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You might be a liberal if........


Tiger in Spain

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You May Be a Liberal if......

You condemn Israel and the US for fighting terrorism, but turn a blind eye when another civilian cafe or bus station is blown up by radical fundies

You support killing of innocent and defenseless babies, but rush to the defense of hardened, and violent criminals

You believe that 6 month old babies and old ladies should be frisked at the airport, because focusing on swarthy-looking young Arabs would be discriminatory.

You value the lives of animals, greater than the lives of a human

You believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

You believe that condoms and clean needles should be handed out at school, but Bibles must not be allowed

You use any of the following terms to describe someone in a derogatory manner: rich, successful, money-making...

You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

You believe that it's sexual harrassment when a conservative Supreme Court nominee makes a few crude jokes to one woman, but not when a Liberal President serially gropes, fondles and exposes himself to multiple women.

You chastize Ah-Nold for alledged groping of women, and cheered when Bill Clinton did the same

You think Ah-Nold should not have been allowed to run for Govoner, because he's "just a celebrity", but you would have found no problem endorsing Tim Robbins, Martin Sheen, Michael Moore, et al based on that very criteria.

You blame the gun, and not the killer.

You feel that doctors are over-paid, and ambulance chasing lawyers are not.

You think minorities could never make it without Affirmative Action .

You preach about the evils of SUV's because of the gas they consume, then parade around in a 6 mile per gallon limo (Babs Streisand/Hollywood).

You think anything Martin Sheen or Michael Moore says should be instant truth and should be revered as if it was a long-lost Gospel.

You think there is nothing wrong with blantant Liberal bias among CNN, BCC, Al-Jezzera, ect and then scream when Fox News has a slight Conservative edge.

You think the Dixie Chicks and Tim Robbins should say what they want, but O'reilly, Hannity, and Limbaugh should not have that right.

You think Yassar Arrafat cares about peace.

You think Bill Clinton really "felt your pain".

Your response to anything Rush Limbaugh says is, "Well, he's fat." .

You rammed Limbaugh for drug-use, but cheered when Clinton talked of "smoking pot, but not inhaling".

You've stood for animal rights, but wear leather belts and sandals.

If anybody disagrees with what you say, they are challenging your rights to Freedom of Speech.

You call Conservative boycotts "McCarthyism", but when Liberals boycott, you call it "Freedom of Choice".

You abhor censorship unless it's censoring race, religion, Conservatism, Western culture or Rush Limbaugh.

You cry, "You can't legislate morality," but defend the Roe v. Wade decision in order to legalize your moral position on abortion.

You think religion is bad for school kids to learn, but think condom giveaways, and lessons on how to properly shoot up, are just what schools need .

You think we should have given Saddam 12 more years to lie to and decieve the world, and kill his own innocent citizens.

You don't think "All in the Family" is a very funny program, but watch it anyway because Meathead makes a lot of sense.

You think it takes a village.

You think that the words "to promote the general welfare" in the Constitution mean to promote welfare generally.

You are against the war on terrorism, but are only too happy to make millions of dollars making movies about it.

You preach about the evils of capitalism from the comfort of your $50,000,000 Beverly Hills mansion.

You think that being able to play the President on a popular TV show automatically equates to "political expertise" in real life.

You think that more taxes are an "economic cure-all".

You think every one of life's problems can be solved with bigger Government.

You think the easiest way to tackle a problem is to throw money at it.

You think Hollywood is some kind of "supreme god" who can do and say no wrong, and should be worshipped 24/7.

You think Freedom of Speech means freedom from responsibility for what you say.

You blame the NRA, and not the criminals, for violent crime with guns.

You think the Corporations are evil, but Communism and dictatorships are "noble".

You think the UN is an efficient governmental body.

You say you fight discrimination, then you give minorities extra "perks" simply because of race.

You think traits like honesty and character are "out-dated".

You think that the minority should have the right to force their will upon the majority.

You somehow think taking guns away from honest citizens will reduce crime by violent offenders.

You think that guns in the hands of peaceful, law-following citizens are a bigger threat to the world than a nuclear weapon in the hands of a hate-filled dictator.

You think a President who compromised with hate-filled dictators, bent over backwards to appease terrorists, and gave military technology to hostile nations are somehow a better leader than President Bush.

You preach "peace" and "love" and "non-violence" and "anti-gun laws" but appear in movies that glorify guns, explosives and twisting people's heads of with martial arts to win over the bad guys.

You deride Bush for landing on a plane to boost moral and show his gratitude to the troops but you praise Clinton for using the military as a social program to force gays into the ranks and lowering moral.

You think a person's sexual preference, and not their ability to perform, should be the deciding factor in who-gets-what job.

You think demanding respect is more important that actually doing something to earn it.

You think the "right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances" means breaking into military installations during wartime, stopping commerce, and breaking nudity laws are what the founding fathers meant.

You think that rights of gays, lesbians, drag queens (or kings) should be forcibly recognized, but rights of Christians or other religious groups should be taken away

You think burning the American Flag is protected by Freedom of Speech, but those who disagree are not.

You think convicted criminals and democratic politicians who screw up are worth understanding and forgiving but conservative politicians and religious people who speak their opinion should be banned from public service.

You think that tolerance equals acceptance and anyone who doesn't accept a Liberal cause is a racist or bigot.

