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Dear ESPN, I am filing for divorce

I have carefully thought this through and I believe a divorce is our only resolution. I have been loyal and faithful to you and you have **** on me, cheated, lied, took 5 months to send me a check and you won’t let me see some of my friends anymore.

You took away David Aldridge and foisted Screaming A on me. From a thoughtful, insightful, coherent reporter to a screaming clown who is nothing less than a thug wannabe.

You finally began having blogs for some of your writers, three years after blogs became relevant, and you put them all on Insider. Boston Pete goes inside. So does Neyer. You give Joe Morgan a column and you refuse to put that Inside, thusly infecting millions of minds with his egotistical drivel and complete disregard for facts. He still thinks Billy Beane wrote Moneyball.

SportsCenter went from a highlight show to an hour of self-promotion of the preening anchors. Trey Wingo now hawks the ESPN Mobile phone that the WSJ says less than 10,000 have sold. (I can get what I need free from Google via text, thanks anyways.) Suzi is selling Chevys and Mayne is in an empty stadium denouncing the Gecko.

I remember Sunday nights with Patrick and Olberman being a smart, funny, hip program. There is nothing left on your networks that fits that description. Allowing Bonds on Bonds to air on your network (Barry owned a piece of the production company) eroded the last bit of credibility you had.

How you have managed to not **** up PTI is the only thing that amazes me at this point.

Simmons has lost major velocity on his fastball due to his Hollywood sell out. Skip Bayless shouldn’t be allowed to write a grocery list. Page 2 is a collaboration of some very unfunny, barely talented people.

Cold Pizza was a failure of previously unknown proportions, making Chevy Chase feel better about his show. You recently had Larry the Cable Guy on Cold Pizza because he voiced a car in the Disney movie Cars. Was Hillary Duff too busy for the show ?

And what's the latest ESPN original programming? Darts !!! ****ing Darts I guess with Domino season being over you had to find something to put on the air.

Your NFL soap opera show, whatever it was named, was pulled because you didn’t have the balls to look Tagliabue in the eye and stand your ground. If you thought the show was good then run it. If you were worried it was offensive then why bother to air it to begin with ?

I even used to like Chris Berman. I may have been the last one out there that did. There is no way he should be calling games, it is utter torture.

Some of the ones that got away from your evil grasp seem to be flourishing elsewhere. Jimmy Roberts, Robin Roberts, Gayle Gardner, Charlie Stenier.

The continual prostitution of air time.The silver bullet 6 pack of questions. The Budwiser hot seat. The Miller Lite moment of dead air. What next, today's beaning brought to you by Advil ? Webgems by Spiderman 3 ?

I loved you for a long time. I was devoted and caring. And now even your MLB gametracker is Inside. Well I don’t want to go Inside, frankly it scares me.

I just want to get away from you and not see your anchors pimping out the next ****ty Disney sports movie. Synergy my ass. “Daddy, I wanna race” “Daddy, I wanna race” “Daddy, I wanna race” “Daddy, I wanna race” “Daddy, I wanna race” “Daddy, I wanna race”.

My advice, hire Peter King because he will fit right in. And add about thirty more ombudsmen while you are at it. As far as I am concerned we are finished.

Posted by edwzipper


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I can't stand Stephen A. Smith, he is a screaming moronic jackass. I'm glad they haven't screwed with PTI because that is about the only thing I watch on ESPN other than games. I miss Ron Franklin and Gottfreid calling Saturday night games. They have really screwed up with their college football announcers, Bob Davie :huh: . Then they slap Lou Holtz up into the studio and all he does is drool and has some kind ax to grind with Auburn. Also the dyke that calls games on the duece is terrible, I hope she isn't calling the Wazzu game.

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I'll defend the worldwide leader on one point: Mike & Mike is a pretty good morning show (when both Mikes are actually there). Other than that, I'm with this guy. Stephen A. and Skip are pains-in-the-neck, Sportscenter is dull and Cold Pizza was never a great idea. You wouldn't even want actual cold pizza for breakfast all the dadgum time, y'know? And yeah, that ESPN2 crew gives a game the excitement of, say, a women's volleyball match. Worse than J-P's Dave Gang, and that's saying something.

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Mike and Mike are good and I miss Trev Alberts, at least he told you what he thought and wasn't ashamed if he was pulling for a team.

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