Jenny AU-92 0 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Men Are Just Happier People: What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. Your hormones don’t wack out every four weeks. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woods1110 0 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier! 159236[/snapback] That sums up my Christmas shopping to a T! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigermike 3,078 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Women can as well, in fact we men encourage most all women to do just that! Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. That's a bad thing? If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Everyone forgets sometimes. In fact if I forgive that then my wife/girlfriend will forgive when,,,,,,,,nevermind. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. For those of us fortunate to still have hair. Your belly usually hides your big hips. What big hips, I don't see any big hips! You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. That doesn't include time finding a parking space does it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TitanTiger 20,542 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Maybe God just likes us more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigermike 3,078 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Maybe God just likes us more. 159245[/snapback] In the history of the entire world there has only been ONE perfect man, and they killed Him. There has never been a perfect woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aucorner 0 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Maybe God just likes us more. 159245[/snapback] In the history of the entire world there has only been ONE perfect man, and they killed Him. There has never been a perfect woman. 159251[/snapback] Adam was not a 'sinner' until Eve tempted him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiger88 934 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 I work with a bunch of women and we refer to their constant need for unhappiness as the "mysery factor". If too much happiness comes their way, don't fret, they will find something really quick to raise their mysery factor back up where they like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger in Spain 0 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Adam was not a 'sinner' until Eve tempted him 159252[/snapback] Yep, Eve got us booted out of the Garden of Eden. Man had it made there, but Adam just had to ask for companionship. 3 other instances throughout history where the interference of a woman wrecked things: - The Roman Empire: Cleopatra batted her eyes at Marc Anthony and Rome began to fall. - Troy: Helen got herself kidnapped and all hell broke loose. - Samson: Deliliah happens to mention how much nicer he'd look with a haircut and pretty much ruins him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny AU-92 0 Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 Adam was not a 'sinner' until Eve tempted him 159252[/snapback] Yep, Eve got us booted out of the Garden of Eden. Man had it made there, but Adam just had to ask for companionship. 3 other instances throughout history where the interference of a woman wrecked things: - The Roman Empire: Cleopatra batted her eyes at Marc Anthony and Rome began to fall. - Troy: Helen got herself kidnapped and all hell broke loose. - Samson: Deliliah happens to mention how much nicer he'd look with a haircut and pretty much ruins him. 159344[/snapback] Let's see... four instances where women are to blame. Guess all the others are laid at the feet of .... MEN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CCTAU 3,355 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Men can always just take their toy and go home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigermike 3,078 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 I am impressed Jenny! You have shown great restraint in responding to our friendly little jabs. For some reason, I expected a nuclear response much sooner! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aucorner 0 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Adam was not a 'sinner' until Eve tempted him 159252[/snapback] Yep, Eve got us booted out of the Garden of Eden. Man had it made there, but Adam just had to ask for companionship. 3 other instances throughout history where the interference of a woman wrecked things: - The Roman Empire: Cleopatra batted her eyes at Marc Anthony and Rome began to fall. - Troy: Helen got herself kidnapped and all hell broke loose. - Samson: Deliliah happens to mention how much nicer he'd look with a haircut and pretty much ruins him. 159344[/snapback] Let's see... four instances where women are to blame. Guess all the others are laid at the feet of .... MEN! 159374[/snapback] Let's see Cleopatra and Helen did things to alter all history since that time, Delilah messed with God's law, and Eve, not only messed with God's law, but, considering she was the second human being ever created, screwed it up for everyone until the end of time :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny AU-92 0 Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 I am impressed Jenny! You have shown great restraint in responding to our friendly little jabs. For some reason, I expected a nuclear response much sooner! 