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Alabama Hires Charles Barkley As Head Basketball Coach


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Belated April fools day


The University of Alabama has concluded its coaching search and is set to announce Charles Barkley as its new head basketball coach on Wednesday.

It’s only been two weeks since Alabama fired Anthony Grant, but it looks like their search is over. Alabama will announce that former NBA and Auburn basketball superstar Charles Barkley is its new head basketball coach at a press conference Wednesday.

The move will come as a surprise to many as most thought Alabama was focused on Wichita State’s Gregg Marshall. “Gregg Marshall is a great coach, but Charles Barkley is bald and we all know bald guys are really good at basketball” said Alabama Athletic Director Bill Battle. (Lightly Buzzed reached out to Gregg Marshall’s hairstylist for a reply, but hasn’t received a response yet.)


“Of course I excited to basketball coach Alabama in basketball!” exclaimed Sir Charles. “I think this is another great step on my way to running for president or governor or maybe supreme court judge in 2016. I’ve already memorized seven of the ten commandments!”


Charles Barkley has always been known as an innovator and Alabama basketball can expect some changes under his leadership. One of the biggest changes will be the new Alabama basketball mascot. Alabama will of course still be the Crimson Tide, but they will also add a new mascot the “War Tide”. “I thank our new mascot is just great, it’s scary and giant like a monster or David Robinson’s penis” explained a wide eyed Barkley.


Barkley has already started to assemble his staff and says he will be bringing on former Phoenix Suns teammate Dan Majerle. We reached out to Majerle for comment and he said “I don’t know what Charles is talking about, I didn’t agree to be his assistant coach and I’m certainly not interested in that timeshare. I’ve asked him to stop calling my house multiple times, my kids are scared.”

Yes Alabama’s basketball future is certainly bright; Charles Barkley is bold choice for head basketball coach and this obvious April Fools joke of an article!

Upon finding out that this article was a total joke Barkley replied “Really? I already bought three houses in Tuscaloosa though, that’s turrible.”

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