Tigermike 3,050 Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. * On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). * On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?) * On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how???) * On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion). * On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)! * On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (And you thought????...) * On packaging for a K-Mart iron: Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time?) * On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.) * On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this because???) * On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to...what?) * On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) * On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". (Talk about a news flash!) * On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) * I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". * On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TitanTiger 20,510 Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 The last one is the kicker! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDM4AU 336 Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 On some snow blowers it says: "Not to be used on the roof." This and others are because someone tried it and died or got seriously injured. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger Al 0 Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 How would you even get a snowblower on your roof?!? Don't you ride them or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUesquire 1 Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 Comedian, Bill Engval, had a few, my favorite of which was...Warning on Preparation H "Not to be taken orally" He said "Dear Preparation H, I done ate this whole tube and I still got these hemorroids. But my mouth done got so small, I can't even whistle" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDM4AU 336 Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 How would you even get a snowblower on your roof?!? Don't you ride them or something? There are some smaller ones that are similar to a push mower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUBURNTIGERFAN 0 Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 thats great!!! I like On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bammanmr 0 Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 Comedian, Bill Engval, had a few, my favorite of which was...Warning on Preparation H "Not to be taken orally" He said "Dear Preparation H, I done ate this whole tube and I still got these hemorroids. But my mouth done got so small, I can't even whistle" Here's your sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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