TitanTiger 20,469 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Native American Council Offers Amnesty to 240 Million Undocumented Whites The Native American National Council will offer amnesty to the estimated 240 million illegal white immigrants living in the United States. At a meeting on Friday in Taos, New Mexico, Native American leaders weighed a handful of proposals about the future of the United State’s large, illegal European population. After a long debate, NANC decided to extend a road to citizenship for those without criminal records or contagious diseases. “We will give Europeans the option to apply for Native Citizenship,” explained Chief Sauti of the Nez Perce tribe. “To obtain legal status, each applicant must write a heartfelt apology for their ancestors’ crimes, pay an application fee of $5,000, and, if currently on any ancestral Native land, they must relinquish that land to NANC or pay the market price, which we decide. “Any illegal European who has a criminal record of any sort, minus traffic and parking tickets, will be deported back to their native land. Anybody with contagious diseases like HIV, smallpox, herpes, etc, will not qualify and will also be deported.” European colonization of North America began in the 16th and 17th centuries, when arrivals from France, Spain and England first established settlements on land that had been occupied by native peoples. Explorers Lewis & Clark further opened up western lands to settlement, which ultimately led to the creation of the Indian reservation system. Despite the large number of Europeans residing in the United States, historical scholars mostly agree that indigenous lands were taken illegally through war, genocide and forced displacement. Despite the council’s decision, a native group called True Americans lambasted the move, claiming amnesty will only serve to reward lawbreakers. “They all need to be deported back to Europe,” John Dakota from True Americans said. “They came here illegally and took a giant crap on our land. They brought disease and alcoholism, stole everything we have because they were too lazy to improve and develop their own countries.” http://cityworldnews.com/native-american-amnesty/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarTim 3,456 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Nice joke....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AURaptor 1,121 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Now where's my free peyote ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiveEmElle 1,559 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Brilliant Satire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autigeremt 6,569 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I actually agree with the satire (I'm legally 1/4 Native American). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarTim 3,456 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I actually agree with the satire (I'm legally 1/4 Native American). :)/> Me too Brother!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKW 86 7,410 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Does 1/32nd count? When we elect Elizabeth Warren, she can issue all the docs at once? :wink: That was a fun to read piece tho. Kudos! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weegle777 78 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If you were born in America, you already are native American. We know nothing of Europe. This apologizing for someone else's actions that you had nothing to do with, is the biggest farce I have ever seen. I don't think it was right,by any means, what happened to native American tribes, but to hold someone accountable for something that they are innocent of is the height of ridiculousness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUloggerhead 2,225 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 It's pretty good satire, except that the native Americans never attempted to "document" any immigrants. Also, this statement: "Despite the large number of Europeans residing in the United States, historical scholars mostly agree that indigenous lands were taken illegally through war, genocide and forced displacement." Does this also apply to the indigenous peoples who took land through "war, genocide or forced displacement?" For instance, the Black Hills in South Dakota were originally Kiowa lands. Then, through war, genocide or forced displacement, we know the Black Hills region came under control of the Cheyenne and then finally, the Sioux. How many other forced displacements occurred throughout the history of North America where one superior culture supplanted another? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icanthearyou 4,462 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If you were born in America, you already are native American. We know nothing of Europe. This apologizing for someone else's actions that you had nothing to do with, is the biggest farce I have ever seen. I don't think it was right,by any means, what happened to native American tribes, but to hold someone accountable for something that they are innocent of is the height of ridiculousness. We should not be big enough to recognize what OUR ancestors did to Native Americans? Is that too being too PC? Why is the idea of a simple apology so abhorrent? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autigeremt 6,569 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If you were born in America, you already are native American. We know nothing of Europe. This apologizing for someone else's actions that you had nothing to do with, is the biggest farce I have ever seen. I don't think it was right,by any means, what happened to native American tribes, but to hold someone accountable for something that they are innocent of is the height of ridiculousness. We should not be big enough to recognize what OUR ancestors did to Native Americans? Is that too being too PC? Why is the idea of a simple apology so abhorrent? Apologies are no longer considered a meaningful way to express a condolence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TitanTiger 20,469 Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 If you were born in America, you already are native American. We know nothing of Europe. This apologizing for someone else's actions that you had nothing to do with, is the biggest farce I have ever seen. I don't think it was right,by any means, what happened to native American tribes, but to hold someone accountable for something that