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Arson Suspected in Orange Bowl Fire


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January 5, 2005

Arson Suspected in Orange Bowl Blaze

by Richard Edward

Associated Press

Officials with the Dade County Fire Department in Miami, Florida confirmed today that they have requested investigative assistance from the State of Florida’s Blaze Containment Squad (BCS) in determining the cause of Tuesday’s massive blaze at Pro Player Stadium. The fire, which started in the Sooner secondary in the first quarter of Tuesday’s Orange Bowl game, quickly spread to other areas which firefighters were unable to contain. “We’re not accustomed to seeing fires of this proportion in the Big Two Little Ten district,” said witnesses to the spectacle.

“The defense was a total loss,” said BCS spokesman Bill Burns, also known as Fire Marshal Bill. The initial 11 firefighters dispatched by squad leader Bob Stoops were quickly overwhelmed by the fast-moving fire in which more than 30 units from surrounding areas responded. When asked if arson was suspected, Fire Marshal Bill disclosed that the Boomer Sooner, a rickety structure often referred to as a “tinderbox,” had failed several mid-season inspections. “It had been propped up for so long, we thought it would fall down instead of burning down,” stated the BCS spokeman.

When asked to comment on why a tragedy like this could be thrust on an unsuspecting public, ABC Television spokesman Terry “Little Man” Bowden stated, “I’m a little short on answers as to how this could occur.” He added, “They had the support of several influential BCS mucketymucks who insisted on a traditional holiday.”

“I’ve never seen such a disaster,” replied bystander Lee Corso. “But it was great for roasting the feathers off of my crow.” He added,”I really hate raw crow.”

An unsubstantiated angle reported by Tuskeegee News editor Paul Davis linked influential Auburn booster Bobby Lowder to the blaze, indicating that nobody could account for Lowder’s whereabouts during the disaster, but the tail numbers from his Colonial Bank jet were traced to nearby Ft. Lauderdale Executive Airport. Lowder could not be reached for comment.

Prairie Bammer News, a Norman, Oklahoma daily newspaper quoted a University of Joklahoma spokeperson as stating that the loss was fully insured and would be “100 percent covered” by the Sagarin Fire & Casualty Insurance Agency. “The financial loss is certainly a big concern, but right now we’re just worried about the mental anguish these victims are attempting to deal with.” When asked what the University planned to do to provide aid to the victims, the spokesperson described the massive outpouring of support they were receiving from the Bammer Nation who are experienced in dealing with such setbacks. “They’re our brothers in time of need,” said a tearful Bob Stoops.


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any way to forward this stunning new flash out to the delusional OU nation.?--they are a little slow in getting current news out there waiting on the covered wagon and all. From my review of their website they haven't gotten this news because they still believe that they also could have put out a fire in Auburn. I think they should consult their Bama Brothers before they consider firefighting on the plains. Also one new quote about the fire an OU spokesman said " we thought that a large amount of hot air was all that was required to fight a big fire." "hot air usually works in OKLAHOMA."

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