Theist, Atheist, Agnostic. Teaching children.

[Mims44 1,864]

What with all the recent religious talks in threads the past few days I figured I would throw this out there.

For those of you who have kids, did you or are you raising them to have the same religious beliefs as yourself? I ask because I recently got into an argument with my ex-wife about on this subject, when you file custody papers apparently there is a question with multiple choice answers on who if anyone will educate the children on religion. I checked that I would and stood firm on that position.

My ex is a very headstrong atheist and wants our kids to be the exact same, I want them to educate themselves on the matter on make their own choices on what they believe. She is of course fine with the literature of scientific theories covering gene mutation, evolution, etc. But is very against me having the Bible, Koran, or excerpts from the Pentateuch around. As I'm sure a few have guessed from previous posts I fall more on the agnostic side, I don't have the facts to prove one way or the other and lack the faith to believe one way or the other. That being said, I don't judge others merely based on where they stand on the subject I believe it is an individual choice that should be respected by others. As such, I would want my children to be educated from all points of view when making a decision about their beliefs.

I've pretty much got it in the bag, since I have agreed to not ask for any child support ever if she agrees to all my other terms. But would like insight into what everyone else does, has done, or plans to do as far as raising their children covering the subject or religious beliefs... and also if anyone else has ran into a problem similar to mine.

[aubfaninga 16]

What with all the recent religious talks in threads the past few days I figured I would throw this out there.

For those of you who have kids, did you or are you raising them to have the same religious beliefs as yourself? I ask because I recently got into an argument with my ex-wife about on this subject, when you file custody papers apparently there is a question with multiple choice answers on who if anyone will educate the children on religion. I checked that I would and stood firm on that position.

My ex is a very headstrong atheist and wants our kids to be the exact same, I want them to educate themselves on the matter on make their own choices on what they believe. She is of course fine with the literature of scientific theories covering gene mutation, evolution, etc. But is very against me having the Bible, Koran, or excerpts from the Pentateuch around. As I'm sure a few have guessed from previous posts I fall more on the agnostic side, I don't have the facts to prove one way or the other and lack the faith to believe one way or the other. That being said, I don't judge others merely based on where they stand on the subject I believe it is an individual choice that should be respected by others. As such, I would want my children to be educated from all points of view when making a decision about their beliefs.

I've pretty much got it in the bag, since I have agreed to not ask for any child support ever if she agrees to all my other terms. But would like insight into what everyone else does, has done, or plans to do as far as raising their children covering the subject or religious beliefs... and also if anyone else has ran into a problem similar to mine.

Great subject that I am excited to see the answers from different backgrounds.

[WarTim 3,456]

We have raised our children to believe as we do. We were very selective as to their formal education as well. We felt it our duty as parents. They have grown into successful-happy adults. God has truly blessed our Family. BTW. It sounds as if you have your hands full. I wish you all the best with your children.

[TitanTiger 20,469]

We have raised our children as Christians. We pray with them each night and when specific things come up. We are active in our church. They expressed to us at around 7 and 8 years old respectively that they wanted to be baptized and follow Christ.

I applaud your efforts. May they be fruitful and lead to Truth.

[AUDub 11,131]

Raising the kids Catholic. Had them baptized very recently.

[aubfaninga 16]

"... and also if anyone else has ran into a problem similar to mine."?

For those of you who have kids, did you or are you raising them to have the same religious beliefs as yourself?

I have two children from a previous marriage. She could care less how they were raised as long as they were healthy and clothed. Can't help much in that area.

I am currently married with two more children. I have a 21 year old son, 15 year old daughter, and 3 year old twins (boy/girl).

My eldest son was raised by 2 self proclaiming agnostic leaning toward atheists for a good portion of his life. (My x and I) My eldest daughter was 2 when I got divorced. Both learned of religion outside of my x or I. He is a non participating Christian and she is agnostic.

Now that we are caught up...

My 15 year old lives with me but she is mature enough that my wings of governance over her are very thin. She is not required to attend any worship or study but she does on her own free will. She can quote scripture with the best of them. Like you, she can't put all trust nor faith in the bible. She is also bi-sexual which makes people scratch their head when they hear my words concerning my faith. All of my kids know the limits of my condemnation and sexual preference is not one of them. I know my children have their personal lives that they keep to themselves but they know they can approach me with anything.

My twins are a different story. Being 3 they are governed more closely and will be raised in a different environment. They will be encouraged in my lifestyle and weaned as they mature. They currently recite scripture back to me as I read it to them. They have some scriptures memorized already. The traditional ones like John 3 and the not so traditional like Deuteronomy 6. They are encouraged to pray over meals and at other times. The only other encouraged habit is that I do observe the dietary instructions found in scripture. They are not allowed to eat unclean foods until they reach the age of where we can have a conversation about it.

