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Funniest al response (Updyke on the loose!)


C'viewTiger

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Saw this in one of the articles on al.com "Breaking down the QBs".

04secchamps

This is a true story. This bama fan stops at the same gas station I am at, gets out of his car, which has 2 bama window flags on it. Walks in and says, I need $20 of gas and I gotta pee, where's the toilet? Cashier says, out that door, around the pumps, and in the hole on the side of that car. I nearly spit out the coffee in my mouth when he said that. Then the bama fan walks out to his car, turns around and pees on the gas pumps and drives off. I just wanted to thank that cool bama fan for giving me $20 worth of gas that day.

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Saw this in one of the articles on al.com "Breaking down the QBs".

04secchamps

This is a true story. This bama fan stops at the same gas station I am at, gets out of his car, which has 2 bama window flags on it. Walks in and says, I need $20 of gas and I gotta pee, where's the toilet? Cashier says, out that door, around the pumps, and in the hole on the side of that car. I nearly spit out the coffee in my mouth when he said that. Then the bama fan walks out to his car, turns around and pees on the gas pumps and drives off. I just wanted to thank that cool bama fan for giving me $20 worth of gas that day.

That's funny. Their elevator don't go all the way to the top.
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I have a story somewhat similar to this from the 2004 Iron Bowl. My step-dad and I stopped at a gas station between Tuscaloosa and B'ham on Highway 82 after the game. I kid you not, some lady walks into the station, comes right up to me and yells "Hey Auburn, who won the first half?! Huh?! That's right, Bama did!" I wanted to come up with something, but I couldn't stop laughing at the insanity of the comment since we dominated the second half and won THE GAME. The cashier looked as dumbfounded as we were.

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I was at a Walmart (and therefore should have expected this :-\) right before this year's BCSCG when a 70ish woman wearing a bammer t-shirt poked me in my AU t-shirt and said, "Why are you wearing that, don't you know who's number 1?!"

Had I not been so dumbfounded being assaulted by a 70 year old woman, I might have thought to respond, "Um, Notre Dame," as they were ranked first in the polls at that time...

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In my next life I want to be a doctor who does autopsies. I would love to do research on the brains of bammers to determine what makes them so deranged.

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In my next life I want to be a doctor who does autopsies. I would love to do research on the brains of bammers to determine what makes them so deranged.

You are presuming there IS a brain in there.

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You know, bammer has to have the market on having the dumbest fans in the country. It is as predictable as taking crap 4 hours after eating a box of Ex-Lax with their behavior.

99% of the time, a bammer will go out of his/her way to say something to an Auburn fan that is minding his/her own business. THey do this in that within their pea-sized brain they think they are superior to an Auburn fan. They are just too dumb to realize that their behavior reinforces their stupidity. I am sure that there are countless true stories out there that pretty much have a common red thread of stupidity. Someone should write a book that contains true stories throughout the ages of bammers making total idiots of themselves when they confront Auburn fans.

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I am at the Braves game on Sunday with the family. We are having a nice time, enjoying the game even though the Braves are getting pounded. I look down the end of the row and see two Bammers, and thought to myself I am glad they are not by me. I spoke too soon. About that time the actual ticket holder for those seats showed up and told them to move. Yes they were in the wrong seats. I hear this guy say "we will just move down there to that end of the row.". He then tells his mutant spawn child that their tickets are in a different section. My son and I couldn't help but laugh. my son turns his 2010 BCS Championship hat around backwards for them to look at as they sit behind us. They came to the Braves game decked out in bammer gear. They yelled ro#* ti@# every ten minutes. They were so loud everyone in the section could hear them. My wife always tells me not to stereotype, but she knows I am right. So when the cameraman specifically comes over to put MY SON on the jumbotron, who do you think takes his hat off, moves three seats over and sticks it over in the camera frame? You guessed it.........stop stereotyping.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am at the Braves game on Sunday with the family. We are having a nice time, enjoying the game even though the Braves are getting pounded. I look down the end of the row and see two Bammers, and thought to myself I am glad they are not by me. I spoke too soon. About that time the actual ticket holder for those seats showed up and told them to move. Yes they were in the wrong seats. I hear this guy say "we will just move down there to that end of the row.". He then tells his mutant spawn child that their tickets are in a different section. My son and I couldn't help but laugh. my son turns his 2010 BCS Championship hat around backwards for them to look at as they sit behind us. They came to the Braves game decked out in bammer gear. They yelled ro#* ti@# every ten minutes. They were so loud everyone in the section could hear them. My wife always tells me not to stereotype, but she knows I am right. So when the cameraman specifically comes over to put MY SON on the jumbotron, who do you think takes his hat off, moves three seats over and sticks it over in the camera frame? You guessed it.........stop stereotyping.

That is Exactly it.

I was living in NJ. Girlfriend's dad works for large insurance company and goes to a conference in Vegas every year. He goes and when he gets back he tells me about this guy who went to tuscalooser who gives a talk to the entire company about tradition and insurance but turns the whole thing into about bear bryant and alabama football....in front of the entire company. The funny part is that he is so dumb he does not realize what a fool he made of him self. Afterwards, GF dad goes up and tell him I went to Auburn, he makes a shooting guesture at an invisible bird but backtracks when hearing that I went to architecture school....what a dummy. I was just glad my point was made about their fans without having to do anything.

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Ps. I live in San Antonio now and the crimson necks stick out like sore thumbs....walking down the street with al hats, sweatshirts, belts, decked out. I give.them a 'War eagle' while biking past around downtown and I can hear them freaking out. Hilarious .

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In my next life I want to be a doctor who does autopsies. I would love to do research on the brains of bammers to determine what makes them so deranged.

Specialize in proctology and you won't have to wait for them to die.

