Little Johnny Jokes!!

[AUSportTalk 4]

****A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She

started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand

up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do

you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see

you standing there all by yourself!'

****Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on

her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself

beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a

tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'

****The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in

class. She called on him and said, 'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and

44?' Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon

Network!'

****Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local

police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the

10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and

asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the

policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. 'Little

Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'

****Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as

his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the

horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked,

'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'because when I'm

buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good

shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS

guy wants to buy Mom.'

[Guest auburn warrior]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[RollToomers1345162763 0]

[AUDomination 0]

Little Johnny = Too Funny!!  Thanks for sharing man!!

[Jackson-Sullivan 0]

Gotta love Little Johnny!!!!

[White Tiger 0]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[Guest auburn warrior]

man sportstalk where do you get this stuff

[The Defiant 133]

I got a good Little Johnny Joke,

One day little Johnny was with his mother and dad and they were getting ready to see their friends new addition to the family.  Little Johnnys' mother grabs him up close and says " Now little Johnny you be extra polite when we go to see the baby, because when the baby was born it had no ears.  i don't want you to say anything about his ears in front of them"  Little Johnny agrees with his Mother and they get in the car and head out.

They had been at the house for a while and they went into the baby room  and little Johnny leans over the crib and peers at the baby.  The babies mother says " Little Johnny asks if the baby has good eye sight?"  The Mother says " Why yes Johnny the Doctor said he has 20/20 Vision"  Then Johnny says " Well that's good because he would be S.O.L If he ever needed glasses!"

[Collins3 0]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ;D

[rctiger 0]

One day in class, the teacher decided to have the children tell tales that had a "moral to the story".  Each child took turns, each successfully telling their tales.  Finally, it was LJ's turn.  He told of how his Uncle Charley was a paratrooper in Vietnam.  On one mission, all hope seemed lost, so before jumping from the plane Uncle Charley drank his entire flask of whiskey. 

When Charlie landed, he was surrounded by the enemy.  He emptied his rifle and pistol, taking out 33 bad guys.  He finished off the last of them with his knife and bare hands.  Eventually, Charlie was the only man standing...

The teacher, completely at a loss for words, asked LJ, "What's the moral to your story?" 

LJ replied... "Don't mess with Uncle Charley when he's been drinking."