Edwards Endorsement Brings Crucial Swing Voters Into Play For Obama

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Edwards Endorsement Brings Crucial Swing Voters Into Play For Obama

Directly on the heels of his blowout loss in West Virginia, Barack Obama received a much-needed boost when John Edwards threw his endorsement to the Illinois senator.

“There is no question that this helps,” said Obama campaign spokesman Darren Guilford. “How couldn’t it? Senator Edwards brings several key voting blocs into play that, quite honestly, had been out of reach for us before. For starters, he has an unheard of favorable rating of 99.5% among white, metro-sexual males with monthly hair care expenditures of over $1,000. And I think his crossover appeal among non-verbal, cerebral palsy sufferers and unborn children goes without saying. We are very happy to receive such an important endorsement.”

Edwards noted that the time was right to make his endorsement of Senator Obama.

“Since I dropped out of the presidential race I have been working quietly, if not feverishly, behind the scenes to learn all that I could about both Barack and Hillary,” he said. “Once I became comfortable that my beliefs were much more in line with Barack’s, which was confirmed by polling numbers showing him as the shoo-in candidate, my decision was an easy one. I just hope that my humble ability to communicate with all kinds of Americans from medically neglected zygotes, to the uber-fabulously coiffed, will benefit Barack’s campaign.”

At least one veteran beltway watcher agreed with Edwards’ assessment.

“I think Senator Edwards is being extremely self-deprecating when he speaks of his ‘humble ability to communicate’ with critical special interest groups,” said Martin Gascoigne of the DC Policy Institute. “Well-kept caucasian males with free-spending haircare habits are a vital demographic, and they are not easily swayed by empty political rhetoric. They’ve been burned too many times before by promises of universal haircare from smooth talking politicians. As the young people say, Edwards has an inordinate amount of ’street cred’ with them. When we look back at this presidential race, it is very likely that this could be the tipping point for Obama getting both the Democratic nomination and a clear shot at the presidency.”

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