Same way I raised my first two but with a faith I did not have earlier in my life. They will be encouraged to search out other beliefs and definitely encouraged to keep interest in the sciences. As all of my children age, my grip is loosened and they will always be influenced to think for themselves.

I don't have all the answers to life and it would be hypocritical to even give my children the impression that I do.

[aubfaninga 16]

Raising the kids Catholic. Had them baptized very recently.

Cool! Thanks for sharing.

Learn something new everyday. Never had enough curiosity into your faith to ask but Catholic would have not been on my radar.

[TexasTiger 12,800]

Raising the kids Catholic. Had them baptized very recently.

Cool! Thanks for sharing.

Learn something new everyday. Never had enough curiosity into your faith to ask but Catholic would have not been on my radar.

Ben strikes me as a Jesuit.

[DKW 86 7,410]

I became a Christian at 28 and was in a fundie church for a while myself.

Kim & I raise ours as pretty "liberal" (read that unfundies in the bible belt) Christians. We are very active in church, everyone of us.

We are active in Local Non-Denom Charities engaged in drug recovery, feeding the homeless and down on their luck, children aids services too.

We also support some very wonderful work in Swaziland. Our kids know and are active in all this.

We raise them to know we EXPECT them to give back to the church and to the world.

[JoeBags7277 734]

Been married for three years this May, and have been trying to have kids for two years with no luck to this point.

My wife and I were both raised in Protestant households, with very different levels of devotion. Her parents brought her up in church more or less to try to keep her and her brother out of trouble in her teenage years. Neither attend church now that she is grown. I was raised in a devout, pew jumping Church of God background, although my parents became heretics and made the switch to Southern Baptist during my childhood. Most of my folks on my father's side all live on the same road, so it was known if you hadn't been going to church lately. As a child, I remember thinking everyone believed the same as we did, because for all I knew they did. I feel this severely stunted my intellectual development and have since walked away from the church. My wife is a Christian, and I guess I fit most neatly into the agnostic camp.

Predictably, she wants our kids to be brought up in church. She's currently trying to find a church that suits her, and thankfully putting no pressure on me to come along. My only demands are that I'm allowed some discretion as to what religious aspects they're exposed to at an early age, as I find it wildly inappropriate to threaten a small child with eternal damnation in Hell for making the wrong choice. I also want them to be exposed to different beliefs, and to be allowed to gently, nonpersuasively explain why their father believes as he does, and for them to know unequivocally that we will both love them the same no matter what they choose.

[alexava 6,973]

This thread is becoming very interesting. My fathers side are all Catholic, some very devout. So i was baptized as a child in the catholic church. My Moms side was mostly baptist but not strongly involved in church. I cant even remember going to a Catholic service except for weddings and funerals. Went to a baptist church on and off as a child, later in teens didnt go at all. So i am not a church guy. My wifes upbringing was less religious than mine, but at her urging we visited a few different churches over the years. we enjoyed the united methodist the most. more recently attended a non-denominational church. I dont mind going for the sake of my wife and kids. (my kids attended a Baptist daycare from birth till kindergarten and summers since) I do feel something when im there but for the most part i feel i am wasting time. I guess i am stuck somewhere between deist, agnostic, and Christian. I do wish it was more clear to me or i was as driven and sure as some people i know and admire. My kids talk about what they are taught in daycare/summer care, participate in plays and stuff. I am all for it, for them. my son goes to church with friends and enjoys it but for the activities mostly. Someday i hope i see it different or more clearly but i think we all understand right from wrong.

[aubfaninga 16]

This thread is becoming very interesting. My fathers side are all Catholic, some very devout. So i was baptized as a child in the catholic church. My Moms side was mostly baptist but not strongly involved in church. I cant even remember going to a Catholic service except for weddings and funerals. Went to a baptist church on and off as a child, later in teens didnt go at all. So i am not a church guy. My wifes upbringing was less religious than mine, but at her urging we visited a few different churches over the years. we enjoyed the united methodist the most. more recently attended a non-denominational church. I dont mind going for the sake of my wife and kids. (my kids attended a Baptist daycare from birth till kindergarten and summers since) I do feel something when im there but for the most part i feel i am wasting time. I guess i am stuck somewhere between deist, agnostic, and Christian. I do wish it was more clear to me or i was as driven and sure as some people i know and admire. My kids talk about what they are taught in daycare/summer care, participate in plays and stuff. I am all for it, for them. my son goes to church with friends and enjoys it but for the activities mostly. Someday i hope i see it different or more clearly but i think we all understand right from wrong.

