Are we too politically correct with kids today?

[CCTAU 3,829]

With everyone saying that it's not good for the kids to compete anymore, how do we teach our children to excel when we are always telling them "good job"? My children only get a "good job" out of me when they have earned it. They know that if I say "good job" then they actually did something right. Am I wrong for demanding excellence? Not to say I never praise the effort. I just do not declare success if there is none.

"I believe we have raised a generation of people who can hardly get through the day without an award," said Carol Dweck, professor of psychology at Stanford University and author of "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success."

Linky dinky

[BamaGrad03 0]

Yeah all these people who want to avoid hurting their kids feelings by not keeping score and not giving kids "Fs" when they fail...are setting their kids up to get chewed up and spit out by the real world.

[otterinbham 0]

"Self-Esteem" has to be the most poisonous concept ever devised by the social science industry. You don't get self-esteem from breathing. You get it from achievement. That being said, I think there's a fundamental difference between being demanding and tearing down.

Kids are pretty smart. If you tell them what the expectations are, they have a way of molding themselves to those expectations. If they are consistently not doing so, then there's something amiss in the relationship.

My kids know that As are expected in school. Bs are tolerated. Cs are not. Cs result in the loss of privileges in the house, such as computer time and television.

My kids know that, before they leave for school, their beds have to be made, their rooms have to be picked up, and the dishwasher has to be unloaded. Sure, I have to prompt them, but I get no argument from them.

When my daughter wanted to take violin, I told her that she could, as long as she recognized that it was a commitment of five years of daily practice. She has stuck with it for the past three and never uttered a complaint. Both my boys want to take up a musical instrument this fall. They already know what the commitment will be before they start. So if they really want to do it, they know they have to agree.

The important thing, however, is to stress that which is important in life. School is always important. The same goes for participating in the life of the family, treating others with kindness and respect, and having strong character.

However, if my son whiffs at bat in Little League, I'm not going to ride his ass. That would be cruel on my part. If Little League baseball matters to him, he'll work at it.