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Why women are crabby


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For all you men on this board that are like my beloved Ranger12:

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us

wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks.

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

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Yeah. But on average we die 8 years earlier than you do. So I think you got the better end of the deal, hot stuff.

250915[/snapback]

You ain't gonna when this argument brother. Trust me, I 've already tried it. <_<

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Yeah. But on average we die 8 years earlier than you do. So I think you got the better end of the deal, hot stuff.

250915[/snapback]

You are right about one thing.. I am hot stuff.

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You are right about one thing.. I am hot stuff.

250943[/snapback]

:rolleyes: You guys know get I good idea of why I married her now don't ya?

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For all you men on this board that are like my beloved Ranger12:

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

     

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us

  wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks.

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

250914[/snapback]

Bitter? :lol:

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Heck, I think you've got the edge. If I had long legs, big boobs, and blonde hair, I'd rule the world.

250995[/snapback]

Mate, I don't even know ya, but odds are that such an image as that would be a might unsettling.

No offense. ;)

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Between Adam and Eve, who was the first to sin?

251018[/snapback]

Dude, I know you are not even going that route. Do you have any idea how many men have tried that argument and failed horribly? The argument is really not who sinned first, as a woman will tell you, but who was dumb enough to let the woman talk the man into sinning. Every woman I have every known has used that comeback when the question you raise is used. How do you comeback from that response? You can't. Then they will tell you that because of their sin, they had to be the one to suffer all the afflictions described in the original post, while us guys got off easy. Again, trying to debate with a woman is like trying to debate with a wall. I just bounces right off. :D

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Let's just clarify a few things...

1) I do believe that growing boobs and choosing to marry was not something that Eve suffered from, she had hers in a ready made model. So she did not have to go through that.

2) My name is not Eve, nor is it anything close. Had the Blonde Wasabi been in the garden that day, a talking snake would have been pelted with a large branch until it died or if per chance it had to opportunity to speak to me, a large piece of fruit would not have done me in. A real woman wants a piece of chocolate or a bowl of mashed potatoes.

3) Eve may have sinned first, but all sin is considered equal and you should personally be thankful that he didn't choose you to squeeze something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon. Face it, men can't handle it nor would they really want to. Go grow a kidney stone and I may feel a little sympathy but don't hold your breath.

4) I am not bitter about the things I go through or the thought of having to squeeze out Ranger's mini me. God may have curse women with painful issues, but he also was smart enough to give man the means to create medicines. I can go through childbirth and feel no pain, you my man must pass a stone with medicines that have the potentcy of water.

5) The post was to clarify crabbiness and I believe it did it's job.

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Heck, I think you've got the edge. If I had long legs, big boobs, and blonde hair, I'd rule the world.

250995[/snapback]

Well I got 2 out of the three because dynamite comes in small packages :big:

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Oh heck. You have done went and got my little blonde wife fired up. Once you get that 4'7" fireball going, look out! She ain't big, but she makes up for it in spunk. That is why I fell in love with her and married her. Sometimes I pay for that. :lol:

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Guest Tigrinum Major
DAMN,  I wish I could've been a woman!

251203[/snapback]

I always thought you were.

Damn these message boards and their anonymity.

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PRECH ON, MY SISTER!!! I have been trying to tell these two-brains-one-blood supply Neanderthals all that for years now, and you did it in one fell swoop.

Wasabi, you are my new best friend. Girlfriend, you totally rock. :hail:

Now me and you together, WE could rule the world... :big:

Wasabis rule.

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This thread reminds me of reasons 1 - 1,000,000 that I'm not getting married anytime soon. :D

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This thread reminds me of reasons 1 - 1,000,000 that I'm not getting married anytime soon.  :D

251684[/snapback]

The right woman would do you SO much good... ;)

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This thread reminds me of reasons 1 - 1,000,000 that I'm not getting married anytime soon.   :D

251684[/snapback]

The right woman would do you SO much good... ;)

251756[/snapback]

haha, Amen to that B)

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Now me and you together, WE could rule the world...  :big:

251678[/snapback]

I am going to try my best to see that does not happen for the sake of all manhood.

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Yeah. But on average we die 8 years earlier than you do. So I think you got the better end of the deal, hot stuff.

250915[/snapback]

You know why men die first?

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Because they WANT to.

/tip the veal and try your watress

//my gf did not find it funny either

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20 things you'll never hear a woman say.

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

3. Hooters for supper again? Awesome!

4. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

5. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

6. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?

7. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

8. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

9. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

10. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.

11. You are so much smarter than my father.

12. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

13. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

14. Let's subscribe to Maxim.

15. I'll be out painting the house.

16. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

17. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

19. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.

20. You need your sleep, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

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