Oh Lawd, The bammers

[Weagle98 119]

Tell him that when he gets thru banging his sister, you can discuss Chizik's track record as a coordinator. If he brings up 5-19, mention the level of talent he was working with. He will say, well Nick Saban would have won a NC with those Iowa State teams. You can then point out, that even with superior talent, Saban has lost to UAB and LA Monroe. He will then divert your attention to his new bammer jersey that he thought was acceptable for casual Friday.

You can ask him why his "gameday jersey" looks nothing like the one the actual team wears. His has elephants on the shoulders and the numbers are lined in a reflective silver. He will reply that the bammer that works at Wal-Mart told him this was the new jersey the team will be wearing this year, and Nick Saban helped design it.

Then he will go on a rant about how Saban will win a NC after being at bama only 2 years. When you remind him Saban has already been at bama two years and they didn't even win the SEC, he will start pointing at all of the bammers championship years that are printed on his belt. When you mention that half of those championships were made up, he will tell you about the time him and his drunk father "shook the bear's hand", and how it changed his life forever.

Since that day, he aint been "nuthin but a winner", and Auburn is a cow college and isn't in bammers' league. Then you can ask him AU vs. UA's record since he has been old enough to remember watching the games. Even though the head to head record is probably a toss up during his lifetime, he will probably tell you the only years Auburn won is because Bama was on probation. Then you can point out that maybe the reason Alabama won during those years is because they were doing things to get put on probation. He will then change the subject and talk about bama's back to back recruiting NCs, which he has the "Got Recruits" shirt to prove..... (also purchased at Wal-Mart)

Then you will wonder why you ever cared what he thought of Chizik.

Post of the decade.

[SKIPPER_01 99]

Tell him that when he gets thru banging his sister, you can discuss Chizik's track record as a coordinator. If he brings up 5-19, mention the level of talent he was working with. He will say, well Nick Saban would have won a NC with those Iowa State teams. You can then point out, that even with superior talent, Saban has lost to UAB and LA Monroe. He will then divert your attention to his new bammer jersey that he thought was acceptable for casual Friday.

You can ask him why his "gameday jersey" looks nothing like the one the actual team wears. His has elephants on the shoulders and the numbers are lined in a reflective silver. He will reply that the bammer that works at Wal-Mart told him this was the new jersey the team will be wearing this year, and Nick Saban helped design it.

Then he will go on a rant about how Saban will win a NC after being at bama only 2 years. When you remind him Saban has already been at bama two years and they didn't even win the SEC, he will start pointing at all of the bammers championship years that are printed on his belt. When you mention that half of those championships were made up, he will tell you about the time him and his drunk father "shook the bear's hand", and how it changed his life forever.

Since that day, he aint been "nuthin but a winner", and Auburn is a cow college and isn't in bammers' league. Then you can ask him AU vs. UA's record since he has been old enough to remember watching the games. Even though the head to head record is probably a toss up during his lifetime, he will probably tell you the only years Auburn won is because Bama was on probation. Then you can point out that maybe the reason Alabama won during those years is because they were doing things to get put on probation. He will then change the subject and talk about bama's back to back recruiting NCs, which he has the "Got Recruits" shirt to prove..... (also purchased at Wal-Mart)

Then you will wonder why you ever cared what he thought of Chizik.

280Tiger definitely gets a MVP for this post!!!

[Taylor An Auburn Fan 0]

Tell him that when he gets thru banging his sister, you can discuss Chizik's track record as a coordinator. If he brings up 5-19, mention the level of talent he was working with. He will say, well Nick Saban would have won a NC with those Iowa State teams. You can then point out, that even with superior talent, Saban has lost to UAB and LA Monroe. He will then divert your attention to his new bammer jersey that he thought was acceptable for casual Friday.

