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My Plan for a True National Champ


Guest Tigrinum Major

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Guest Tigrinum Major

Everyone knows that the “system†(I use the term loosely) that we use for determining a “national champion†in college football is imperfect. Everyone has solutions that they think will work. Unfortunately, until the NCAA abandons the bowls for any kind of playoff (they will not work due to travel issues with playoff teams, think about it, OU fans will not travel to Jacksonville, then Miami, then Pasadena for a three week stretch) and puts on a very lucrative post-season playoff, we will never have a viable system. With that in mind, I present to you my dream landscape for college football. (I told y’all earlier that I had way too much time on my hands.)

The plan is simple, an eight team playoff at the end of the regular season. How do we get to eight? Glad you asked:

First, one hundred and seventeen teams are too many. We start by including the teams from the major conferences:

SEC, Big Televen, Big XII (anyone else always think of a clock when they see this conference's name?), Big East, Pac-10 and ACC, you’re in automatically.

Next, we eliminate some schools based on the fact that you historically suck (no whining if you school is selected by the committee of me. If you want to play with the big boys, beat one from time to time.) Therefore, the following schools are out:

Akron

Arkansas State

Buffalo

Central Michigan

Eastern Michigan

Idaho

Kent State

Louisiana-Lafayette

Louisiana-Monroe

Middle Tennessee State

UNLV

Nevada

New Mexico

New Mexico State

Ohio

San Diego State

San Jose State

South Florida

Toledo

Utah State

Western Michigan

That leaves us with 96 schools, which is divided very neatly by six (new conferences) with sixteen teams each.

The first new conference is the Kudzu conference, made up of those schools who would like to be Ivy League, but due to geography or academic standing, fail to qualify. The members of the Kudzu Conference are as follows:

Vanderbilt

Stanford

Army

Navy

Air Force

Duke

North Carolina

Virginia

Georgia Tech

Baylor

Purdue

Rice

Rutgers

Wake Forest

Norte Dame

Northwestern

While some of these schools have had great success in the past, they have been left in the dust as they have failed to adapt to the modern college football landscape. The conference champion is decided each year by an NCAA committee that always chose Norte Dame. The conference champion is the number eight seed in the post season playoffs.

The next new conference is the Anti-Bama Conference, made up of mid-major teams that have beaten Alabama in upsets or whose mere existence upsets the Board of Trustees of the University of Alabama. (Hey, I’m an Auburn fan, I’m obsessed with the Tide.) The members of the Anti-Bama Conference are:

UAB

Louisiana Tech

Boston College

Central Florida

Hawaii

Memphis

Southern Miss

TCU

Tulane

Troy State

Missouri

Minnesota

Northern Illionois

Syracuse

UCLA

Maryland

Not a bad lineup, but one that contains also rans and never will bes. The conference champions does not qualify for the postseason playoffs due to the fact that they haven’t beaten anyone during the season.

The next conference is the Fruits and Nuts Conference. Mainly made up of schools from Blue states. Members of the Fruits and Nuts Conference are:

Fresno State

Cal

Oregon

Oregon State

Washington

Washington State

Iowa

Iowa State

Wisconsin

Illinois

UConn

Pitt

Temple

Michigan State

Ball State (thrown in with the Fruits because most people don’t know where it is anyway)

Marshall (see Ball State)

Finally, a viable lineup of decent talent. Conference championship is determined by the winner of the championship game pitting a team from Washington and a team from Iowa each year. Conference champion is seeded number six in the postseason playoff.

Fourth conference is the Leftover Conference. Actually, this is the last conference lineup to be determined, but they are listed as fourth because I want to do so. Leftover Conference members are:

Boise State

Tulsa

Bowling Green

Cincinnati

Colorado State

East Carolina

Houston

Indiana

Kansas

Miami of Ohio

North Texas

SMU

UTEP

Utah

West Virginia

Wyoming

Conference champion is determined by which team has the hot coaching name that will immediately bolt for greener pastures after his team is beaten in the first round of the playoffs. Conference champion qualifies as the number seven seed in the postseason playoffs.

Fifth conference is the Cigar Conference, as in “Close, but no…†These are teams that are on the cusp of being a traditional power, but due to time or other criteria, do not quite make it. Cigar Conference members are:

Florida State

Louisville

Ole Miss

Mississippi State

Texas Tech

Arizona

Arizona State

Oklahoma State

South Carolina

Virginia Tech

Brigham Young

Colorado

Kansas State

Kentucky

Maryland

Missouri

Conference champion is determined by love from the media and qualifies for the fifth seed in the postseason playoff.

