Friday night buzzkill

[AUDub 11,137]

Seriously depressing. I has a sad.

Tolerance is everywhere: Gay marriage has even (sort of) hit Alabama, the state our bookie swore would be the last one to turn. As a counterpoint, Ron would like to introduce you to his hometown in Eastern Kentucky, population 3,200. The earliest memory he has of gay issues coming up was when the news showed two men kissing at a pride rally, and his parents weighed in.

"They outright said, 'All gays should be murdered, they are against God.' ... It was always, 'Gross, they should be killed.' My father was very fond of the idea of HIV/AIDS killing them all, too."

Ron's parents were typical for the area. He reckons most others in town felt the same way. The pair were religious Baptists, but no more devout than the average townsperson. They weren't activists or members of a hate group -- just purely casual advocates for genocide.

In high school, coming out didn't even seem like an option. No one was out, and Ron was already being called "f**" even without the courtesy of pre-labeling himself. "It didn't help that I was a scrawny video game nerd, either," he said. But it did help that he started dating girls, which discouraged attacks just long enough for him to graduate. He then went on to college in that utopia of open-mindedness known as slightly more urban Kentucky. There, he finally came out. And everything was just fine, if you stop reading riiiight ... now.

=================================

Three weeks before classes ended, Ron went home for laundry and to start the summer job search. He decided now was the time to come out to his mother. "After a semester of being completely honest to myself and everyone around me," he said, "it just didn't feel right to kinda go back into the closet." Plus, he'd met a guy online and planned to drive six hours to visit him over the summer, so he'd have to either come out or craft an elaborate cover story about having to drive the blocker car for a high-stakes beer haul to Texarkana.

"At first," Ron said, "she just kept saying there was no way I could be gay and talked about how I dated girls, I liked girls. She told me I couldn't be gay because it's evil. I would go to hell. I would get AIDS. She didn't raise me to be gay."

Before returning to campus, Ron got his mother to promise not to say anything. But a week later, he got a call from his older brother.

"You're gay?" said big brother. "Mom told dad. He's flipping the **** out."

Ron spent the next couple weeks trying to call home but getting no reply.

"Finally, about three days before school ended, my dad picked up and told me I wasn't welcome in his house anymore. And I was as good as dead to him. If I ever came back, he said, he would shoot me dead. 'Shoot me dead' being his exact words."

The two never saw or spoke to each other again.

[DKW 86 7,419]

I have heard and read this story over and over again lately.

It is beyond sad.

My son is my son, no mater what. Cannot imagine life without him or making him miserable for the rest of his life.