You can ask him why his "gameday jersey" looks nothing like the one the actual team wears. His has elephants on the shoulders and the numbers are lined in a reflective silver. He will reply that the bammer that works at Wal-Mart told him this was the new jersey the team will be wearing this year, and Nick Saban helped design it.

Then he will go on a rant about how Saban will win a NC after being at bama only 2 years. When you remind him Saban has already been at bama two years and they didn't even win the SEC, he will start pointing at all of the bammers championship years that are printed on his belt. When you mention that half of those championships were made up, he will tell you about the time him and his drunk father "shook the bear's hand", and how it changed his life forever.

Since that day, he aint been "nuthin but a winner", and Auburn is a cow college and isn't in bammers' league. Then you can ask him AU vs. UA's record since he has been old enough to remember watching the games. Even though the head to head record is probably a toss up during his lifetime, he will probably tell you the only years Auburn won is because Bama was on probation. Then you can point out that maybe the reason Alabama won during those years is because they were doing things to get put on probation. He will then change the subject and talk about bama's back to back recruiting NCs, which he has the "Got Recruits" shirt to prove..... (also purchased at Wal-Mart)

Then you will wonder why you ever cared what he thought of Chizik.

Can somebody get this guy a drink?

[Bottomfeeder 244]

Tell him that when he gets thru banging his sister, you can discuss Chizik's track record as a coordinator. If he brings up 5-19, mention the level of talent he was working with. He will say, well Nick Saban would have won a NC with those Iowa State teams. You can then point out, that even with superior talent, Saban has lost to UAB and LA Monroe. He will then divert your attention to his new bammer jersey that he thought was acceptable for casual Friday.

You can ask him why his "gameday jersey" looks nothing like the one the actual team wears. His has elephants on the shoulders and the numbers are lined in a reflective silver. He will reply that the bammer that works at Wal-Mart told him this was the new jersey the team will be wearing this year, and Nick Saban helped design it.

Then he will go on a rant about how Saban will win a NC after being at bama only 2 years. When you remind him Saban has already been at bama two years and they didn't even win the SEC, he will start pointing at all of the bammers championship years that are printed on his belt. When you mention that half of those championships were made up, he will tell you about the time him and his drunk father "shook the bear's hand", and how it changed his life forever.

Since that day, he aint been "nuthin but a winner", and Auburn is a cow college and isn't in bammers' league. Then you can ask him AU vs. UA's record since he has been old enough to remember watching the games. Even though the head to head record is probably a toss up during his lifetime, he will probably tell you the only years Auburn won is because Bama was on probation. Then you can point out that maybe the reason Alabama won during those years is because they were doing things to get put on probation. He will then change the subject and talk about bama's back to back recruiting NCs, which he has the "Got Recruits" shirt to prove..... (also purchased at Wal-Mart)

Then you will wonder why you ever cared what he thought of Chizik.

I revisit this post from time to time just to get laugh. This is probably the funniest post I have ever read period.

Priceless!

[TitanTiger 20,542]

Tell him that when he gets thru banging his sister, you can discuss Chizik's track record as a coordinator. If he brings up 5-19, mention the level of talent he was working with. He will say, well Nick Saban would have won a NC with those Iowa State teams. You can then point out, that even with superior talent, Saban has lost to UAB and LA Monroe. He will then divert your attention to his new bammer jersey that he thought was acceptable for casual Friday.

You can ask him why his "gameday jersey" looks nothing like the one the actual team wears. His has elephants on the shoulders and the numbers are lined in a reflective silver. He will reply that the bammer that works at Wal-Mart told him this was the new jersey the team will be wearing this year, and Nick Saban helped design it.

Then he will go on a rant about how Saban will win a NC after being at bama only 2 years. When you remind him Saban has already been at bama two years and they didn't even win the SEC, he will start pointing at all of the bammers championship years that are printed on his belt. When you mention that half of those championships were made up, he will tell you about the time him and his drunk father "shook the bear's hand", and how it changed his life forever.

