BRING IT ON!!!!

[Tigermike 3,067]

(1) What does the average Univ. of Alabama player get on his SATs?

........Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 Alabama cheerleaders in one room?

.........A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get an Alabama cheerleader into your dorm room?

........Grease her hips and push.

(4) How do you get a Alabama graduate off your porch?

.........Pay him for the pizza.

(5) How do you know if a Crimson Tide football player has a girlfriend?

........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup

(6) What are the longest three years of an Alabama football player's life?

.........His freshman year.

(8) How many Alabama freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?

.........None. That's a sophomore course.

(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?

........Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He knew that the police would never look at Alabama for a Heisman Trophy winner.

A man walked into a restaurant, ordered a drink, and asked the waiter if he'd like to hear a good Bammer joke.

"Listen buddy," he growled. "See those 2 big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Alabammer football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at Alabammer. That guy in the corner was Alabammer's all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in 3 sports at Alabammer. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?"

"Nah, guess not," the man replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it 5 times."

[AUesquire 1]

Drool.

I've already forwarded that post to 6 different people. Took full credit for all those jokes, of course.

[Bama Bo 0]

1: Did yall here about the Auburn grad who broke his leg while raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.

2: They no longer serve Iced Tea in Auburn. The Professer with the recipe for ice retired and moved to Florida.

3: How many Auburn grads does it take to change a light bulb? 13. 1 to actually change it, 6 to complain why they didn't get any media coverage, and 6 to talk about how much better it is than the ones in Tuscaloosa.

I have more, but I like you guys and I'd rather not push my luck. :huh:

[oviedotiger 0]

1: Did yall here about the Auburn grad who broke his leg while raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.

2: They no longer serve Iced Tea in Auburn. The Professer with the recipe for ice retired and moved to Florida.

3: How many Auburn grads does it take to change a light bulb? 13. 1 to actually change it, 6 to complain why they didn't get any media coverage, and 6 to talk about how much better it is than the ones in Tuscaloosa.

 

I have more, but I like you guys and I'd rather not push my luck.  :huh: 

199198[/snapback]

Bama Bo not to be rude or anything but those suck

[AWK 0]

Hah, your killing me smalls, OK

Whats the difference between an Alabama fan and a maggot?

- A maggot knows when to get off a dead Bear

[Bama Bo 0]

Bama Bo not to be rude or anything but those suck

199200[/snapback]

Okay, how about this one?

An Alabama, an Auburn, and a Georgia football player were traveling in the Far East. Well, on this one small island they were captured by the ruler of the island because they each had a bottle of wiskey which was illeagle in this island country.

The King said "The punishment for this offense is usually death, but since you are not natives we will let you off with giving you 50 lashes with a whip. Also, my wife is fan of this thing you call college foosball. She has asked you be granted a small wish before you get the lashes." First was the Georgia palyer, "I wish for a pillow to be strapped to my back before the lashes" They do this, but after about 30 lashes the pillow is destroyed and the whip cuts through and by the time it is over he is bleeding and crying. Next is the Auburn player. "I wish for three pillows on my back." Well they do this and after the lashes are over he is still clean and smiling. The chief says to the Alabama player " Wife says Alabama is her favorite Foosball team. You get Two wishes!" The Alabama player says "Well, for my first wish I want 150 lashes insted of 50." The King says "very honorable to increase your punishment for such a serious crime in my country. What is your second wish?" The Alabama player replies "I want to have the Auburn guy strapped to my back."

[Tigermike 3,067]

An Alabama State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-20, none other than Brodie Croyle was driving. The trooper said to the driver, "Got any ID?" Brodie said, "Bout what?"

Mal Moore came to work one morning and found the UaT athletic complex on fire, Mal whipped out his cell phone and called the fire department and shouted, "Hurry on over here. The athletic complex is on fire!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Hellsbells, don't you still have them big red trucks?"

Q: Why do all University of Alabama athletic teams go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?

A: 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.

Q. Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University of Alabama?

A. Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right down the road.

Q. What was the last thing David Housel said to Terry Bowden?

A. Don't let the door knob hit you in the head!

Shug's House

After Bear Bryant dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Bear a little two-bedroom house with a faded Alabama banner hanging from the front porch.

"This is your house, coach," God says happily."Most people don't get their own houses up here."

Bear looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge, beautiful two-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. Auburn flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge Auburn banner hangs between the marble columns.

"Thanks for the house, God," Bear says. "But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner and Shug gets a mansion with Auburn banners and AU flags flying all over the place. Why is that?"

God looks at him seriously for a moment, then says, "Bear, that's not Shug's house. That's mine."

The University of Alabama named its football complex after Bryant to go along with the other 1,024 landmarks of the same name.

[AUDadTwice 0]

Tommy Tuberville goes into an upscale men's department store in B'ham and sees blue and orange silk underwear. He says to the salesman, "I'll take 7 pairs of those." The salesman says, "Why 7?" Tuberville says, "Well, you know, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday..."

The next week Mike Shula goes into the same store and sees crimson and white silk underwear. He says, "I'll take 12 pairs of those." The salesman says, "Why 12?" Shula says, "Well, you know, January, February, March..."

[WarTim 3,457]