TitanTiger 20,483 Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 Dear Diary, I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do." One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it right now, I just want you to hold me for a while." I said, "WHAT????!!!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear, "You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman." I am thinking, "What was your first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to take all three. She wanted matching shoes, I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelry dept. where she talks me into a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one sandwich short of a picnic. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said it was ok. She was almost sexually excited from all of this. You should have seen her face when she said, "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like buying all of this stuff right now." You should have seen her face...it went completely blank and ashen. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to hold this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man." I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
channonc 466 Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandyclawedtiger 206 Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 You got brass ones bro. If you need a place to stay a couple days till she cools off let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keoson7 28 Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Me and my wife have an understanding. I do what I want, and she understands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubie16 1 Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 holy crap that the funniest thing i've ever seen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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