Since that day, he aint been "nuthin but a winner", and Auburn is a cow college and isn't in bammers' league. Then you can ask him AU vs. UA's record since he has been old enough to remember watching the games. Even though the head to head record is probably a toss up during his lifetime, he will probably tell you the only years Auburn won is because Bama was on probation. Then you can point out that maybe the reason Alabama won during those years is because they were doing things to get put on probation. He will then change the subject and talk about bama's back to back recruiting NCs, which he has the "Got Recruits" shirt to prove..... (also purchased at Wal-Mart)

Then you will wonder why you ever cared what he thought of Chizik.

This made me laugh...

It reminds me of that kids book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

[BamaGrad03 0]

If you guys feel like that is the post of the year, it shows how desperate you are to find SOMETHING to cling to in regards to besting Bama.

For the record, you guys can bring up La Tech all you want. The last time we lost to them, we also beat AU and won the SEC Championship in the same season.

And for all you guys baggin on the Bama fan in the cubicle...I'd like to point out, his cube is connected to the cube that the original poster apparently works in.

[AUloggerhead 2,267]

You just couldn't stand us having a laugh at your fanbase, could ya?

[WAR-GIGEM-EAGLE 4]

I think Bama fans everywhere are hoping La Tech beats AU. Why would they feel this way?

That billboard might grate on their nerves, but the real reason is Bammers are obsessed with Auburn.

If La Tech beats Auburn in Jordan-Hare stadium...they will win 9 or 10 games this season. How many did ULM win??

[AURaptor 1,128]

I was just informed by the bammer in the cubicle next to me that Auburn is going to get slaughtered by La Tech and Chizik is a "washed up assistant coach". Now, if i wasn't too busy DOIN MY JOB or browsing these forums, I would think of something to come back with. This is where i need your help. Please advise

Just smile, nod your head and agree with him, in the most patronizing manner you can muster. That'll drive 'em nuts. Comment that you're hoping to at least score on that juggernaut, that is LA Tech.

[OldNewby 27]

If you guys feel like that is the post of the year, it shows how desperate you are to find SOMETHING to cling to in regards to besting Bama.

For the record, you guys can bring up La Tech all you want. The last time we lost to them, we also beat AU and won the SEC Championship in the same season.

And for all you guys baggin on the Bama fan in the cubicle...I'd like to point out, his cube is connected to the cube that the original poster apparently works in.

Speaking of desperation, 14,000+ posts in six years on an Auburn Forum. Anything to be near dear old Auburn.

[jenn4AU 24]

Sometimes I wish an AU fan could just enjoy a thread about their rival in peace...

[BamaGrad03 0]

You just couldn't stand us having a laugh at your fanbase, could ya?

Oh I thought some of the responses were good. I just thought the "he screws his sister cause he's a bammer" line of rebuttal was a little canned and pedestrian.

[Tiger1992 999]

You just couldn't stand us having a laugh at your fanbase, could ya?

Oh I thought some of the responses were good. I just thought the "he screws his sister cause he's a bammer" line of rebuttal was a little canned and pedestrian.

Maybe, but the classics never go out of style...

[280TIGER 12]

You just couldn't stand us having a laugh at your fanbase, could ya?

Oh I thought some of the responses were good. I just thought the "he screws his sister cause he's a bammer" line of rebuttal was a little canned and pedestrian.

That one struck a little too close to home for you, huh?

[abrnfanatc 6]

You just couldn't stand us having a laugh at your fanbase, could ya?

Oh I thought some of the responses were good. I just thought the "he screws his sister cause he's a bammer" line of rebuttal was a little canned and pedestrian.

You forgot the part about the trailer...

[jared52 4,354]

Nothing gets me in the football mood like a good attack on a bammer.

[BamaGrad03 0]

You just couldn't stand us having a laugh at your fanbase, could ya?