Last conference is Dixie Conference, made up of traditional football powers from the Deep South and a few select schools from other states. NCAA protests the use of the name Dixie, but new conference is too powerful and backs the NCAA into a corner of Maine and threatens to take all the playoff money. Requirements for entry include playing football for at least 75 years and having at least one national championship. Dixie Conference members (with divisional ties) are:

Teams I Like

Auburn

LSU

Georgia

Florida

Tennessee

Texas A&M

Clemson

Miami

Teams I Loathe

Alabama

Oklahoma

Ohio State

Arkansas

Texas

USC

Nebraska

Michigan

Auburn barely squeaks in on the strength of their 1957 AP national championship. Alabama protests until the conference office threatens to replace the Tigers with Florida State, even they do not meet the time requirements. Bama backs down when they are faced with the possibility of facing Bobby Bowden each year and having to listen how he surpassed Bryant as the winningest coach in college football. Conference champion is determined by a round robin regular season schedule and selection by a committee made up of me. Conference champion, second, third, and fourth place finishers receive the top four seeds in the postseason playoffs.

Is any of this too much to ask?

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Next, we eliminate some schools based on the fact that you historically suck (no whining if you school is selected by the committee of me.  If you want to play with the big boys, beat one from time to time.)  Therefore, the following schools are out:

Akron

Arkansas State

Buffalo

Central Michigan

Eastern Michigan

Idaho

Kent State

Louisiana-Lafayette

Louisiana-Monroe

Middle Tennessee State

UNLV

Nevada

New Mexico

New Mexico State

Ohio

San Diego State

San Jose State

South Florida

Toledo

Utah State

Western Michigan

Where is South Carolina? :big:

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Guest Tigrinum Major
Interesting read, but.....

Mississippi State on the cusp of being a traditional power?  :headscratch:

176083[/snapback]

My plan, my call. :poke: Actually, I like the Bulldogs more than any other SEC West team and really think that Croom will have them beating teams on a regular basis in about three years.

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I have a problem with New Mexico being included in the teams that suck. The Lobos have had a winning record the past 3 seasons, gone to bowl games, and defeated Texas Tech last season which trounced California in the Holiday Bowl. The Lobo defense has also ranked in the top 30 the past 3 seasons. I thought New Mexico played Utah tougher than any other team last season, at least the defense showed up.

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Guest Tigrinum Major
I have a problem with New Mexico being included in the teams that suck. The Lobos have had a winning record the past 3 seasons, gone to bowl games, and defeated Texas Tech last season which trounced California in the Holiday Bowl. The Lobo defense has also ranked in the top 30 the past 3 seasons. I thought New Mexico played Utah tougher than any other team last season, at least the defense showed up.

176220[/snapback]

One reason they got included was because of the following event:

When we played either NM State during the 1993 season, I spent most of that year at Fort Bliss, Texas and the only game I got to listen to was the NM State game on teh radio (I was able to make it home for the Bama game.) The announcers were amazed that Auburn fans cheered when the Bama score was announced (LSU beat them that day) and commented how the fans from NM and NM State cheered for each other all the time.

If you don't understand disliking a rival, you don't deserve to be in one of my superconferences.

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Guest Tigrinum Major
Wow....exactly, how long did it take for you to do all of that?

176224[/snapback]

It took me from my lunch hour until about 5 yesterday afternoon. However, total working time took about 45 minutes.

Yes, everyone, I am a loser with no life besides this forum...

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Obviously that format is fine and dandy for us as Auburn fans, and basically anyone in the dixie conference. But I don't like it because it is actually far more biased than the BCS. It puts lots of teams at a huge disadvantage, and tells other teams that you are not allowed to be in the playoffs. Great teams this decade could consistently put up losing seasons the next, and a losing program could rise into a super power. It really kinda reminds of me of albama fans, "we were once, we get to be great forever and everyone else automatically sucks". It was a fun read though.

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"kudzu" conference. Who couldn't love that!?

Great post. I needed the chuckle. Plus, your idea makes as much, if not MORE, sense that what we have in place today!

WAR EAGLE....Hurry NIP Hurry ! ! ! :au:

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