The story so far...

[Guest FEARLESSANDTRUE]

all of your geneticly familial offspring.  But huryy. . .

[aubman1 0]

this is a limited time offer.  Next week your....

[AUGradinTX 0]

..tests results will be in and it would be a shame to learn that you have...

[bigbird 60,367]

Qazi-Markouizos syndrome, characterised principally by non-progressive central hypotonia, chronic constipation, and severe psychomotor retardation. 

[Guest FEARLESSANDTRUE]

But no worries.  You'll just think that diagnosis means you have another national championship.

[JRush 0]

in cross breeding

[beaumak 174]

with updykes and turds to make this...

[TheBCSRobbery 0]

A lovely pachyderm-human with tusks the size of...

[Richard78 73]

Nick Saban's ego. Meanwhile, Trooper chest-bumped the Prez, who...

[aubman1 0]

...in turn remarked, "Is that a mullet I see on the front lawn of

[Ronald McDonald 0]

the White House?

[AUEnder 0]

"Yes," said Trooper.  Mr. Prez, it is indeed a Mullet.  We have lost containment.  It's too late.  Call the third....

[AUnCullman 601]

grade teachers in, they are the only ones that can speak to a turd on their IQ level. But then in shock we noticed the mullet had on jorts and they were...

[21 flames 0]

The same pink ones that his great-grandmother had worn. They were...

[ToraGirl 5,498]

the original Daisy-Dukes, in fact.  Except for one difference:

[aubman1 0]

...they were made of hounds tooth fabric that was intended to...

[ToraGirl 5,498]

rally the Bammer brigade.  However, just the opposite happened:

[Weegle777 78]

...Barry Manilow showed up, sang to Nick Saban while Nick was starting to.....

[ToraGirl 5,498]

spank himself.  You see, he'd run out of players to "discipline", so he was processing, according to...

[beaumak 174]

Finebammer. Therefore Paul decided to drop his...

[ToraGirl 5,498]

Finebammer. Therefore Paul decided to drop his...

drawers and present his own "version" of Daisy Dukes, which actually represented...

[aubman1 0]

...his Nick Saban look alike doll.  He glanced down and said...

[ToraGirl 5,498]

"Dog!  They didn't put the SPANK function on you.  Now, I'll have to..."

[21 flames 0]

"@#!% %@#&& @@##$ my @##%$!" Which is loosely translated...

[ToraGirl 5,498]

"Try the Auburn tactic of inspiring character."  However, it was a foreign concept, hence the profanity...