MrMoJo 0 Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 Because of slow ticket sales, THE University is offering a easy 8 part test for Bammer fans who want free tickets to the Cotton Bowl game Jan. 2nd : 1. Calculate the smallest diameter on a persimmon tree limb that will support a 10 pound possum? 2. Which of the cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? - 1965 Ford Fairlane - 1969 Chevy Chevelle - 1964 Pontiac GTO 3. If your Uncle Jim Bob builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of moonshine per day, how may car radiators are required to condense the product. 4. A Bammer graduate operates a chainsaw for a living at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine tree in his plot is 470 trees per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Papst Blue Ribbon beers will the Bama grad have to drink before the trees are cleared? 5. A front porch of a house in Tuscaloosa is constructed of 2x8's on 16" centers with a masonry foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 20 feet. The porch is decked with 1" Yella-wood Jimmy Ranes pine. When the porch collapes, how many dogs will be killed? 6. A 2 ton truck is driving overloaded on McFarland Blvd in Tuscaloosa and proceeds 900 yards down a steep slope at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given traffic conditions, what is the probability it will strike a vehicle with a muffler? 7. A Bammer Tide Pride member owns a house in Tuscaloosa located on 3.7 acres in a hollow with a gradient slope of 15%. The Bammer has 5 grown children. Can each of his children place a mobile home on the property and still have enough room for their electrical applicanes to sit out front? 8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how many years will it take the city of Tuscaloosa to breed a country-western singer? Thank you for your online test for Free Cotton Bowl Tickets. As always, THE University appreciates your support in getting rid of unwanted Tide football tickets. We advise all Bammer fans who plan to drink and drive on New Years Eve to: If you are too drunk to drive home New Years Eve, walk to your nearest pizza store and place an order. When they go to deliver, catch a ride home. ROOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMoJo 0 Posted December 28, 2005 Author Share Posted December 28, 2005 :bump: this took me too long to type to let this one go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKW 86 7,440 Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 I liked it Mr Mojo... I owe you a beer when next we meet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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