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"The Onion" preseason poll


DaddyBoyAU

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The Onion posted their top ten preseason poll. - Language Warning -

2011 College Football Preseason Poll

With college football season almost upon us, it's time to take a look at where the top teams rank in the preseason polls.

* 1. Oklahoma: Not a bad team, but pretty obviously here because the coaches and reporters lack imagination

* 2. Alabama: Somebody called them up and asked if they're still a really good team, and they said yes

* 3. Oregon: LaMichael James a leading candidate to take Heisman Trophy, be forced to return it in five years

* 4. Florida State: The Seminoles have proven themselves worthy of a top-10 ranking by—wait, nobody has proven anything. The season hasn't even started. How does any of this matter in any way imaginable?

* 5. Boise State: Cue complaining in 3…2…1…

* 6. Florida: Several former backups who are stepping into starting roles have plenty of losing experience from last year to draw from and try to do the opposite of

* 7. Auburn: The Tigers have lost far too much talent this year to qualify for a bowl title they will later be stripped of

* 8. Arkansas: Just because star running back Knile Davis is out for the season doesn’t mean the Hogs can’t be ranked in the top five; it has more to do with the fact that they just aren’t as good as those other teams.

* 9. Wisconsin: Pound for pound, this team weighs the most pounds of any in NCAA football

* 10. Michigan: Actually not even in anyone's top 25, and also, f*** them

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