Husband and Wife Shopping

[Aubie16 1]

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.~ On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"~

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help With Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

[CCTAU 3,314]

Thank you. I needed a nice laugh.

[AUesquire 1]

A young man applies for and gets a sales job at the biggest department store in the world. They sell EVERYTHING you could imagine. At the end of the first day, his manager asks him how many sales he made. He replied, "Oh, I made 1 sale today."

"What?" said the manager. "I'll have you know that each and every sales rep in this store averages 15-20 sales every single day...and you made one?"

"Yes, but it was for $1.2 million dollars" answered the salesman.

With that, the manager's jaw dropped and he called the rest of the sales crew together and announced that this first day salesman had made one sale for $1.2 mil and we all just have to hear how it was done.

"Well, it's like this", said the young man. "Me and this customer were talking about fishing hooks and I asked what he was fishing for and he told me he was going after catfish at the river. I told him I'd been fishing that river all my life and you need a boat to get away from the shore where the big ones are. We were looking at the John Boats and got to talking about deep sea fishing and how it was always a dream of mine and he agreed that it was his fantasy too to go fishing every day on the high seas"

He went on, "Well, next thing you know, we're looking at our deep sea fishing boats and this guy decides on the biggest one we've got. I asked him what he was going to pull it with and he thought for a minute and said I was right, he'd better upgrade to the new F-350 to be able to pull this rig. Then we went back and outfitted him with all the latest deep sea fishing gear. We then went over to the travel department and set him up with a dream fishing excursion off of Key West."

The sales team stood there in awe and the manager said, "Boys, take note. A customer leaves with $1.2 mil in merchandise after coming in here looking for fishing hooks."

"Oh, no" said the salesman. "He didn't come in looking for hooks. He came in and asked me where the Extra-absorbent Playtex tampons were. I told him "You're weekend is defintely screwed so you may as well go fishing."