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In my next life I want to be a doctor who does autopsies. I would love to do research on the brains of bammers to determine what makes them so deranged.

Specialize in proctology and you won't have to wait for them to die.

This would get my vote for "Post of the Year" ! ! !

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  • 2 weeks later...

In my next life I want to be a doctor who does autopsies. I would love to do research on the brains of bammers to determine what makes them so deranged.

Specialize in proctology and you won't have to wait for them to die.

:lmao:

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In my next life I want to be a doctor who does autopsies. I would love to do research on the brains of bammers to determine what makes them so deranged.

Specialize in proctology and you won't have to wait for them to die.

:laugh:

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Ps. I live in San Antonio now and the crimson necks stick out like sore thumbs....walking down the street with al hats, sweatshirts, belts, decked out. I give.them a 'War eagle' while biking past around downtown and I can hear them freaking out. Hilarious .

This not the proper use of a War Eagle. That is a term only to be used in greeting other Auburn fans or yelling to cheer on the Tigers. It's not a taunt for rivals.

That's like casting pearls before swine. Get it straight.

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The difference in Auburn fans and bammers is amazing as we all agree. We use War Eagle as a sign that we see and recognize other Auburn fans while they are more like some type animal who just have to scream at any thing anytime. Was ina restaurant in PC this summer that had a guy playing music who was pretty good. Played a song that had the name Alabama(not the team, the state) in it and these redneck bammers started hollering roll tide. The guy stopped playing and when they finally realized it they stopped to see why. He told them that though he appreciated their support of their team; the other people there didn`t come to hear them scream for no obvious reason at all and he would appreciate it if they took it outside. You could have heard a pin drop until everyone else there started clapping and thanking him. They left pretty soon.

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The difference in Auburn fans and bammers is amazing as we all agree. We use War Eagle as a sign that we see and recognize other Auburn fans while they are more like some type animal who just have to scream at any thing anytime. Was ina restaurant in PC this summer that had a guy playing music who was pretty good. Played a song that had the name Alabama(not the team, the state) in it and these redneck bammers started hollering roll tide. The guy stopped playing and when they finally realized it they stopped to see why. He told them that though he appreciated their support of their team; the other people there didn`t come to hear them scream for no obvious reason at all and he would appreciate it if they took it outside. You could have heard a pin drop until everyone else there started clapping and thanking him. They left pretty soon.

Yep, among the many reasons I hate them is that they ruined a damn fine Skynyrd song for me. I can no longer hear "Sweet Home Alabama" at a public venue without some damn Bammers throwing in a "Roll, Tide, Roll"!

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The difference in Auburn fans and bammers is amazing as we all agree. We use War Eagle as a sign that we see and recognize other Auburn fans while they are more like some type animal who just have to scream at any thing anytime.

Because Auburn fans are family, but we have more things in our lives to treasure and be proud of than just a football team. Many of the mullet crowd have little personally to brag about (except perhaps procreating?), and must find self-respect vicariously by attaching themselves to a successful football program at a school they probably didn't even attend.
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"Attend"?.....The vast majority can't spell SCHOOL...............

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In my next life I want to be a doctor who does autopsies. I would love to do research on the brains of bammers to determine what makes them so deranged.

Specialize in proctology and you won't have to wait for them to die.

This would get my vote for "Post of the Year" ! ! !

Agree!!!
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  • 3 weeks later...

There is a reason they are called turds.....Where can you find another college in America where the fans gleefully display rolls of toilet paper attached to empty, or sometimes full, boxes of tide washing powders? Yes, I know the turds will say that we use toilet paper to roll trees each time we win a football game. We do this with toilet paper purchased for this activity knowing that our families have plenty of toilet paper to stay clean. On the other hand, when you see fans with toilet paper attached to boxes of tide washing powder, you can bet that their families will have to resort to the Sears Catalog for wiping their big red bammer a$$ after a collosal BM. And the laundry will have to wait until the next payday being that Junior Ray-Bob emptied a new unopenned box of Tide powders on the ground so that he could fix his official "roll tide" good luck contraption for game day. Yes, being called a "turd" is a badge of honor for every bammer fan this side of the Ex-Lax factory in North Tuscaloosa County. Yep, them bammers are a breed or inbreed of their own.

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In my next life I want to be a doctor who does autopsies. I would love to do research on the brains of bammers to determine what makes them so deranged.

Specialize in proctology and you won't have to wait for them to die.

LOL...NOW THATS FUNNY RIGHT THERE!! WAR EAGLE...hehehehe

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The difference in Auburn fans and bammers is amazing as we all agree. We use War Eagle as a sign that we see and recognize other Auburn fans while they are more like some type animal who just have to scream at any thing anytime. Was ina restaurant in PC this summer that had a guy playing music who was pretty good. Played a song that had the name Alabama(not the team, the state) in it and these redneck bammers started hollering roll tide. The guy stopped playing and when they finally realized it they stopped to see why. He told them that though he appreciated their support of their team; the other people there didn`t come to hear them scream for no obvious reason at all and he would appreciate it if they took it outside. You could have heard a pin drop until everyone else there started clapping and thanking him. They left pretty soon.

Yep, among the many reasons I hate them is that they ruined a damn fine Skynyrd song for me. I can no longer hear "Sweet Home Alabama" at a public venue without some damn Bammers throwing in a "Roll, Tide, Roll"!

I was in my early football years at the Supper Club & learned through the Velcro Pygmies to insert "WAR-EA-GLE" into that song. I'm much older now with 2 out of state children I'm about to adopt. They love that song & heard me sing & insert "WAR-EA-GLE". Oh yes that's one of their favorite songs now. They beg for me to play it nearly every time we ride in my truck. God I love those kids...& that song! War eagle yall.

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