Oh I thought some of the responses were good. I just thought the "he screws his sister cause he's a bammer" line of rebuttal was a little canned and pedestrian.

That one struck a little too close to home for you, huh?

You're quite the classy representation of Auburn aren't ya?

Talk about people screwing their sisters, throw out racist remarks about how black student athletes can't rise above "Ebonics"...

Not sure what's sadder: the fact that you spew this crap...or the fact that some here eat it up.

[bird36 5]

You just couldn't stand us having a laugh at your fanbase, could ya?

Oh I thought some of the responses were good. I just thought the "he screws his sister cause he's a bammer" line of rebuttal was a little canned and pedestrian.

That one struck a little too close to home for you, huh?

You're quite the classy representation of Auburn aren't ya?

Talk about people screwing their sisters, throw out racist remarks about how black student athletes can't rise above "Ebonics"...

Not sure what's sadder: the fact that you spew this crap...or the fact that some here eat it up.

If it saddens you so much then just leave and don't come back. Or...... you can just use your 14,601st post to once again be the moral compass for the site, and let us know when the bammer jokes get offensive.

[280TIGER 12]

You just couldn't stand us having a laugh at your fanbase, could ya?

Oh I thought some of the responses were good. I just thought the "he screws his sister cause he's a bammer" line of rebuttal was a little canned and pedestrian.

That one struck a little too close to home for you, huh?

You're quite the classy representation of Auburn aren't ya?

Talk about people screwing their sisters, throw out racist remarks about how black student athletes can't rise above "Ebonics"...

Not sure what's sadder: the fact that you spew this crap...or the fact that some here eat it up.

...or that you keep coming back to take it, like the bitch you are. I would vote that the saddest.

[aumorgan21 0]

Tell him that when he gets thru banging his sister, you can discuss Chizik's track record as a coordinator. If he brings up 5-19, mention the level of talent he was working with. He will say, well Nick Saban would have won a NC with those Iowa State teams. You can then point out, that even with superior talent, Saban has lost to UAB and LA Monroe. He will then divert your attention to his new bammer jersey that he thought was acceptable for casual Friday.

You can ask him why his "gameday jersey" looks nothing like the one the actual team wears. His has elephants on the shoulders and the numbers are lined in a reflective silver. He will reply that the bammer that works at Wal-Mart told him this was the new jersey the team will be wearing this year, and Nick Saban helped design it.

Then he will go on a rant about how Saban will win a NC after being at bama only 2 years. When you remind him Saban has already been at bama two years and they didn't even win the SEC, he will start pointing at all of the bammers championship years that are printed on his belt. When you mention that half of those championships were made up, he will tell you about the time him and his drunk father "shook the bear's hand", and how it changed his life forever.

Since that day, he aint been "nuthin but a winner", and Auburn is a cow college and isn't in bammers' league. Then you can ask him AU vs. UA's record since he has been old enough to remember watching the games. Even though the head to head record is probably a toss up during his lifetime, he will probably tell you the only years Auburn won is because Bama was on probation. Then you can point out that maybe the reason Alabama won during those years is because they were doing things to get put on probation. He will then change the subject and talk about bama's back to back recruiting NCs, which he has the "Got Recruits" shirt to prove..... (also purchased at Wal-Mart)

Then you will wonder why you ever cared what he thought of Chizik.

Post of the decade.

I agree!

[weagl1 1,789]

I know one thing. I sure will be glad when the season actually starts. I had forgotten how great it was to have the toothless nation humble over that long 6 year period. Then they win one game and we have to listen to the same old garbage for 365 days like it was the 70's all over again. I just have a feeling that redemption is near!

[penguin149 391]

Never EVER engage in a battle of wit with an unarmed person....they'll beat you with experience every time!

[Bottomfeeder 244]

After the 2009 season, I just had to revisit this post to get a laugh at the Bammers concerning our future and reflect on their ignorance. And how Chizik's Champs just out classed Bammer last year. WDE!