How do you tip?

[Barnacle 9,064]

Last night, my dad and step-mother very graciously took my wife and I out to a nice dinner for her birthday. My dad is not the most pleasant person to dine out with. He has a certain arrogance about him when it comes to nice restaurants. I'm not sure where he learned to be this way, but he believes that he knows more about how to make an old-fashioned than the bartender, more about how much dressing to add to his salad than the pantry chef, more about how to cook grouper than the actual chef, and apparently more about how to properly tip a server than the rest of us. It was one of those nights. He had been giving the server a hard time all night about drinks, and apparently he wasn't prepared for the up-charge on the premium bourbon he ordered. So, when he got the check to sign, my step-mom took the bill from him in fear that he was about to short our server, who did a nice job by the way. Apparently, it was dad's intention not to tip on the drinks. 

I've spent a good amount of time in the restaurant business - summers in high school, during college, and also serving tables at night in addition to my day job in order to pay for an engagement ring a few years ago. I always tip on drinks. In fact, only in special circumstances do I think its acceptable not tip on drinks. My last serving job was for an upscale restaurant in Huntsville. We had an extensive and very expensive wine list. We routinely sold bottles of wine in the $100-200 range, and sometimes as much as $300. In those circumstances, I wouldn't expect my tables to tip 20 percent on $300 of wine, even though 90% of the time they would.  

That being said, last night, everyone ordered a cocktail or two before the meal, and I ordered a glass of wine with my steak. We weren't popping bottles of Opus One. Dad went with the "he didn't make the drinks" bit, "he just brought them to our table." Interestingly enough, this is exactly what he did with our food, but apparently this isn't that. My step-mom handed me the bill and asked what I would tip. Without hesitation, I'm at 20 percent of the entire bill. That's just me. Unless someone does a really, really bad job, I'm going to tip them 20 percent. I think most people fluctuate between 15 and 20 depending on service. What he was going to tip, would have equated to 10% of the bill. My step-mom split our differences and left 15%. Agree to disagree. 

All of that is to say, how do you tip? The entire bill? Just the food? 15 percent for good service? 20 percent? More? Less? What's your reasoning. I'm just interested. I think most people who have worked as servers or bartenders share a different perspective then other people. I'm curious what people here think. 

[RunInRed 16,354]

Minimum 20% unless something is just awful. Usually more.  Karma. 

[80Tiger 899]

Entire bill around 20% (due to rounding) unless some seriously bad service or food. If food is bad I will send back but not eat after that. Can't take a chance on something else coming to the table.

[Barnacle 9,064]

4 minutes ago, 80Tiger said:

Entire bill around 20% (due to rounding) unless some seriously bad service or food. If food is bad I will send back but not eat after that. Can't take a chance on something else coming to the table.

Depends on the restaurant if I'm sending food back. In a nicer restaurant, a chef would fire one of his cooks, or the manager would fire one of their servers on the spot if they suspected that someone did something to a patrons' food. Either way, I always try to be friendly to the server and communicate it in a way that isn't hostile. As a general rule, I always give the server the benefit of the doubt. There are 100 reasons that things go wrong with your order that don't have anything to do with your server. Granted, there are a 100 that do have to do with your server, but I always give them the benefit. At some restaurants, I'm not going to send food back, because it probably won't come back any better the second time. 

[AUld fAUx@ 2,584]

My tipping behavior has evolved tremendously over the long time since I was a tipped employee (I actually used to carry a coupl'a silver dollars in my pocket for "excellent" service; usually cost no more than a 10-15% tip, but the servers would do backflips).

Current standard is rounded 20% for competent or better, with some verbal thanks for better.  

As an aside - Stiffing a server for incompetence sends no message. Trust me, such a server will usually just consider you a bad person. If you get bad service, leave a penny. Message cannot be misunderstood.

[ShocksMyBrain 9,362]

Entire bill. If not, go tip the bartender for the drinks separately(something I've never heard of). Most places the bartender gets a cut of the server's tables anyway.

20% pretty much always.

10% if the server is exceptionally poor. There are times at restaurants when it's simply too busy to make sure everyone is having their drinks refilled and other needs tended to right away, so that should always be considered.

However, if it's at non-peak hours and the server is too busy cutting up with other employees, playing on their phone, etc. then they should be tipped accordingly. 

