Pick your favorite phrase to make fun of

[CarolinaTiger 0]

This article was so full of humorous opportunities, I thought I'd start a little contest.

Linky Dinky

Florida State's Bowden declines to suspend players

By Andy Gardiner, USA TODAY

HOT SPRINGS, Va. — Two star Florida State linebackers will start against Miami (Fla.) in the opener Sept. 5 despite unresolved legal issues and two redshirt freshmen quarterbacks might play, coach Bobby Bowden said Monday.

"There's more ways to discipline than a dadgum suspension," Bowden said at the Atlantic Coast Conference media day in his first extended comments of the summer. "You all have heard of physical pain, haven't you? That's our method."

A.J. Nicholson was charged with misdemeanor resisting arrest without violence after an incident in June, and Ernie Sims was charged with misdemeanor domestic battery and resisting arrest without violence after an argument with his girlfriend in July. Prosecutors have not decided whether to proceed.

"If it's a misdemeanor, (punishment) is in my hands, but I've got to find out what's their final verdict," Bowden said. "To say we don't discipline just because I don't suspend them, so I can be like everybody else ... I ain't interested in being like everybody else."

Nicholson, a senior, and Sims, a junior, were Florida State's leading tacklers a year ago and are expected to anchor a defense weakened by the loss this month of All-America cornerback Antonio Cromartie to a torn knee ligament.

The Seminoles also will be without defensive tackle Clifton Dixon (academics) and quarterback Wyatt Sexton, who is recovering from Lyme disease, which was diagnosed after he was hospitalized for erratic behavior.

That means Xavier Lee or Drew Weatherford will go against the Hurricanes, perhaps both, Bowden said.

But Bowden said this offseason was not much different from any other in his 30 years at FSU. "We've always had somebody in trouble, we've always had somebody have grades, we've always had somebody be sick," he said.

Countered senior running back Leon Washington, "It's probably one of the worst offseasons Florida State has had."

Bowden mixed his usual self-deprecating humor with somber assessment of his team. Among the highlights:

• On Sexton: The fourth-year junior figured to be the No. 1 quarterback going into preseason. Now, Sexton will miss the entire 2005 season after being diagnosed with Lyme disease. It's unclear how much the disease triggered his bizarre behavior last month, where Sexton acted irrationally in front of his Tallahassee residence. He claimed to be "son of God" and police had to eventually subdue him with pepper spray then admit him to a local hospital for mental health analysis.

Bowden said he has not visited Sexton.

"No, no," he said emphatically to the Pensacola (Fla.) News Journal. "I will not talk to him until his parents say, 'Go talk to him.' Because he has been very sick. And I'm sure he's getting treatment now. And I don't know if it requires complete (privacy).

"The good news is that it's curable."

Bowden revealed Monday that Sexton's father, Billy Sexton, the Seminoles' 29-year assistant and long-time running backs coach, began telephoning Bowden in May with concerns of Wyatt's behavior.

"He kept saying that he was acting strange, man, strange," Bowden said to the Pensacola (Fla.) News Journal. "Any wondered why. Then it all came to light once you saw that Lyme disease and you started talking with people who are familiar with it and doctors. They tell you what the symptoms are, and what it does. Then we began to understand more why he was acting the way he did."

Sexton was diagnosed July 9 with an "accelerated" case of Lyme disease which has been known to cause mental health problems in rare instances. The illness and Sexton's medical leave will force the Seminoles to start a quarterback against Miami without any previous college playing experience.

Weatherford played only one play last year, against North Carolina, but suffered an ankle injury and was granted a medical redshirt.

• On the quarterback future, Bowden said he'll let preseason practices determine the status.

"Both of 'em are dead even, so we'll take them out there and start 'em even," the coach said to the Pensacola (Fla.) News Journal. "I'd imagine we might even flip a coin to see who gets the first handoff (in the first practice). We'll rotate them where you will never know which one is first team. We'll do that, hoping one of 'em will separate.

"That solves our problem (if one separates). But if that doesn't happen, then we've got to make up our mind who will start. We could play them both (in a shared role) and I'm not opposed to that. If I couldn't tell which one is best, I wouldn't hesitate to let 'em both play."

• On Sims and Nicholson: Since both players were not charged with felony crimes, Bowden said it's "in his hands" as to how to mete disciplinary action. He's unfazed by critics who say he's too soft for choosing against a suspension.

Both players are waiting for their cases to be resolved. In Sims' case, charges against him for non-violent, domestic battery against his girlfriend could be dropped. Bowden said their team penalty will involve post-practice running, early morning conditioning and other forms of punishment exercises.

