Piglet 0 Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 http://snltranscripts.jt.org/00/00dglimpse1.phtml A Glimpse Of Our Possible Future I President George W. Bush.....Will Ferrell Voice of Don Pardo: America, Election Day fast approaches, and with the Presidential Race still too close to call, "Saturday Night Live" would like to present "A Glimpse of our Possible Future". [ open on Scenario I ] Announcer: And now a Message From the President of the United States: George W. Bush. [ open on the Oval Office - beer cans on desk, socks hung on the lamp, a barbecue grill burning on his desk ] Voice of Advisor: Mr. President, get out there! President George W. Bush: [ from under his desk ] No! No, you can't make me! You're gonna yell at me again! Voice of Advisor: Mr. President! President George W. Bush: [ peeks out from under his desk ] No! I don't want to go out, it's too hard! Voice of Advisor: You're on, Sir! President George W. Bush: Awww.. [ jumps up and takes his seat ] Hey, America! So, how we all doing out there, huh? Yeah, not so good. I broke the Hoover Dam.. we had that war thing happen. But I mean, who ever heard of a Civil War, anyway? What is that? [ grabs a pair of binoculars, unscrews the lens, then pours alcohol from it into his mouth ] I have missed you, ol' buddy! [ pours it into his barbecue grill ] Whoo! I think we can agree, Americans, that these have been a difficult first two years of my presidency.. Voice of Advisor: You've been President for two weeks! President George W. Bush: Really? Oh, man! I told you, this is hard! Okay, listen.. I'm just gonna get this Address thing over with. As we assess the State of the American Union today, we have reason to hope, because.. [ takes out a map which shows California and Florida as islands, Texas in Communist Mexico, and the Great Lakes on fire ] Holy crap! When did all this happen?! Wow.. the Great Lakes are on fire - even I know that's not good. [ laughs ] Okay, America, we got a lot of problems. I ain't gonna lie to you. But with the help of Vice-President Dick Cheney.. Voice of Advisor: You killed him in a hunting accident! George W. Bush: Okay, fine! Not a problem. 'Cause I've been working hard, I got a plan that's gonna solve all of it - from the deficit, to foreign relations, to that hole in the sun. Two words, America: Ostrich Meat. Voice of Advisor: [ disgusted ] Oh, come on! [ exits Oval Office ] President George W. Bush: No, no, wait, wait! Hear me out. You see, everyone gets an ostrich.. and then you eat the ostrich, then you raise the ostrich.. that way, no more ostriches! We are trying to get rid of all the ostriches, right? Anyone? [ ball of fire erupts outside ] Aw, screw! That big tit building is on fire again - damn! Alright, sorry, folks.. I gotta take care of this.. [ stands up ] Come on, Blue! Here, boy! [ an ostrich ambles forward ] You all go on ahwad without me. And, in the meantime, "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!" Keep in mind, this was broadcast before election 2000...Who would have thought SNL would be the most accurate predicter in all the media? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUslug 1 Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 And how does this pertain to today's problems with the United States? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piglet 0 Posted September 11, 2005 Author Share Posted September 11, 2005 And how does this pertain to today's problems with the United States? 180417[/snapback] Well, you're enjoying your ostrich meat, aren't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny AU-92 0 Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Piglet, just wondering... are you on a first name basis with ALL the voices in your head? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasTiger 14,528 Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 http://snltranscripts.jt.org/00/00dglimpse1.phtml A Glimpse Of Our Possible Future I President George W. Bush.....Will Ferrell Voice of Don Pardo: America, Election Day fast approaches, and with the Presidential Race still too close to call, "Saturday Night Live" would like to present "A Glimpse of our Possible Future". [ open on Scenario I ] Announcer: And now a Message From the President of the United States: George W. Bush. [ open on the Oval Office - beer cans on desk, socks hung on the lamp, a barbecue grill burning on his desk ] Voice of Advisor: Mr. President, get out there! President George W. Bush: [ from under his desk ] No! No, you can't make me! You're gonna yell at me again! Voice of Advisor: Mr. President! President George W. Bush: [ peeks out from under his desk ] No! I don't want to go out, it's too hard! Voice of Advisor: You're on, Sir! President George W. Bush: Awww.. [ jumps up and takes his seat ] Hey, America! So, how we all doing out there, huh? Yeah, not so good. I broke the Hoover Dam.. we had that war thing happen. But I mean, who ever heard of a Civil War, anyway? What is that? [ grabs a pair of binoculars, unscrews the lens, then pours alcohol from it into his mouth ] I have missed you, ol' buddy! [ pours it into his barbecue grill ] Whoo! I think we can agree, Americans, that these have been a difficult first two years of my presidency.. Voice of Advisor: You've been President for two weeks! President George W. Bush: Really? Oh, man! I told you, this is hard! Okay, listen.. I'm just gonna get this Address thing over with. As we assess the State of the American Union today, we have reason to hope, because.. [ takes out a map which shows California and Florida as islands, Texas in Communist Mexico, and the Great Lakes on fire ] Holy crap! When did all this happen?! Wow.. the Great Lakes are on fire - even I know that's not good. [ laughs ] Okay, America, we got a lot of problems. I ain't gonna lie to you. But with the help of Vice-President Dick Cheney.. Voice of Advisor: You killed him in a hunting accident! George W. Bush: Okay, fine! Not a problem. 