A new poster here ... why you simply can't take the high road...

[Machete Man 0]

Ok, let me preface this by the fact that I have formed the following opinion after about 40 years of being an AU fan.

There is a very simple way to settle the question of why one shouldn't take the high road - EVER - with a bammer.  I will enlighten you newbies...

First, open your chest of drawers and take out an AU shirt, or go to the closet and find your lucky game day hat with the AU logo.  Put on either of these articles of clothing and proceed to your car parked in the driveway.  Start the engine, place the car in drive, and begin your journey to any major grocery store chain in the Birmingham area.

Upon arrival, set your stopwatch, click to begin recording the time, and proceed toward the store as if to shop around for 20 minutes or so.  Should you actually make it into the front sliding glass door before getting run over by a 1970 rusted out pickup with expired tags, driven by a look-a-like "Darlin" brother from the Andy Griffith show, and giant cursive A on the cracked back windshield, you have surpassed the odds. 

Upon entry, set your course toward the produce aisle and be on the lookout for the "confrontation".  It will surely come.  You don't have to speak a word, don't have to make eye contact, or do anything but push your cart.  But beware, the woodwork is about to come alive, dispensing crimson idiots like the graveyard in "Night of the Living Dead". 

If the 60 year old, beehive sportin, nasty short wearin beauty with the UA keychain and bright red fake nails doesn't abuse you, just hang on.  The big mouth, beer gut hangin, ballheaded jerk who learned to whisper in a sawmill, will surely line you up in his mental scope.

They can't help themselves.  They will have to say something abusive to you.  Nevermind that you go to Sunday School, teach kids to be respectful of others, and would never confront somebody you don't even know.  "Don't matter" - you're the enemy of the Tawd.  They invented football, have a patent on the game, and by God, nobody gets in their way.  So don't come into Bammerham disrespectin the Bahr with that War Chicken emblem.  That's just the way it is.

Once you hear, "Why you pullin for that bunch?" the first time, be sure to click the stopwatch. It will happen right after you see the skinny guy in his teens, in his game day jersey, trying to buy beer.  If you are lucky, maybe you will break the record and actually make it to the rack of magazines chocked full of articles about how bammer's back, Satan is God, and how it is obvious they are on track to win another recrutin championship.  After all, is there really any reason to play this season? McElroy is back and Julio is better than Jerry Rice ever thought to be.  McClain was decent, but he's no Hightower you know.

Oh sure, the names have changed, but the story is the same... EVERY year for the last 40.  They have no shame.  They are a bunch of braggarts that can never possibly receive enough humility.  Not at work, in the classroom, at the grocery store, or yes... even in church.  You on the other hand, are whale poop.  You have got to be put in your place.  It's their civic duty.  CheeseDip can't hold a candle to Saban. 

Taking the high road only applies when dealing with people - not bammers.  Your stopwatch probably reads about 27 seconds. 

[Weegle777 78]

Welcome brother and WELL SAID! WDE!!!!!!!

[augolf1716 22,032]

Well for a first post I thing you got your point across. Have you taken your machete to any of those turds at Wal-Mart? Well said Machete Man. Welcome to AE and post often.

[au_weagle 0]

Good lord you read that? Its so long.

[paheadley 0]

Great post! 

[BiggbAUler 0]

That is the truth if it has ever been told. I can't tell you how many times I've had Bama fans feel the need to say something.

[bigbird 60,968]

nice post.

[Britt in GA 53]

Good lord you read that? Its so long.

When you don't have to sound out every syllable when reading, it doesn't take that long.  Nice first post Machete Man.

[Guest gkc81]

And the people said, Amen.

[AuburnEngineer 0]

Welcome....are you relieved to get that off your chest?  :laugh:

It was so true!!  Do Post Often!

[ausoldiergrad 57]

I will have to try that next time I am in the B'ham area.  Being from the Auburn/Opelika area, we always had the Crimson Turds outnumbered. 

[norcuron 35]

Nice post and welcome friend to AE!

I dont mind the BS talk from the turds, I can sit and talk smak with them all day.

I wear my AU gear all the time. If Im not in scrubs , Im in AU gear. (Its an easy gift for everyone in my family. for Christmass, birthday , Father's day and anytime)

Wear your AU gear loud and proud brother!

WDE!

Less than a month till football

[kAmU 1]

Ok, let me preface this by the fact that I have formed the following opinion after about 40 years of being an AU fan.

There is a very simple way to settle the question of why one shouldn't take the high road - EVER - with a bammer.  I will enlighten you newbies...