[CarolinaTiger 0]

me first:

"You all have heard of physical pain, haven't you? That's our method."

riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

sanctioned physical pain as punishment. that's about as PC as it can get. ACLU?

[bammanmr 0]

I would say that the pain of being dismissed from the team, from school, and having to actually WORK for a living for the rest of their lives, would cause those 'gentlemen' a lot more physical pain than a few runs up dork-cambell's steps.

He really is the master of spin. How he and his proteges get away with running programs with NO discipline whatsoever, is something I dont' think I'll ever be able to accept.

[WAR EAGLE!!! 0]

Me next...

Since both players were not charged with felony crimes,

Apparently misdemeanors aren't that big of a crime anyway...

[tkdpal 0]

But Bowden said this offseason was not much different from any other in his 30 years at FSU. "We've always had somebody in trouble, we've always had somebody have grades, we've always had somebody be sick," he said.

170533[/snapback]

This by far takes the cake when it comes to funny. This pretty much sums up the last 10 years of FSU football!!

[Guest Tigrinum Major]

Not humorous, but I can't believe that he hasn't visited Sexton. His dad is one of his coaches and the kid was his projected starting QB and he hasn't visited him yet? I don't know a whole bunch about Lyme disease, but treatment requiring complete privacy?

Bobby has lost it.

[StatTiger 3,188]

But Bowden said this offseason was not much different from any other in his 30 years at FSU.

BINGO!!!

[Tigermike 3,039]

I couldn't get past the opening statement.

Two star Florida State linebackers will start against Miami (Fla.) in the opener Sept. 5 despite unresolved legal issues and two redshirt freshmen quarterbacks might play, coach Bobby Bowden said Monday.

What he really said: "Golly gee, we can't beat Miami with all our players on the field. What chance would we have without our two best linebackers!!!!"

[DKW 86 7,429]

Not humorous, but I can't believe that he hasn't visited Sexton.  His dad is one of his coaches and the kid was his projected starting QB and he hasn't visited him yet?  I don't know a whole bunch about Lyme disease, but treatment requiring complete privacy? 

Bobby has lost it.

170552[/snapback]

Ditto....!

What a Jerk!

[big dude 0]

I'm no doctor, so I may be wrong on this, but.....

"The good news is that it's curable."

Is this not a false statement about Lyme disease??

[CarolinaTiger 0]

I'm no doctor, so I may be wrong on this, but.....

"The good news is that it's curable."

Is this not a false statement about Lyme disease??

170568[/snapback]

maybe tim's vet can tackle this one....

[bammanmr 0]

I'm no doctor, so I may be wrong on this, but.....

"The good news is that it's curable."

Is this not a false statement about Lyme disease??

170568[/snapback]

Lyme dz. is a bacterial infection that can be easily treated with antibiotics. The key is to identify and treat the condition as early as possible. Almost 90% of the cases that are treated with antibiotics before the symptoms reach stage 2 (of 3 stages), are resolved with no further complications.

Even with severe complications, (like Sexton's or heart failure or arthritis) most infected persons respond quickly and improve greatly with antibiotic treatment.

So yeah, if he's getting treatment, he's probably well on his way to 'being cured'.

[stoic-one 1,547]

I'm no doctor, so I may be wrong on this, but.....

"The good news is that it's curable."

Is this not a false statement about Lyme disease??

170568[/snapback]

Apologize for twisting this around, Sextons problems may be curable, F$Us probably aren't....

[Jenny AU-92 0]

DEFINITELY the best line of this whole article, just as others have pointed out...

But Bowden said this offseason was not much different from any other in his 30 years at FSU. "We've always had somebody in trouble...

And he wonders why people bash him all the time... The head coach admits criminal problems at FSU are a GIVEN - anywhere else, they would be an annomaly.

[DCTiger 0]

Can anyone find a website that references mental health problems as a symptom of Lyme Disease? I wasnt able to.

CBB reminds me of Bill Clinton. Such a dynamic personality that he can just about say anything and it will be accepted.

I believe that when player's misbehave the consiquences should be felt by the entire program. If we are playing football games to make money, lets just say it. If college athletics are for molding character, providing education and promoting school spirit ... then you cant have your campus leaders resisting arrest and getting away with it.

[SKCAUB 0]

But Bowden said this offseason was not much different from any other in his 30 years at FSU. "We've always had somebody in trouble, we've always had somebody have grades, we've always had somebody be sick," he said.

170533[/snapback]

This by far takes the cake when it comes to funny. This pretty much sums up the last 10 years of FSU football!!

170547[/snapback]

Uh, yes...I believe this one would be my choice....