AUSportTalk 4 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 ****A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!' ****Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?' ****The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!' ****Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. 'Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?' ****Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest auburn warrior Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RollToomers1345162763 0 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUDomination 0 Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Little Johnny = Too Funny!! Thanks for sharing man!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson-Sullivan 0 Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Gotta love Little Johnny!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Tiger 0 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest auburn warrior Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 man sportstalk where do you get this stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Defiant 133 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I got a good Little Johnny Joke, One day little Johnny was with his mother and dad and they were getting ready to see their friends new addition to the family. Little Johnnys' mother grabs him up close and says " Now little Johnny you be extra polite when we go to see the baby, because when the baby was born it had no ears. i don't want you to say anything about his ears in front of them" Little Johnny agrees with his Mother and they get in the car and head out. They had been at the house for a while and they went into the baby room and little Johnny leans over the crib and peers at the baby. The babies mother says " Little Johnny asks if the baby has good eye sight?" The Mother says " Why yes Johnny the Doctor said he has 20/20 Vision" Then Johnny says " Well that's good because he would be S.O.L If he ever needed glasses!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collins3 0 Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rctiger 0 Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 One day in class, the teacher decided to have the children tell tales that had a "moral to the story". Each child took turns, each successfully telling their tales. Finally, it was LJ's turn. He told of how his Uncle Charley was a paratrooper in Vietnam. On one mission, all hope seemed lost, so before jumping from the plane Uncle Charley drank his entire flask of whiskey. When Charlie landed, he was surrounded by the enemy. He emptied his rifle and pistol, taking out 33 bad guys. He finished off the last of them with his knife and bare hands. Eventually, Charlie was the only man standing... The teacher, completely at a loss for words, asked LJ, "What's the moral to your story?" LJ replied... "Don't mess with Uncle Charley when he's been drinking." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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