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Man Laws


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1. A man should never watch anything on the SOAP channel or Lifetime Channel. Unless, he is forced to by his wife or girlfriend.

2. A man should never wear pink. The old saying that "real men wear pink" is a load of crap.

3. A man should always be well versed in Auburn football and any other sport that is significant. When I mean significant I mean sports like football, basketball, and baseball. If not, his man law license could be revoked until further notice.

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1)  If you walk into a bathroom with urinals A, B, and C, by default, if noone is there, you have options A and C.  Selecting B makes you gay.  Very gay.

2)  If you enter the bathroom and someone is using urinal (A or C, if they are on B, see #1), by default, you must choose the urinal farthest away from the OP (original pisser).  Example, if an OP is holed up at C, and you select B, you are very gay.  EXTREMELY GAY.

3)  Also, if you can smell your own deuce, so can everyone else.  Courtesy flush every 60 seconds.  Nothing more, nothing less. 

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Here are some laws that I came up with a while back:

1. If you wear pink, you might be metrosexual

2. If you have a facebook page, and you have flair on it, you might be a metrosexual.

3. If you get manicures or pedicures, you might be metrosexual. 

4. If you watch figureskating and you enjoy it, you might be metrosexual. 

5. If you have more hair products than your wife, you might be metrosexual. 

5. If your bathroom products take up more room than a shoebox, you might be metrosexual.

6. If you have to buy razors too often because you shave your legs, you might be metrosexual. 

7. If you wear earrings and you are not in a rockband or have a Spanish galleon with a skull and crossbones flag flying on the mast parked in your front yard, you might be metrosexual.

8. If you watched the "Notebook" and it was your idea and not your wife's idea, you might be metrosexual. 

9. If "Lifetime" is one of your favorite channels, you might be metrosexual. 

10. If you have a "Man purse", you might be metrosexual. 

11. If the smell of a lockerroom is offensive to you, you might be metrosexual. 

12. If you know who Barbara Streisand is, and don't know who Dick Butkus is, you might be metrosexual. 

13. If women trust your opinion on fashion, you might be metrosexual. 

14.  If you think football players wear a girdle to help them look slimmer, you might be metrosexual.

15. And finally, if your wife can benchpress more weight than you can, you might be metrosexual.  

 

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[size=20pt]A real man would never go to a Barry Manilow concert.[/size]

Unless he knew what was waiting on him from his wife when he got her home.  :thumbsup: Yall say what you want about my sacrifice, all I will say is that it was a gooooood night when we got home!
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[size=20pt]A real man would never go to a Barry Manilow concert.[/size]

Unless he knew what was waiting on him from his wife when he got her home.  :thumbsup: Yall say what you want about my sacrifice, all I will say is that it was a gooooood night when we got home!

Do tell so what other concerts have been ASK to go to so you could have a good night.

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[size=20pt]A real man would never go to a Barry Manilow concert.[/size]

Unless he knew what was waiting on him from his wife when he got her home.  :thumbsup: Yall say what you want about my sacrifice, all I will say is that it was a gooooood night when we got home!

Do tell so what other concerts have been ASK to go to so you could have a good night.

That was it, I swore I would never again torture myself again like that just for the marital fruit!
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[size=20pt]A real man would never go to a Barry Manilow concert.[/size]

Unless he knew what was waiting on him from his wife when he got her home.  :thumbsup: Yall say what you want about my sacrifice, all I will say is that it was a gooooood night when we got home!

Do tell so what other concerts have been ASK to go to so you could have a good night.

That was it, I swore I would never again torture myself again like that just for the marital fruit!

So you sleep by yourself now?

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The Ultimate Man Law:

NEVER under any circumstances cockblock another dude from scoring.

The resulting penalty shall be:

Termination of his Man status and being labeled as many names that cannot be expressed on this web site. The end.

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1)  If you walk into a bathroom with urinals A, B, and C, by default, if noone is there, you have options A and C.  Selecting B makes you gay.  Very gay.

2)  If you enter the bathroom and someone is using urinal (A or C, if they are on B, see #1), by default, you must choose the urinal farthest away from the OP (original pisser).  Example, if an OP is holed up at C, and you select B, you are very gay.  EXTREMELY GAY.

3)  Also, if you can smell your own deuce, so can everyone else.  Courtesy flush every 60 seconds.  Nothing more, nothing less. 

A bad experience in the restroom??  :-X

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Alright, from here on out, I will be taking the Eddie Murphy stance on the Manilow thing: It wasn't me.

What do you mean by that statement "the Manilow thing"  :-X

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