First, open your chest of drawers and take out an AU shirt, or go to the closet and find your lucky game day hat with the AU logo.  Put on either of these articles of clothing and proceed to your car parked in the driveway.  Start the engine, place the car in drive, and begin your journey to any major grocery store chain in the Birmingham area.

Upon arrival, set your stopwatch, click to begin recording the time, and proceed toward the store as if to shop around for 20 minutes or so.  Should you actually make it into the front sliding glass door before getting run over by a 1970 rusted out pickup with expired tags, driven by a look-a-like "Darlin" brother from the Andy Griffith show, and giant cursive A on the cracked back windshield, you have surpassed the odds. 

Upon entry, set your course toward the produce aisle and be on the lookout for the "confrontation".  It will surely come.  You don't have to speak a word, don't have to make eye contact, or do anything but push your cart.  But beware, the woodwork is about to come alive, dispensing crimson idiots like the graveyard in "Night of the Living Dead". 

If the 60 year old, beehive sportin, nasty short wearin beauty with the UA keychain and bright red fake nails doesn't abuse you, just hang on.  The big mouth, beer gut hangin, ballheaded jerk who learned to whisper in a sawmill, will surely line you up in his mental scope.

They can't help themselves.  They will have to say something abusive to you.  Nevermind that you go to Sunday School, teach kids to be respectful of others, and would never confront somebody you don't even know.  "Don't matter" - you're the enemy of the Tawd.  They invented football, have a patent on the game, and by God, nobody gets in their way.  So don't come into Bammerham disrespectin the Bahr with that War Chicken emblem.  That's just the way it is.

Once you hear, "Why you pullin for that bunch?" the first time, be sure to click the stopwatch. It will happen right after you see the skinny guy in his teens, in his game day jersey, trying to buy beer.   If you are lucky, maybe you will break the record and actually make it to the rack of magazines chocked full of articles about how bammer's back, Satan is God, and how it is obvious they are on track to win another recrutin championship.  After all, is there really any reason to play this season? McElroy is back and Julio is better than Jerry Rice ever thought to be.  McClain was decent, but he's no Hightower you know.

Oh sure, the names have changed, but the story is the same... EVERY year for the last 40.  They have no shame.  They are a bunch of braggarts that can never possibly receive enough humility.  Not at work, in the classroom, at the grocery store, or yes... even in church.  You on the other hand, are whale poop.  You have got to be put in your place.  It's their civic duty.  CheeseDip can't hold a candle to Saban. 

Taking the high road only applies when dealing with people - not bammers.   Your stopwatch probably reads about 27 seconds. 

thank you for this! fits the description of the everyday routine in wonderful marion county, alabama as well!

[kevon67 2,368]

Welcome and War Eagle.

I would rather eat whale poop, than be satan's disciple!

Saban= Satan, does that mean the players he cuts are considered the "Devil's Rejects" 

[bigbird 60,968]

Good lord you read that? Its so long.

When you don't have to sound out every syllable when reading, it doesn't take that long.  Nice first post Machete Man.

:laugh:

[berrytgr 0]

Good lord you read that? Its so long.

Please tell me you are not an AU graduate.

[AUFan1 0]

No need to take the high road when you have a machete!  :laugh:

[The SandMntTiger 9]

Excellent post sir! Instead of Machete Man you should maybe consider the name Hammer Man cause you have nailed it.

[WarNole 141]

Most of the bama fans are like wet bicycle seats,

they both chap your behind.

[around4ever 4,139]

Great post MM.  I know exactly what you mean.  I wear my AU stuff all the time and love to irritate the turds.  They seem offended that I have the stones to wear that in public.   7 out of the last 10.   WDE Forever!!1  

[BustemBigBlue 222]

So true. It does seem to have gotten worse since their recent success though. When we had the streak going only about half of them felt the need to approach strangers wearing AU gear and make stupid comments. Now it's more like 90%. If I had a nickel for every time I've been at Wal-Mart or Sams and had a redneck looking individual approach me and say "yer wearin the wrong shirt"

What is your normal response to these encounters? I generally just smile or laugh and walk away.

[Tigerbelle 5,299]

So true. It does seem to have gotten worse since their recent success though. When we had the streak going only about half of them felt the need to approach strangers wearing AU gear and make stupid comments. Now it's more like 90%. If I had a nickel for every time I've been at Wal-Mart or Sams and had a redneck looking individual approach me and say "yer wearin the wrong shirt"

What is your normal response to these encounters? I generally just smile or laugh and walk away.