You throw down the "race card" as your only argument.

You think terrorists and arsonists who burn down private property and harass businesses are noble but the troops who liberated Iraqis are war criminals.

You think that violent protests and domestic terrorism are how you affect change in our country instead of voting.

You ban Tom Sawyer from schools for being "racist" but you approve of My Two Moms as wholesome and acceptable.

You think that you can understand politics from Hollywood and activist celebrities without doing any research yourself.

You frown upon self-thought and independent thought.

You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared").

You think pedophilia is ok, but God must be banned.

You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.

You find charisma to be an appropriate replacement for honesty.

You find flashy rhetoric to be a suitable substitute for sincerity.

You don't believe willful omissions of facts should be considered lying.

You simultaneously urinate on our country and its system while reaping its rewards.

You try to make excuses for and justify terrorism.

You think Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden and Hitler were just "misunderstood".

You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions.

You think mothers who are drug addicts should be allowed to have children and to raise them while they're addicted.

You think capitalism is "evil", but dictatorships, Communism, and Nazi-ism were "heroic" and noble.

You do not believe that violent criminals should be subject to the death penalty because it's "inhumane" but at the same time, you refuse to lift a finger to save an un-born child.

You think that Saddam, Stalin, and Hitler were "noble" and in the same breath, you call President Bush "evil".

You believe in choice except when it comes to retirement, schools, and health care.

You take a trip over to a foreign country to profess how horrible America is.

You think Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man".

You believe that unwed teenage mothers should get a paycheck from the Government.

You ignore more than 50 years of medical warnings about tobacco use, but when you get cancer, the tobacco company is to blame.

You wish to reward the lazy who do not wish to work.

You think since Clinton only "smoked and didn't inhale" pot, it's OK.

You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

You think the best way to deal with terrorist regimes is to appease and compromise with them.

You think SUVs are responsible for the rising cost of gas.

You believe that morals and integrity should never get in the way of popular opinion.

You want to legalize drugs but outlaw tobacco.

You want what you feel "you deserve", instead of what you earn.

You think it's OK to be dis-honest, if personal gain is at stake.

You can exaggerate the facts and make up fiction to prove your point.

You spew out your rhetoric, but have nothing to back it up.

You think that "truth" is irrelevant.

You refuse to ever fly the American flag or any other show of patriotism because this country has so many things wrong with it.

You think that the Fourth of July is an evil holiday and refuse to celebrate it.

You have always been constantly complaining, whining, and saying how much you absolutely hate this country despite the fact that you have been living here all your life and pay taxes and support the economy.

You believe that the term 'illegal immigrant' is profane.

You think of our servicemen/women as being brainwashed, manipulated zombies.

You think that we have no business saying how Iraq should be run and therefore Saddam should of stayed in power.

You think that any WMD's that will be found were planted there by the Bush admin.

You believe that an accusation against a Conservative should not be concerned with whether or not that accusation is a lie or the truth but should be wholly concerned with the seriousness of the accusation.

If you decry every mention of Christian faith but demand a paid day off on Christmas.

And Finally......................................................

You may be a Liberal if you think Ralph Nader cares about consumers, Unions care about their members, the ACLU cares about civil liberties, the National Education Association cares about education, People for the American Way care about the American way, and Bill Clinton cares about anything other than Bill Clinton.

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You might be a conservative if you don't even bother to try and think for yourself, so instead you go and steal other people's posts from other message boards and then post them under your own name on places like WEN.

http://www.insignificantthoughts.com/archives/000135.html

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That, my friend, was passed to me via email. Why reinvent the wheel when the wheel in question is perfect to begin with?

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My, my, my. What an utterly sophomoric diatribe!!! The author must surely sleep well at night since he/she has everything all figured out.

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You might be a conservative if you don't even bother to try and think for yourself, so instead you go and steal other people's posts from other message boards and then post them under your own name on places like WEN.

http://www.insignificantthoughts.com/archives/000135.html

You mean like Tiger Al did with George Bush's "so-called" resume he got from Moby?

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You might be a conservative if you don't even bother to try and think for yourself, so instead you go and steal other people's posts from other message boards and then post them under your own name on places like WEN.

http://www.insignificantthoughts.com/archives/000135.html

You mean like Tiger Al did with George Bush's "so-called" resume he got from Moby?

Good one, Jen. Have you had your broken glass for lunch today???

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Here's one for the Democrats.

You might be a Democrat if you can swim and don't mind leaving a young woman to drown.

This is only acceptable if you've had a little too much to drink. Otherwise...

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Here's one for the Democrats.

You might be a Democrat if you can swim and don't mind leaving a young woman to drown.

This is only acceptable if you've had a little too much to drink. Otherwise...

So in other words, all Kennedys get a free pass, huh? :P

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You might be a conservative if you don't even bother to try and think for yourself, so instead you go and steal other people's posts from other message boards and then post them under your own name on places like WEN.

http://www.insignificantthoughts.com/archives/000135.html

You mean like Tiger Al did with George Bush's "so-called" resume he got from Moby?

Are you kidding? CShine sees no problem with what AL did because AL and He are Commies together! ;) Notice his non-reply.

Sorry, AL. Couldn't resist pointing out the blatant stupidity on some peoples (CShine) remarks! You know how it is! :P

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