trooper and he decides that he needs to inspect my trailer. He opens the trailer doors and sees the two bama fans with the bowling balls, and he then slammed the doors closed, and locks them. So the cop comes running back up to me and says to me "Get this truck back on the road and DO NOT stop until you've reached the state line, GET OUT OF HERE!" I was kind of stunned so I asked what the problem was. He said to me "Son, do you realize that two of those bama fan eggs have already hatched?!?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJBas 4 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Bubba had a memorable career playing football at Alabama, but after 15 years of study, he had yet to graduate. Sensing a problem, Alabama's president called Bubba into his office. He said, "Bubba, everyone loves you. You are the most popular man on campus but if you don't graduate soon, we're going to lose our accreditation. Not to worry though, we've got a plan. Next Saturday, during halftime of the football game at Bryant Denny , we're going to give you a little test. Just one question; that's all. Get it right and you graduate. Get it wrong and you must drop out of school." Bubba agreed and studied all week. Halftime came and as he walked out onto the field thousands of Bama fans began chanting in unison, "Bubba, Bubba, Bubba..." Suddenly, everyone got quiet as the president read Bubba's question over the PA system. "What is 2 plus 2?" Bubba thought and thought and thought. Then with an anxious voice, he sheepishly said, "Four." Deathly quiet for an awkward 3 or 4 seconds, then the crowd with one unified loud voice began to chant, "One more chance, one more chance!" That's funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jojo1515 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 I picked up a load of bowling balls that are going to a newly built bowling alley. I'm driving down the highway and I passed two bama fans standing on the side of the road needing a ride. They were decked out, shirts, hats, and maybe a mouthful of teeth between the two of them. I told them that they can't ride in the cab with me but they can ride in back with the bowling balls. So off I go, back on the highway, a load of bowling balls and two bama fans in back. I get pulled over by a state trooper and he decides that he needs to inspect my trailer. He opens the trailer doors and sees the two bama fans with the bowling balls, and he then slammed the doors closed, and locks them. So the cop comes running back up to me and says to me "Get this truck back on the road and DO NOT stop until you've reached the state line, GET OUT OF HERE!" I was kind of stunned so I asked what the problem was. He said to me "Son, do you realize that two of those bama fan eggs have already hatched?!?" Good stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topangatiger 0 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 What's the average Alabama student get on his SAT? A: Tobacco juice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarTim 3,456 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 How can you tell if a uat redneck is married? Redman juice stains on the passenger side door too!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigereyes 19 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 UAT wanted to do a live nativity sceen but had to cancel because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cptau 169 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 What do Auburn graduates and uat fans have in common. Neither have taken any classes at that college in Tuscaloosa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AU-HANDLEY-TIGER 205 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 How do you get an Alabama cheerleader in your dorm room? Butter her hips and push real hard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
around4ever 4,139 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 It's reported that Nick Saban will only dress 20 players for the Auburn game. The rest will have to dress themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
around4ever 4,139 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 How do you break a bammer's finger? Punch him in the nose! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
around4ever 4,139 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Do you know why uat can't have Driver's Ed and Sex Ed on the same day? They only have one mule Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
around4ever 4,139 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Two bammers have been walking in the woods for eight hours when they stop and one turns to the other and says, "I'm cutting the next Christmas tree we find, lights or no lights." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
around4ever 4,139 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 What is the difference between a litter of puppies and bammers? The puppies stop whining after 6 weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stealthyfan 124 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Two Auburn engineering student are driving to the beach for Spring Break in their pick-up. They notice three Bama football players hitch hiking and stop to give them a ride, but they had to sit in the back. All agree and down the road they go. Ahour later a deer runs into the road and the Auburn engineers swerve to miss him and fly off uncontrolled and land in a deep pond. As the truck sinks, the engineers know they can open their doors and swim to safety when the cab fills and the pressure equalizes, and do so. Unfortunately the Bama football players all died because they couldn't open the tailgate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charleyrogers24 0 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of an Alabama Fan? A: You call it a Tattoo!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuGrad2004 100 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 How do you castrate a bama fan? Punch his sister in the jaw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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