SEC Media Days

[Guest Tigrinum Major]

Highlights from today’s SEC Media Days in Birmingham:

· Florida Coach Urban Meyer imploded from all the hype surrounding him.

· South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier described his new “Cock and Fire†offense, which prompted many of the sportswriters to giggle like schoolgirls.

· Ole Miss Coach Ed Orgeron challenged the other three coaches to an arm wrestling tournament and then used several expletives to describe their family heritage when they refused.

· South Carolina players Andy Boyd and Lance Laury were introduced as the only Gamecock players that are allowed by their probation officers to leave the state.

· Tennessee cornerback Jason Allen discussed the successful surgery to remove Ronnie Brown’s shoulder pads from his sternum.

· Tennessee QB Rick Clausen talked of Coach Phil Fulmer’s decision to bring him to Birmingham. Fulmer later revealed that the original plan had been to bring Eric Ainge, but he was intercepted by an airport security guard wearing an Auburn hat.

· Orgeron discussed his plan to “make the Rebels not suck.â€Â

· Alabama sportswriters asked Fulmer a lot of stupid questions.

· Phyllis from Mulga showed up two days early to camp out for Mike Shula’s appearance on Thursday.

· Paul Finebaum was a jerk.