'Cause I've been working hard, I got a plan that's gonna solve all of it - from the deficit, to foreign relations, to that hole in the sun. Two words, America: Ostrich Meat. Voice of Advisor: [ disgusted ] Oh, come on! [ exits Oval Office ] President George W. Bush: No, no, wait, wait! Hear me out. You see, everyone gets an ostrich.. and then you eat the ostrich, then you raise the ostrich.. that way, no more ostriches! We are trying to get rid of all the ostriches, right? Anyone? [ ball of fire erupts outside ] Aw, screw! That big tit building is on fire again - damn! Alright, sorry, folks.. I gotta take care of this.. [ stands up ] Come on, Blue! Here, boy! [ an ostrich ambles forward ] You all go on ahwad without me. And, in the meantime, "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!" Keep in mind, this was broadcast before election 2000...Who would have thought SNL would be the most accurate predicter in all the media? 180311[/snapback] What they had right was the initial image of Bush as over his head. One day with a bullhorn and the overwhelming need to believe one's leader is competent went a long way to creating the myth of a "strong leader". The guy's an empty suit. That was evident to me during his six years as governor. After 9/11, I, too, hoped I had been wrong and joined the 90% who said they "approved" of the job he was doing. Reality set in pretty quickly, though. Now it appears most Americans are seeing it, too. Yeah, the Governor of Louisiana isn't a strong leader either. Those of us in the other 49 states, though, don't have to worry about that as much as we do our President. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rexbo 104 Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Nope, not a strong leader at all, just two horrible regimes toppled, and 50 million people now on the verge of moving from 3rd century barbarism to 21st century democracy. Not to mention the huge turnaround the US economy has made from the Clinton dot.com bubble bursting and the 9/11 affects. So, trade all of that for what we would have had; an economy run into the ground by Al Gore's priority of ending "Global Warming Today!", and a military stuck in port and on the ground with no spare parts, with no chance of responding to a 9/11 or a natural disaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasTiger 14,528 Posted September 13, 2005 Share Posted September 13, 2005 Nope, not a strong leader at all, just two horrible regimes toppled, and 50 million people now on the verge of moving from 3rd century barbarism to 21st century democracy. Not to mention the huge turnaround the US economy has made from the Clinton dot.com bubble bursting and the 9/11 affects. So, trade all of that for what we would have had; an economy run into the ground by Al Gore's priority of ending "Global Warming Today!", and a military stuck in port and on the ground with no spare parts, with no chance of responding to a 9/11 or a natural disaster. 180793[/snapback] Yes, our military can topple any regime. And yes, the economy sure has turned around. http://www.ppionline.org/ndol/print.cfm?contentid=252964 And Bush is still an empty suit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piglet 0 Posted September 13, 2005 Author Share Posted September 13, 2005 So, trade all of that for what we would have had; an economy run into the ground by Al Gore's priority of ending "Global Warming Today!", and a military stuck in port and on the ground with no spare parts, with no chance of responding to a 9/11 or a natural disaster. 180793[/snapback] Yup, the Bush economy is so great. So was the way we prevented 9/11. And our response to natural disaster just now was practically perfect in every way, for the Bush Administration is Republican and therefore incapable of doing wrong...it's the liberal media's fault he's at 38% popularity... Maybe Jenny's question about voices in the head should have been directed at you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rexbo 104 Posted September 14, 2005 Share Posted September 14, 2005 You guys really need to wake up if you think life is so terrible in the US; you have NO idea what the real world is like, nor do you know what the US was like in the days of Jimmy Carter. We are living in Utopia compared to our military and economic standing in the late 1970's. I guess Utopia for you is unemployment to be 0.00%, the minimum (and maximum) wage to be $100 an hour, helicopters swooping down in the eye of a hurricane to pick up survivors, and our President traveling around the world coddling brutal dictators... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasTiger 14,528 Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 You guys really need to wake up if you think life is so terrible in the US; you have NO idea what the real world is like, nor do you know what the US was like in the days of Jimmy Carter. We are living in Utopia compared to our military and economic standing in the late 1970's. I guess Utopia for you is unemployment to be 0.00%, the minimum (and maximum) wage to be $100 an hour, helicopters swooping down in the eye of a hurricane to pick up survivors, and our President traveling around the world coddling brutal dictators... 181219[/snapback] Actually, I've lowered the bar...Utopia for me would be you making sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piglet 0 Posted September 15, 2005 Author Share Posted September 15, 2005 You guys really need to wake up if you think life is so terrible in the US; you have NO idea what the real world is like, nor do you know what the US was like in the days of Jimmy Carter. We are living in Utopia compared to our military and economic standing in the late 1970's. I guess Utopia for you is unemployment to be 0.00%, the minimum (and maximum) wage to be $100 an hour, helicopters swooping down in the eye of a hurricane to pick up survivors, and our President traveling around the world coddling brutal dictators... 181219[/snapback] Actually, I've lowered the bar...Utopia for me would be you making sense. 181394[/snapback] Be careful what you wish for...one of my top ten nightmares is finding myself in a world where rexbo's version of things is the truth. For starters, Pi has been dumbed down to exactly 3.14, and I can't play pool because all the balls are cockeyed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bammanmr 0 Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 Yeah, rexbo we were sooooooooooooooo sick of a balanced budget, the lowest unemployment in 30 years, lowest welfare numbers since reagan took office for his second term and 8 years of economic growth. That's what we had when your boie took office and now just about the opposite is true. No worries though, Iraq is closer than ever to democracy!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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