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caleb1633

#BamaHateWeek (Bama Jokes)

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Give the board your best Alabama jokes! For starters:

Q: How can you tell if an Alabama fan is married?

 

A: There's dried tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup

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Why don’t they celebrate Christmas in Tuscaloosa?  
Cant find three wise men and a virgin. 
 

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If memes count, this one is wayyyyy up there. 

FB_IMG_1574895701624.jpg

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At the university of Alabama why can’t they have drivers Ed and sex education on the same day ??

There is only one Goat 

#bamasucksass

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What do you get when you cross a uat cheerleader and a gorilla?......Nothing. There are some things a gorilla will NOT do!!

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There were three bama fans riding in the back of a pick up truck. The truck hydroplaned into a lake and sunk. The man driving the truck swam to the bank as some spectators gathered. “Why haven’t the guys in the back of the truck swam up yet?” a woman said. The driver of the truck replied “They’re still trying to figure out how to let the tail gate down”

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A bama student goes home for winter break and is hired to help clear some timber. He goes to the store and asked the salesman he needs a good chainsaw. The sales man shows him one and say this is a great model you should easily get 3-4 trees down a day. The student gets it and heads to work. After a few days he returns with the saw and complains that he isn't getting any where near the output the salesman claimed. He say, man, I'm barely getting one tree down and cut up. I need a better saw.  The sales man takes him over to a industrial saw and says, this one is really powerful and is rated to get 5-7 trees processed a day. The student says, I'll take it! A few days later he shows back up at the store even more irritated. Man! This is a terrible saw. Claims 5-7 trees a day and I can barely get half of that! The salesman says, Alright here is the top of the line saw that was engineered specifically for professional loggers. It's designed to fell and cut up 10+ trees a day. The student hesitates but accepts it and goes to work. A few days later he comes back fuming that he had spent so much for a defective saw. He tells the salesman, this is a awful, I paid twice the price and am still getting 1/2 of the output guaranteed. The salesman, confused, says let me look at it and see what's going on. He reaches down and cranks back on the pull cord and the saw roars up to speed. Confused, the bama student ask, what's that noise?

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An Alabama linebacker, safety, and running back are all together in a car. Who’s driving?

-A police officer.

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Did you know the tooth brush was invented in Tuscaloosa? Anyplace else would have called it a teeth brush.

Edited by gr82be
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Why do University of Alabama football players use body heat activated deodorant? Because it's the closest they will come to getting a "Degree".

 

Q: What does the average bammer player get on his ACT test?

A: Drool.

 

Q: How many bammer players does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Five. And they each get three credits.

 

Q: Why do bammer students go to movies in groups of 18 or more?

A: Because "17 and under not admitted."

 

Q: Why isn't there any ice in the cafeteria at Turdaloosa?

A: Because the only student who knew the recipe graduated.

 

:rimshot:

 
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Did you hear that the campus library at Bama burned down? Both books burned but only one had been colored in.

 

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How many Bama fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but you have to listen to all the rest of them talk about how great the dead light bulb was IconLOL.gif

What has 100 legs and three teeth? Front row of a Willie Nelson concert in Tuscaloosa...

What's three things you will never hear someone from Bama say?

1)  "Nascar is boring."

2) "I don't think duck tape will fix that."

3) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex."

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Two Alabama fans are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack.

When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"

"Jus' some chickens."

"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"

"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"

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