You chose Auburn so we never had a doubt that you knew right from wrong

[Texan4Auburn 1,626]

I saw this about the same time I read this thread and her mentioning I pray multiple times to Jesus:

“There are two answers to this, kill it, give it away or leave it at home.I just said a small prayer, please Jesus let there be something wrong with that child that makes it do that because if not, I would like to know why that woman has not beaten the f&%$ out of that kid yet.”

http://whotv.com/2015/03/24/womans-rant-on-child-discipline-goes-viral/

Would be curious exactly how religion plays into her upbringing and the upbringing of her own children if she has any.

[Mims44 1,864]

Wow, some great posts so far. AUfan, I have twins also, both girls (8years old). They can be a handful sometimes, lol.

Predictably, she wants our kids to be brought up in church. She's currently trying to find a church that suits her, and thankfully putting no pressure on me to come along. My only demands are that I'm allowed some discretion as to what religious aspects they're exposed to at an early age, as I find it wildly inappropriate to threaten a small child with eternal damnation in Hell for making the wrong choice. I also want them to be exposed to different beliefs, and to be allowed to gently, nonpersuasively explain why their father believes as he does, and for them to know unequivocally that we will both love them the same no matter what they choose.

Very well said, excellent plan I think:)

[aubfaninga 16]

I saw this about the same time I read this thread and her mentioning I pray multiple times to Jesus:

“There are two answers to this, kill it, give it away or leave it at home.I just said a small prayer, please Jesus let there be something wrong with that child that makes it do that because if not, I would like to know why that woman has not beaten the f&%$ out of that kid yet.”

http://whotv.com/2015/03/24/womans-rant-on-child-discipline-goes-viral/

Would be curious exactly how religion plays into her upbringing and the upbringing of her own children if she has any.

The praying to "baby Jesus" told me all that I needed to know.

If I were a betting person I would wager she has a bible but it stays on the dash of her car. She most likely does not attend a church because of all the "hypocrits". She probably commits to praying for every single person on her facebook page that shares a problem. If asked who Joan of Ark was she would answer, "Noahs Wife".

She does bring up a subject that some are very passionate about.

How do you feel about spanking? Do you have limits? (Belt, hand, switch etc...)

Does physical correction of a child fit into your faith?

[aubfaninga 16]

Been married for three years this May, and have been trying to have kids for two years with no luck to this point.

My wife and I were both raised in Protestant households, with very different levels of devotion. Her parents brought her up in church more or less to try to keep her and her brother out of trouble in her teenage years. Neither attend church now that she is grown. I was raised in a devout, pew jumping Church of God background, although my parents became heretics and made the switch to Southern Baptist during my childhood. Most of my folks on my father's side all live on the same road, so it was known if you hadn't been going to church lately. As a child, I remember thinking everyone believed the same as we did, because for all I knew they did. I feel this severely stunted my intellectual development and have since walked away from the church. My wife is a Christian, and I guess I fit most neatly into the agnostic camp.

Predictably, she wants our kids to be brought up in church. She's currently trying to find a church that suits her, and thankfully putting no pressure on me to come along. My only demands are that I'm allowed some discretion as to what religious aspects they're exposed to at an early age, as I find it wildly inappropriate to threaten a small child with eternal damnation in Hell for making the wrong choice. I also want them to be exposed to different beliefs, and to be allowed to gently, nonpersuasively explain why their father believes as he does, and for them to know unequivocally that we will both love them the same no matter what they choose.

Hell fire preaching is one of many things that kept me from studying my bible for a very long time. I could never wrap my spirit around loving something or someone out of fear.

[Mims44 1,864]

She does bring up a subject that some are very passionate about.

How do you feel about spanking? Do you have limits? (Belt, hand, switch etc...)

Does physical correction of a child fit into your faith?

I can't do it, I understand others reasoning but with my past I can't bring myself to do it. Hell the only time I've ever been in trouble with the law (MPs) was for issuing out my own punishment on a man I saw raise his hand to his wife and child.

It's about the only thing that I lose my self control over, and as such I just try to stay away from it at all times.

[aubfaninga 16]

She does bring up a subject that some are very passionate about.

How do you feel about spanking? Do you have limits? (Belt, hand, switch etc...)

Does physical correction of a child fit into your faith?

I can't do it, I understand others reasoning but with my past I can't bring myself to do it. Hell the only time I've ever been in trouble with the law (MPs) was for issuing out my own punishment on a man I saw raise his hand to his wife and child.