Sidenote: restaurants really need to find more things for their hosts/hostesses to do other than having their eyes down at their cellphone. I understand it's probably a boring job, but I've noticed more and more a delayed greeting because the hosts/hostesses are finishing up a text or whatever. 

[Barnacle 9,064]

1 hour ago, ShocksMyBrain said:

 Sidenote: restaurants really need to find more things for their hosts/hostesses to do other than having their eyes down at their cellphone. I understand it's probably a boring job, but I've noticed more and more a delayed greeting because the hosts/hostesses are finishing up a text or whatever. 

To me, that's all on management. Generally, if I'm in a restaurant where I see the hostess or servers constantly on their cell phones, I see their manager on theirs. 

There are some average to above average restaurants (food wise) in Huntsville that I visit often, mostly because they are well managed and their service is EXCELLENT. It goes a long way in my book. 

[McLoofus 35,182]

Whew, reassuring to see the responses in the thread. Was scared to look for a minute.

Agree with the majority. 20% on the whole bill is where I start. If someone is incompetent, I might drop it down to 15, but rarely. I have a lot of respect for effort and a positive attitude. If they are lazy or rude, I will drop it to 10 in a heartbeat. It's very, very rare that I go below that.

Going the other direction, I'll get up to 25% on a really great meal. 30% is usually reserved for servers I have a relationship with (and the bill isn't huge). Sadly, I have a lot of relationships with servers in my neighborhood. 2 adults and a little... we eat out too much. And there are several great bars a mile from my house. 

If the server comps something, I'll add it to the bill before calculating the tip. It's usually them making up for the kitchen's or bar's mistake. 

My basic philosophy in interactions with people providing goods and services is that I'd rather be slightly too generous than not quite generous enough. And I worked in restaurants quite a bit as a young fella, so I feel their pain. People would behave much different in restaurants if they'd ever had to work in one. Speaking of, my dad can be that guy, too. I never really get used to it. 

[augolf1716 21,093]

Tip??????? 

[AUld fAUx@ 2,584]

47 minutes ago, augolf1716 said:

Tip??????? 

High-Stepper to Place in the third.

[AURaptor 1,121]

Start with 20% as a base, then usually a few more bucks, depending on service. 

[SaltyTiger 7,761]

Tip amount? Depends on how nice and how hot the waitress is. Are we expected to tip waiters?

[tiger88 934]

20%ish on entire bill. 15% if the service is so-so. You have to really suck to go below 15%. 

[alexava 6,972]

Tip varies based on service. But I do base it off the whole bill. It could be near "0" or up to 25%. Always cash tip. Unless I don't have the right bills. Sometimes if someone else pays I'll leave an additional cash tip if the service was good. If service is bad I very rarely complain or treat the server rudely. I respect people too much and don't want spit or worse in my food. I have been embarrassed by friends and family for how they treat servers. Even in fast food counters or drive through windows I don't expect much as far as competent service so I don't get riled. 

[augolf1716 21,093]

6 hours ago, alexava said:

Tip varies based on service. But I do base it off the whole bill. It could be near "0" or up to 25%. Always cash tip. Unless I don't have the right bills. Sometimes if someone else pays I'll leave an additional cash tip if the service was good. If service is bad I very rarely complain or treat the server rudely. I respect people too much and don't want spit or worse in my food. I have been embarrassed by friends and family for how they treat servers. Even in fast food counters or drive through windows I don't expect much as far as competent service so I don't get riled. 

^^This^^

[AURex 1,983]

I always leave a cash tip, so the server can pocket it. For a lunchtime meal, I never have alcohol and always tip based on service. Usually it is 18% to 20%, if the server does a good job. But I rarely eat out at lunch unless I'm traveling or taking wifey shopping. I don';t eat out at dinner much either, but when I do, it is a nicer restaurant. For an upscale restaurant, the tip does NOT include wine, because I lived in SF and NYC, and have a lot of fine wine tucked away, so I always take my own fine wines -- which are better than most restaurants offer, even the most expensive ones. The food is always more expensive in these restaurants, so 18% to 20% is a good chunk of change,. But still, I always tip in cash for the server. I usually send a glass of my wine back to the chef and a glass to the server as well.

