Petition for Brodie's eligibility

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A friend sent this to me....it is hilarious!!!!

COUNTY OF TUSCALOOSA §

                                                     §

STATE OF ALABAMA              §

Petition of Special Eligibility

Submitted to: NCAA Eligibility Committee

WHEREAS the University of Alabama, by virtue of the NCAA Infractions Committee, has been forced to play the sport of football by the rules for the past four years, and

WHEREAS Michael Shula, as a part of his coaching contract, has, as a condition of employment, been forced and otherwise obligated to engage the services of Brodie Croyle as “the” Quarterback of the University of Alabama Crimson Tide Football Team, regardless of his physical, mental or athletic ability to play the position, and

WHEREAS The Board of Trustees of the University of Alabama, the Athletic Department of the University of Alabama, The Paul Finebaum Radio Network and ESPN have earnestly and eagerly supported and sponsored Brodie Croyle for the Heisman Trophy Award since puberty and

WHEREAS Brodie Croyle, despite the tremendous call to worship, has miserably failed to bring the “#12 Namath/Stabler” splendor and glory to the once powerful program and has failed to win any national trophy, has failed to be named to the any All-American Team and has failed to receive any notable conference or national recognition and

WHEREAS Brodie Croyle is the only University of Alabama quarterback to lead his Crimson Tide Football Team to four consecutive defeats against their most rivaled foe.

NOW THEREFORE, by virtue of this document and the signatures contained herewith,  BE IT RESOLVED that Brodie Croyle be granted a Special Waiver for one (1) additional year of NCAA Football Eligibility at The University of Alabama.

IN ACCORDANCE with NCAA Rules and Regulations, a document of this type must contain the signatures of Eighty-Five Thousand (85,000) Auburn Fans and One (1) Alabama Fan.

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►SPECIAL NOTE: THIS DOCUMENT WAS CIRCULATED AT JORDON-HARE STADIUM ON SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2005.  ALL 85,000 AUBURN SIGNATURES WERE OBTAINED IN A MATTER OF MINUTES.  ALL THAT REMAINS IS THE LONE SIGNATURE OF ONE ALABAMA FAN. 

PLEASE HELP TRY TO FIND ONE ALABAMA FAN WHO WILL SIGN THIS PETITION SO THAT “BAMA’S BELOVED BRODIE” CAN HAVE ONE MORE SHOT AT EXTENDING THE INCREDIBLE SACK RECORD THAT WAS SET LAST SATURDAY.  NEXT YEAR’S HEISMAN IS ON THE LINE.  THE NCAA DEADLINE IS DECEMBER 1, 2005.