JBiGGiE

Hear me out... Derek Mason.

If ethics are of no concern we may as well kick the tires on one slightly used Art Briles. Or Perhaps a Jon Gruden?

Most people think he is ready to take on a HC role. He's got about a decade of OC/co-OC experience on top of his SEC experience and Auburn familiarity.

Andy Reid is my number 1

@bigbird @augolf1716

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. LSU fans do smell like corn dogs. I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something better said at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid. I am afraid that they’ll know I said it. I’ll walk past an LSU fan someday, and he’ll see that look in my eye that gives it away. That look that says, “gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?” The next thing you know, I’ll have flat tires on my car. If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU fans how they smell – you know, like corn dogs. LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue. I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, “Wow, LSU sure does have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game.” It’s hard. I know. It’s like when you’re having sex and you try to think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming. It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: “Gee, I wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like a corn dog?”; or “Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying to make me think it is a real person?” or “What did that giant corn dog just say?” or “Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly like corn dogs smell?” or, of course, after a silencer: “Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?” Heck, after what I’ve heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That’s okay. You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them. They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But don’t be obvious about it. Somehow they know you’re trying not to breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They’ll likely punch you for that if they catch on to what you’re doing. If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it’ll permeate your whole body, and then you’ll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But don’t say, “Dang, now I smell like a corn dog.” They take offense to that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff. Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get stitches or something. Just don’t say it. If you do start smelling like a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay? I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in their expression – indicating they smell corn dogs – might get a wrench or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that’s dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as you drive – on some other weekend. I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog stuff. What puzzles me most is that I’ve never actually seen any of these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there’s no mystery there – maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows? Maybe there’s a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there. Maybe, there’s a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume. Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply – kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird. The big political issue during the city election is whether they should add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don’t comment on it though. It’s not politically correct over there. It’s like a malnutrition issue or something. It’s like the corn dogs are probably added to the water to prevent starvation or something. I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you’re thinking: “Ahhhh. Here I am in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I’ll bet the people here smell just like boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe’ or some fancy Cajun food.” But just stop thinking that. That’s just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs. In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn dog odor. And don’t try masking the odor with something stronger. They’ll curse at you. They’ll say something like: “WTF, how dare you smoke a cigar in my home,” or “WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of corn dogs?” and they’ll cuss out your kids too: “WTF!!! Little Mister fancy pants over here acts like he doesn’t want to smell like corn dogs.” Cajuns are not like us. Don’t you see that, yet? They are really sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all. I know, I know. We sniff the Bammers and the UGA Dawgs and the Ole messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don’t press your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don’t refer to Death Valley as corn dog valley either. I mean that’s just wrong. Even if you’ve been drinking, they’ll beat you up and curse out your kids. Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction – even if you’re laughing about something else. Like baseball or football, or sex or whatever. If you can’t control yourself and you must laugh though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their corn dog body odor from a distance or that you’re choking on it or something. They’ll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus building over just one snort. So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams. You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home. Enough with this corn dog talk. Let’s play ball…

Auburn just went toe-to-toe with Mizzou to determine which team was the bigger dumpster fire and was settled by what can only be described as an act of God... If we pull out a win against a team with a pulse like LSU, then I say we replace Harsin with a committee of clergy and priests and let divine intervention run the whole show...

And for the record, I'm not anti-Prime just hesitant. I do believe you have to at least kick the tires with Deion to show that you're at least trying as a program. There's also the possibility of him not being a good fit. Might be that Atlanta is a better fit for Prime.

Anything would have been preferable to running a delayed dive up the middle when you have five defensive lineman loading the A-Gap. And worse, we had plenty of time on that play... They showed us exactly what they were going to do and someone on our sideline thought, "This is the moment we out-man them". Also, whoever drew up that Shenker speed sweep deserves to be fired. I'm not sure which play was worse. The 4th and 1 only looks worse given what was at stake...

Did Prime do that? Or did Barstool Sports' NIL deal do that? And let's assume for the sake of argument that it was Barstool Sports' doing. Did they do it because they support Coach Prime and want him to succeed? Or was it for the memes? You have to ask because if it's for the memes, you cannot expect that same level of support to follow him to Auburn if he were to come. Now I agree, I think Deion is an exceptional recruiter... But I don't know that he is. None of us do.

But that is what was advertised all off-season.

The writing is on the wall already. The only thing gained was a) a win for the players on homecoming and b) Harsin saved himself the embarrassment of getting Herm'd in the endzone. Beyond that, pretending as if this win* moves the needle on where anyone feels about Harsin is purely for TV personalities to have something to talk about this week.

It was rhetorical, but thank you 😅

Our Bigger, Faster, Stronger™ OL looks worse than ever this year. Speaking of OL we've signed 1 lineman last cycle and despite only having 8 scholarship linemen on roster for next year, we still chose to be either picky or apathetic toward OL recruiting. Shed, Ja'varrious, MJJ, Tavarish... All were MIA today. Anders has clearly lost his mojo... As much as we like to complain about Gus leaving the cupboard bare (and he did), Harsin has done progressively less with just the talent he's inherited... Talent that had no business being in this close of a game with that Missouri roster. What will we look like when he get his guys in? So far "his guys" are ranked bottom ¼ of the SEC. Where's the hope?

RIP Blue Theme. I know it had limitations, but I loved it

When Harsin was hired, many of us expected his successes to scale when provided the resources that are afforded to Auburn. Instead it seems he's literally building Auburn as he would at Boise. I'm confident if we give him time, he can have us competing for and winning championships regularly... well... Mountain West championships that is.

I won't pretend that there's not a scenario where Deion can't sell me (and by effect the University) on why he'd be a good fit, but it would 100% be predicated on the staff he would bring along. And that staff needs to know the Southeastern recruiting landscape and be proven developers of talent. As RiR put it, we as a program cannot afford to botch this next hire. Sanders as far as we know, is a complete unknown outside of his perceived recruiting prowess, and to be fair how much of Travis Hunter's decision was influenced by Barstool's lucrative NIL deal? That's why Deion isn't the top of my list.

Sean McVey?! Andy Reid???

The battered wife syndrome people have with regards to Urban Meyer and Hugh Freeze is baffling. Winning does not cover up toxic personalities.

What's Rush Propst doing these days?

Crazy to think that even after "Tiger Takeover" we're still SO underrepresented in Alabama highschools. I think this points to the larger picture: Over the off season he did many of the things we asked of him. We openly supported him bringing his guys in and trusting him to run the program his way. And we simply do not look like an improved team. I like many others have defended him and given him slack time and time again. Attacking his character is uncalled for, especially when the results speak for themselves.

Again, we're not talking inviting a recruit to a BBQ he wasn't allowed to be at. Freeze has a substantial history of... improper relations with people of the opposite sex. Winning is cool until you start talking vacated seasons and firings "with cause".

I just want someone who, when he poaches staffers from other schools, makes that fan base lament.

I used to make the same argument for Gus. When Gus bet on himself and the future of the Auburn program looked stale and worsening, it was time to cut bait. Harsin is in the same situation. He is on a quicker time table, but he is doing it his way and so far against competition with any sort of pulse we've folded like a cheap kite. It would take a Herculean turn around to win back any kind of good will with the fan base. Unfortunately there's nothing to inspire even the faintest hope of that happening.

Not enough