 

[AUld fAUx@ 2,584]

12 hours ago, AURex said:

I always leave a cash tip, so the server can pocket it. For a lunchtime meal, I never have alcohol and always tip based on service. Usually it is 18% to 20%, if the server does a good job. But I rarely eat out at lunch unless I'm traveling or taking wifey shopping. I don';t eat out at dinner much either, but when I do, it is a nicer restaurant. For an upscale restaurant, the tip does NOT include wine, because I lived in SF and NYC, and have a lot of fine wine tucked away, so I always take my own fine wines -- which are better than most restaurants offer, even the most expensive ones. The food is always more expensive in these restaurants, so 18% to 20% is a good chunk of change,. But still, I always tip in cash for the server. I usually send a glass of my wine back to the chef and a glass to the server as well.

 

Aiding and abetting tax-evasion? When I was a server, much appreciated.

A very nice touch. Might I inquire in which state you get away with it? I wasn't allowed to accept (Ala., way back when).

[McLoofus 35,182]

22 hours ago, AUld fAUx@ said:

Aiding and abetting tax-evasion? When I was a server, much appreciated.

A very nice touch. Might I inquire in which state you get away with it? I wasn't allowed to accept (Ala., way back when).

I'm not aware of any states where you can't tip cash. Interesting that you weren't allowed to accept. 

[AUld fAUx@ 2,584]

8 minutes ago, McLoofus said:

I'm not aware of any states where you can't tip cash. Interesting that you weren't allowed to accept. 

Sorry - I tried (apparently unsuccessfully) to tie my two separate comments to two in the OP via formatting.

"A very nice touch." in italics was in response to Mr. Rex' "I usually send a glass of my wine back to the chef and a glass to the server as well."

[McLoofus 35,182]

2 minutes ago, AUld fAUx@ said:

Sorry - I tried (apparently unsuccessfully) to tie my two separate comments to two in the OP via formatting.

"A very nice touch." in italics was in response to Mr. Rex' "I usually send a glass of my wine back to the chef and a glass to the server as well."

Gooooooooootcha. And agreed.

As I don't seem to frequent the same kind of establishment that Mr. Rex does ("frequent" being key), I tend to offer my server a less classy liquid tip. Rarely accepted but always appreciated. 

[alexava 6,972]

Never bought a server a drink. Never dawned on me. 

[TitanTiger 20,464]

I don't figure it to the penny, but I look at the total amount and tack on a quick 20% calculated in my head for good service.  Never heard of not tipping on alcohol.  I agree with your point - the server didn't make the drinks, but they didn't make your entree or appetizer either.  They just bring all these items to the table and get you whatever else you want or need.  Does he subtract things like tea or soft drinks from the bill as well.  Because in many restaurants, the bar pours regular drinks like that as well.

[Tigermike 3,007]

I usually tip 20% sometimes a little more.

But I have a question.   If you eat at one of the chains, Logan's for example and the bill for steak and drinks comes to $80.00 & the tip comes to $16.00 But if you eat at Ruth's Chris and the bill will be $150.00 or more and the tip would be $30.00  The waiter or waitress did the same work but one was tipped almost twice as much.  What's the difference?

[augolf1716 21,093]

3 minutes ago, Tigermike said:

I usually tip 20% sometimes a little more.

But I have a question.   If you eat at one of the chains, Logan's for example and the bill for steak and drinks comes to $80.00 & the tip comes to $16.00 But if you eat at Ruth's Chris and the bill will be $150.00 or more and the tip would be $30.00  The waiter or waitress did the same work but one was tipped almost twice as much.  What's the difference?

Service wise not much but the type of steak your getting at Ruth Chris compared to Logan's is very different

[Tigermike 3,007]

6 minutes ago, augolf1716 said:

Service wise not much but the type of steak your getting at Ruth Chris compared to Logan's is very different

There's no doubt that the steak is much better.  But are you tipping the server for the food quality or the service?  Why not send a tip to the chef as well?  And as others have said in this thread how about the bar tender?  How about the hostess who smiled pretty and led you to the table? 

 

PS I've had this discussion with a good friend who thinks they shouldn't be tipped differently just because it's a high priced restaurant.  I on the other hand just go with 20% and don't think much about it.