The last time someone told me I was wearing the wrong shirt....I said.."well if it's not the shirt you'd wear, then I'm sure I'm wearing the right one", but I knew the guy real well.

But smiling, shaking your head and walking away is the smartest thing to do. That's what I normally do. It makes them look petty and foolish.

[augolf1716 22,032]

So true. It does seem to have gotten worse since their recent success though. When we had the streak going only about half of them felt the need to approach strangers wearing AU gear and make stupid comments. Now it's more like 90%. If I had a nickel for every time I've been at Wal-Mart or Sams and had a redneck looking individual approach me and say "yer wearin the wrong shirt"

What is your normal response to these encounters? I generally just smile or laugh and walk away.

I just shoot them and be done with it.

[around4ever 4,139]

So true. It does seem to have gotten worse since their recent success though. When we had the streak going only about half of them felt the need to approach strangers wearing AU gear and make stupid comments. Now it's more like 90%. If I had a nickel for every time I've been at Wal-Mart or Sams and had a redneck looking individual approach me and say "yer wearin the wrong shirt"

What is your normal response to these encounters? I generally just smile or laugh and walk away.

The last time someone told me I was wearing the wrong shirt....I said.."well if it's not the shirt you'd wear, then I'm sure I'm wearing the right one", but I knew the guy real well.

But smiling, shaking your head and walking away is the smartest thing to do. That's what I normally do. It makes them look petty and foolish.

Smiling and walking always is the best thing to do.  Start laughing and get a few feet away from them and bend over holding your stomach laughing is always fun too.  Sometimes I can't help myself and I have to tell them that they have some sh*# or something on their shirt or cap.  They always look.  It never has failed.   

[Guest WarTiger]

Ok, let me preface this by the fact that I have formed the following opinion after about 40 years of being an AU fan.

There is a very simple way to settle the question of why one shouldn't take the high road - EVER - with a bammer.  I will enlighten you newbies...

First, open your chest of drawers and take out an AU shirt, or go to the closet and find your lucky game day hat with the AU logo.  Put on either of these articles of clothing and proceed to your car parked in the driveway.  Start the engine, place the car in drive, and begin your journey to any major grocery store chain in the Birmingham area.

Upon arrival, set your stopwatch, click to begin recording the time, and proceed toward the store as if to shop around for 20 minutes or so.  Should you actually make it into the front sliding glass door before getting run over by a 1970 rusted out pickup with expired tags, driven by a look-a-like "Darlin" brother from the Andy Griffith show, and giant cursive A on the cracked back windshield, you have surpassed the odds. 

Upon entry, set your course toward the produce aisle and be on the lookout for the "confrontation".  It will surely come.  You don't have to speak a word, don't have to make eye contact, or do anything but push your cart.  But beware, the woodwork is about to come alive, dispensing crimson idiots like the graveyard in "Night of the Living Dead". 

If the 60 year old, beehive sportin, nasty short wearin beauty with the UA keychain and bright red fake nails doesn't abuse you, just hang on.  The big mouth, beer gut hangin, ballheaded jerk who learned to whisper in a sawmill, will surely line you up in his mental scope.

They can't help themselves.  They will have to say something abusive to you.  Nevermind that you go to Sunday School, teach kids to be respectful of others, and would never confront somebody you don't even know.  "Don't matter" - you're the enemy of the Tawd.  They invented football, have a patent on the game, and by God, nobody gets in their way.  So don't come into Bammerham disrespectin the Bahr with that War Chicken emblem.  That's just the way it is.

Once you hear, "Why you pullin for that bunch?" the first time, be sure to click the stopwatch. It will happen right after you see the skinny guy in his teens, in his game day jersey, trying to buy beer.   If you are lucky, maybe you will break the record and actually make it to the rack of magazines chocked full of articles about how bammer's back, Satan is God, and how it is obvious they are on track to win another recrutin championship.  After all, is there really any reason to play this season? McElroy is back and Julio is better than Jerry Rice ever thought to be.  McClain was decent, but he's no Hightower you know.

Oh sure, the names have changed, but the story is the same... EVERY year for the last 40.  They have no shame.  They are a bunch of braggarts that can never possibly receive enough humility.  Not at work, in the classroom, at the grocery store, or yes... even in church.  You on the other hand, are whale poop.  You have got to be put in your place.  It's their civic duty.  CheeseDip can't hold a candle to Saban. 

Taking the high road only applies when dealing with people - not bammers.   Your stopwatch probably reads about 27 seconds.