they are innocent of is the height of ridiculousness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiveEmElle 1,559 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If you were born in America, you already are native American. We know nothing of Europe. This apologizing for someone else's actions that you had nothing to do with, is the biggest farce I have ever seen. I don't think it was right,by any means, what happened to native American tribes, but to hold someone accountable for something that they are innocent of is the height of ridiculousness. Here's the thing, there has been no accountability for what happened to Native Americans in this country. These people were forcible removed from their homes by President Andrew Jackson's Indian Removal Act. They were placed on reservations with below standard livingconditions. Their children were taken from them and placed in boarding schools to "kill the Indian " in them. Then the U.S. government decided they wanted the reservation land so they passed the Dawes Act which took even more land from the Native Americans. Our government made treaty after treaty with these Native people and broke them repeatedly. Our country engaged in the genocide of its indigenous population and it's swept under the rug. That's the biggest farce of them all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homersapien 11,352 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If you were born in America, you already are native American. We know nothing of Europe. This apologizing for someone else's actions that you had nothing to do with, is the biggest farce I have ever seen. I don't think it was right,by any means, what happened to native American tribes, but to hold someone accountable for something that they are innocent of is the height of ridiculousness. Here's the thing, there has been no accountability for what happened to Native Americans in this country. These people were forcible removed from their homes by President Andrew Jackson's Indian Removal Act. They were placed on reservations with below standard livingconditions. Their children were taken from them and placed in boarding schools to "kill the Indian " in them. Then the U.S. government decided they wanted the reservation land so they passed the Dawes Act which took even more land from the Native Americans. Our government made treaty after treaty with these Native people and broke them repeatedly. Our country engaged in the genocide of its indigenous population and it's swept under the rug. That's the biggest farce of them all. And let's not forget those Native Americans had essentially assimilated and were peaceful American citizens. They were evacuated primarily because whites coveted their farms and lands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiveEmElle 1,559 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If you have ever seen James Cameron's film Avatar, it's eerily similar to the Native American removal due to another's desire for wealth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proud Tiger 4,261 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Elle......right on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiveEmElle 1,559 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'd absolutely love to know if Cameron was intentionally alluding to the NA's in his film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homersapien 11,352 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'd absolutely love to know if Cameron was intentionally alluding to the NA's in his film. Well, it's a theme that is common in human history. It's happening even today. I thought the more direct analogy of Avatar was to the rain forests. It wasn't just the indigenous people who were being displaced, it was their environment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autigeremt 6,569 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'd absolutely love to know if Cameron was intentionally alluding to the NA's in his film. Well, it's a theme that is common in human history. It's happening even today. I thought the more direct analogy of Avatar was to the rain forests. It wasn't just the indigenous people who were being displaced, it was their environment. I think it had to do more with the rain forest and the environment but it can be said for many human populations throughout known history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiveEmElle 1,559 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'd absolutely love to know if Cameron was intentionally alluding to the NA's in his film. Well, it's a theme that is common in human history. It's happening even today. I thought the more direct analogy of Avatar was to the rain forests. It wasn't just the indigenous people who were being displaced, it was their environment. It could be. Or did the tree represent gold that white settlers wanted on Indian Land. The Avatars culture is similar to Native Americans too, especially in the spirituality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUDub 11,131 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'd absolutely love to know if Cameron was intentionally alluding to the NA's in his film. Yes, he was. He was actually beating us over the head with it. Might as well have called it "DANCES WITH WOLVES: IN SPAAAAACE!!!" If you've never seen the Plinkett review for Avatar, I'd recommend giving it a watch. Prepare for vulgarity, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiveEmElle 1,559 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'd absolutely love to know if Cameron was intentionally alluding to the NA's in his film. Yes, he was. He was actually beating us over the head with it. Might as well have called it "DANCES WITH WOLVES: IN SPAAAAACE!!!" If you've never seen the Plinkett review for Avatar, I'd recommend giving it a watch. Prepare for vulgarity, though. I have simultaneously LMAO and rolled my eyes so far back in my head my hip dislocated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proud Tiger 4,261 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Elle....post a selfie for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AURaptor 1,121 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Elle....post a selfie for us. Are you telling her or asking her ? PLEASE would be nice , ya know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiveEmElle 1,559 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 PT, are you flirting with me? ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.