Busting a bama fan at church

[GalensGhost 0]

Sitting in church today prior to the service, one of the Bama fans dropped by fishing for recruiting compliments. I've heard enough Saban honking from this guy already.

He started out by saying: "It's not a good time to be in the SEC anymore, is it?"

I knew where he was going. He wanted me to open the recruiting can so he could gloat about Saban's "great" class and how they "kicked Auburn's butt" in state. I've heard the same song and dance for 15 years. So I twisted it on him. I said "No it's really not. It's a good time to keep your head down and not draw attention to yourself with stupid PR moves and questionable recruiting practices. When you take things past a the normal rivalry, you're just looking for trouble. And with the reputation in this league it'll find you."

Flustered, comes back with some babble about Les Miles' hat size, how low class he is for cursing out kids and how LSU better watch their butt because people have been talking about their dirty recruiting for YEARS!

So I reply, "Oh yeah? Really? More than two years?"

Commence sputtering. Now he's red-faced. People are always trying to tear down the upper echelon programs he says.

I interrupt and say "I haven't heard anybody saying anything bad about Florida, Auburn, Texas or Michigan. But there is that stuff with USC."

Now he's near fuming. "I know what he means," he says. And I get the whole 12 National Championship, more tradition than Notre Dame, Bear walked on water and drank a lot of wine rant. It meandered into how second-rate schools like LSU and its second class fans are always trying to find a way to bring the highest profile team in the SEC down, because teams like LSU will always live in the shadow of teams like Alabama. All this time, I'm flipping through the hymnal getting the songs for the service marked so I don't have to dig later.

As his rant starts to wind down with the living in the shadow analogy, I don't look up, I just add "Light doesn't come from below, it comes from above."

At that moment the organ thunders to start the service. It was like a sign.

[TigerOne 1,148]

amen brother, that dude needs to repent. Sounds like he is worshiping the wrong God.

[WarTiger 3,913]

I used to experience the same type of things when i went to church too... The arrogance doesn't stop in the churches either...

[Tiger1992 999]

Well, he did get the Bear drinking a lot of wine dickel part right.

[townhallsavoy 2]

I love going back to Birmingham and visiting my old church because there's always people there that say, "So what college are you at now?" And I reply, "Auburn," which is always followed with a grimace and a "I'm sorry. Chuckle Chuckle."

This isn't church related but I one time had an attempted conversation with a Bama fan and he brought up this question with me, "When has Auburn ever beaten a championship Bama team?" After observing his face for a few minutes to see if he was just being purposefully stupid I replied, "Uumm, when has Bama ever beaten a championship Auburn team? It's kind of hard to say that Auburn defeated a championship Bama team when that team doesn't win a championship due to the loss against Auburn, right?" His reponse was something about how Bama hasn't had enough chances to beat an Auburn champion because we've only got one, which resulted in me beating him senseless with a bar of soap in a pillowcase.

[jdub5793 0]

Sitting in church today prior to the service, one of the Bama fans dropped by fishing for recruiting compliments. I've heard enough Saban honking from this guy already.

He started out by saying: "It's not a good time to be in the SEC anymore, is it?"

I knew where he was going. He wanted me to open the recruiting can so he could gloat about Saban's "great" class and how they "kicked Auburn's butt" in state. I've heard the same song and dance for 15 years. So I twisted it on him. I said "No it's really not. It's a good time to keep your head down and not draw attention to yourself with stupid PR moves and questionable recruiting practices. When you take things past a the normal rivalry, you're just looking for trouble. And with the reputation in this league it'll find you."

Flustered, comes back with some babble about Les Miles' hat size, how low class he is for cursing out kids and how LSU better watch their butt because people have been talking about their dirty recruiting for YEARS!

So I reply, "Oh yeah? Really? More than two years?"

Commence sputtering. Now he's red-faced. People are always trying to tear down the upper echelon programs he says.

I interrupt and say "I haven't heard anybody saying anything bad about Florida, Auburn, Texas or Michigan. But there is that stuff with USC."