159391[/snapback] Just too busy today. But I also remember what my Poppa always said - you can't argue with ignorance... and men ARE such SIMPLE creatures. Women are MUCH more complex and are OBVIOUSLY the higher life form... But for the record... Eve just offered Adam the apple - he was stupid enough to take it. Can't blame her totally! He knew the rules JUST LIKE SHE DID. Where's all the usual talk about self-determination? He could have refused and then he would have had heaven all to himself! Total control of the couch, remote and toilet seat - truly a male Paradise. Cleopatra was trying to save her own country of Egypt and she did whatever she had to do, using whatever skills she had to work with. Too bad she was able to peg those guys so easily - and Egype stayed free longer than any of the other countries, didn't it??? If Caesar and Antony hadn't been so busy trying to conquer the world while thinking with the wrong brain, then Rome might not have fallen - delusions of grandeur will get you every time. Pride goeth before a fall! And Helen got herself kidnapped? Guess she also hired the boat, the crew and set sail all on her own. Paris HONESTLY thought a goddess had promised him the most beautiful woman in the world? PUH-LEEZE. He was a wimp and a momma's boy who couldn't find his own woman so he had to go steal someone else's and then try to blame Aphrodite - not to mention the fact that he was pretty damn stupid to openly declare one woman to be more beautiful than the other two, when one of the two rejected women carried heavy weaponry!! Now Delilah... I might give you that one, but Samson wasn't exactly a rocket scientist. More brawn than brains, perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigermike 3,078 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 But for the record...Eve just offered Adam the apple - he was stupid enough to take it. Can't blame her totally! He knew the rules JUST LIKE SHE DID. Where's all the usual talk about self-determination? He could have refused and then he would have had heaven all to himself! Total control of the couch, remote and toilet seat - truly a male Paradise. 159397[/snapback] Hold on one dang minute! You know how she was dressed! Adam didn't have a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny AU-92 0 Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 But for the record...Eve just offered Adam the apple - he was stupid enough to take it. Can't blame her totally! He knew the rules JUST LIKE SHE DID. Where's all the usual talk about self-determination? He could have refused and then he would have had heaven all to himself! Total control of the couch, remote and toilet seat - truly a male Paradise. 159397[/snapback] Hold on one dang minute! You know how she was dressed! Adam didn't have a chance. 159407[/snapback] Well, we know how HE was dressed too - maybe Eve was giving him the apple to distract him - a naked woman living with a naked man would probably be ready to scream, since men are such visual creatures. NO WAY a naked man was going to leave her alone for even five seconds. She probably wanted to read her book for a while and to get him off of her, she threw him an apple and said "Here, eat this and leave me alone!" The only thing that will take sex off a man's mind is food - or MAYBE football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthLink02 8 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 That list is quite accurate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CCTAU 3,355 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 But for the record...Eve just offered Adam the apple - he was stupid enough to take it. Can't blame her totally! He knew the rules JUST LIKE SHE DID. Where's all the usual talk about self-determination? He could have refused and then he would have had heaven all to himself! Total control of the couch, remote and toilet seat - truly a male Paradise. 159397[/snapback] Hold on one dang minute! You know how she was dressed! Adam didn't have a chance. 159407[/snapback] Well, we know how HE was dressed too - maybe Eve was giving him the apple to distract him - a naked woman living with a naked man would probably be ready to scream, since men are such visual creatures. NO WAY a naked man was going to leave her alone for even five seconds. She probably wanted to read her book for a while and to get him off of her, she threw him an apple and said "Here, eat this and leave me alone!" The only thing that will take sex off a man's mind is food - or MAYBE football. 159442[/snapback] God gave man two heads but only enough blood to run one at a time. Adam was using up all his blood supply in the wrong head due to the effects of Eve. Eve knew this and still offered the apple. Now you know the rest of the story. Now you know the Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKW 86 7,481 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 But for the record...Eve just offered Adam the apple - he was stupid enough to take it. Can't blame her totally! He knew the rules JUST LIKE SHE DID. Where's all the usual talk about self-determination? He could have refused and then he would have had heaven all to himself! Total control of the couch, remote and toilet seat - truly a male Paradise. 159397[/snapback] Hold on one dang minute! You know how she was dressed! Adam didn't have a chance. 159407[/snapback] Well, we know how HE was dressed too - maybe Eve was giving him the apple to distract him - a naked woman living with a naked man would probably be ready to scream, since men are such visual creatures. NO WAY a naked man was going to leave her alone for even five seconds. She probably wanted to read her book for a while and to get him off of her, she threw him an apple and said "Here, eat this and leave me alone!" The only thing that will take sex off a man's mind is food - or MAYBE football. 159442[/snapback] God gave man two heads but only enough blood to run one at a time. Adam was using up all his blood supply in the wrong head due to the effects of Eve. Eve knew this and still offered the apple. Now you know the rest of the story. Now you know the 159459[/snapback] Brother, Every word you said, MEGA-DITTO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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