It's about the only thing that I lose my self control over, and as such I just try to stay away from it at all times.

I used spanks a lot with my first son because of how I was raised and it was easier at my younger age.

My parenting skills and time investment on behavior issues have gotten leap years better since that time. There is still room for the occasional pop to show my children that things are serious at that moment but luckily I am blessed with very well mannered twins.

We have crossed that emotional breakdown in Publix and the leg pop numbed the emotional anguish of not getting to open the ice cream long enough to "talk about it".

Now my 3 year old son, being the sponge he is, always starts his conversations with "Father, I need to talk about it" whenever he wants something. He works it like a champ and gets that Mutant turtle almost everytime.

His mom started the "Father" mess by the way.

[homersapien 11,352]

She does bring up a subject that some are very passionate about.

How do you feel about spanking? Do you have limits? (Belt, hand, switch etc...)

Does physical correction of a child fit into your faith?

I can't do it, I understand others reasoning but with my past I can't bring myself to do it. Hell the only time I've ever been in trouble with the law (MPs) was for issuing out my own punishment on a man I saw raise his hand to his wife and child.

It's about the only thing that I lose my self control over, and as such I just try to stay away from it at all times.

I used spanks a lot with my first son because of how I was raised and it was easier at my younger age.

My parenting skills and time investment on behavior issues have gotten leap years better since that time. There is still room for the occasional pop to show my children that things are serious at that moment but luckily I am blessed with very well mannered twins.

We have crossed that emotional breakdown in Publix and the leg pop numbed the emotional anguish of not getting to open the ice cream long enough to "talk about it".

Now my 3 year old son, being the sponge he is, always starts his conversations with "Father, I need to talk about it" whenever he wants something. He works it like a champ and gets that Mutant turtle almost everytime.

His mom started the "Father" mess by the way.

That's funny!

This is a challenge I never faced as I don't have children.

But I agree that 1787 has the right idea. I suspect that children are going to infer more from their parents behavior than from being "taught" from others. At least I would hope so. I know I would find it disturbing if others were instilling religion into my child. I would prefer seeing them defer commitment to such a belief system until they were much older.

[cole256 17,039]

Don't have kids yet. I'd raise them like I was raised I imagine. My cousin is actually a pretty well known pastor nationally, I won't mention her name because any insults towards her wouldn't be good...physical correction sure worked on me lol. Wasn't scared of anybody or anything the hood but was terrified of my little mom and grand mom. Just the thought of disappointing my grand da was enough to discipline me as far as he goes

[AUDub 11,131]

...Now my 3 year old son, being the sponge he is, always starts his conversations with "Father, I need to talk about it" whenever he wants something. He works it like a champ and gets that Mutant turtle almost everytime....

Man, I know that feeling. All three of my girls (and my wife) have found my soft spot and hammer it whenever they want something.

[AUUSN 823]

...Now my 3 year old son, being the sponge he is, always starts his conversations with "Father, I need to talk about it" whenever he wants something. He works it like a champ and gets that Mutant turtle almost everytime....

Man, I know that feeling. All three of my girls (and my wife) have found my soft spot and hammer it whenever they want something.

There's a joke in the Navy that if you are a P-3 Pilot / crewman or have been on a Ship with an Aegis radar, all you'll have is girls. Well, I was on two Aegis ships and all I have are girls...

[channonc 466]

Interesting thread. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, together for 17, and have no plans for children. I was raised protestant and he was raised catholic. When we attend church we have always attended a catholic church. There's lots of things I disagree with the church about, which is why I haven't officially converted, but overall enjoy the structure of the service, it was similar to the structure I had growing up. My belief in God is strong, but I am overall not a big fan of organized religion outside of just attending the services. I get nervous when anyone assumes they understand God more than you, but yet preaches that we should have our own individual relationship with him. I feel that all those decisions should be made at an individual level. I grew up having friends of multiple religious faiths (hindu, jewish, agnostic, etc.) so I think that plays into my thoughts that I am not sure everything is so black and white and why I choose not to see things with a religiously tinted lense.

[Grumps 3,693]

Okay, I be the wacko. I was mostly a pretend Christian for 40+ years, and until recently, would have agreed that it would be good to teach your kids to be open to all things. However, everything changed when God revealed HisTruth to me. Once you know the truth, you cannot reasonably teach anything else.

[Grumps 3,693]

I will admit that if Allah, or Vishnu, or Buddha et al. send their Holy Spirit to reveal themselves to me then I would probably believe that they were real also.