Now he's near fuming. "I know what he means," he says. And I get the whole 12 National Championship, more tradition than Notre Dame, Bear walked on water and drank a lot of wine rant. It meandered into how second-rate schools like LSU and its second class fans are always trying to find a way to bring the highest profile team in the SEC down, because teams like LSU will always live in the shadow of teams like Alabama. All this time, I'm flipping through the hymnal getting the songs for the service marked so I don't have to dig later.

As his rant starts to wind down with the living in the shadow analogy, I don't look up, I just add "Light doesn't come from below, it comes from above."

At that moment the organ thunders to start the service. It was like a sign.

I must give the Bammer fan credit though. He did understand he was being made fun of, and that's step one to admitting your team is second rate in this state.

[AU_tiger_2000 0]

Good job. We had a few of the old hardcore Bammers at my church when I was growing up. It was odd when I moved to Atlanta and not being able to discuss the Iron Bowl the following Sunday around the coffee pot. Living there the UGA game was the one we always had bragging rights discussions about.

[SKCAUB 0]

I love going back to Birmingham and visiting my old church because there's always people there that say, "So what college are you at now?" And I reply, "Auburn," which is always followed with a grimace and a "I'm sorry. Chuckle Chuckle."

This isn't church related but I one time had an attempted conversation with a Bama fan and he brought up this question with me, "When has Auburn ever beaten a championship Bama team?" After observing his face for a few minutes to see if he was just being purposefully stupid I replied, "Uumm, when has Bama ever beaten a championship Auburn team? It's kind of hard to say that Auburn defeated a championship Bama team when that team doesn't win a championship due to the loss against Auburn, right?" His reponse was something about how Bama hasn't had enough chances to beat an Auburn champion because we've only got one, which resulted in me beating him senseless with a bar of soap in a pillowcase.

Try a roll of quarters in a sock...so much more effective.

[AUesquire 1]

Several years ago, I had a buddy in church who was avid Mullet worshiper. He and I would go back and forth all the time and one year I showed up at Sunday School the day after an Auburn Iron Bowl victory. Of course, he was cringing while he waited on well deserved beatdown, but I made it a point to stay in conversation with everyone else about anything but football.

That alone was killing him but I wasn't letting him off the hook that easy. Half way through the lesson, I caught his attention across the room. Just then, I pulled open one side of my coat to show him a big, bright orange WAR EAGLE button pinned inside my coat. He busted out laughing and of course, he tried to blame me for the disruption of the class.

I have no idea what he's talking about.

[boddatiger99 5]

Funny post.

Brings back tons of memories of growing up in North Alabama. Our pastor was a die hard Bama fan; there was Bob, the Tennessee Alum; and our family was well known for being the DYE hard Auburn fans. We could always count on a comment from the pulpit the morning after an Iron Bowl! Always! Wish I was there these past 5 years!

Somewhat related: How die hard was my pastor and his family? Well, his son thought about going to Auburn b/c a lot of his friends were heading there. Gave it serious consideration. But Grandpa, who was paying for it - who is a big Bama booster - said "You can go anywhere and I'll pay for it, just not Auburn." Now I hate SPUAT like anyone else....but dude, I'm not sure I would deny my kids/grandkids the opportunity to attend if that's where they really wanted to go. That's some serious stuff (stupidity)!

[Tigermike 3,041]

I love going back to Birmingham and visiting my old church because there's always people there that say, "So what college are you at now?" And I reply, "Auburn," which is always followed with a grimace and a "I'm sorry. Chuckle Chuckle."

This isn't church related but I one time had an attempted conversation with a Bama fan and he brought up this question with me, "When has Auburn ever beaten a championship Bama team?" After observing his face for a few minutes to see if he was just being purposefully stupid I replied, "Uumm, when has Bama ever beaten a championship Auburn team? It's kind of hard to say that Auburn defeated a championship Bama team when that team doesn't win a championship due to the loss against Auburn, right?" His reponse was something about how Bama hasn't had enough chances to beat an Auburn champion because we've only got one, which resulted in me beating him senseless with a bar of soap in a pillowcase.

Try a roll of quarters in a sock...so much more effective.

Or you could fill the sock with Grape-Nuts cereal, those little things are hard! If he died, the police would then be looking for a serial cereal killer.