"You Kwow You're A Redneck..."

[Jenny AU-92 0]

Your standard of living improves when you go camping.

Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens.

You have jacked up your home to look for a dog.

You have a relative living in your garage.

Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.

There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.

You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode.

None of the tires on your van are the same size.

You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it.

Your idea of getting lucky is passing the emissions test.

Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade.

Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.

Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet.

You’ve ever slow-danced in the Waffle House.

Starting your car involves popping the hood.

Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays.

You whistle at women in church.

You actually wear shoes your dog brought home.

You’ve been in a fistfight at a yard sale.

You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach

the kids in the backseat. I have family that do this!!!!!!

“Traction control system” is a washtub full of sand in the trunk.

Your wife says “she’s game,” and you shoot her.

You’ve ever used duct tape to repair dental work.

You’ve unstopped a sink with a shotgun.

Your will states your wife can’t touch your money ‘til she’s fourteen.

You have to pass through a metal detector to get to a family reunion.

The last thing your ex-wife said was... “It’s me or them dogs.”

Your coffee table is also a cooler! Saw people at Auburn do this...

Your mailing address includes the word “holler.”

The first time you ever saw your wife in lingerie, you had to pay a

cover charge.

You’ve sold a car to settle a bar tab.

The best sofa you ever had came out of a Chevrolet.

You’ve ever used your bathtub as a punch bowl.

If the directions to your house contain the words "turn off the paved road".The same family that has the fly swatter in the front seat!!

If you have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.

If you have ever used a barstool as a walker.

If you have ever taken a beer to a funeral.

If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100K worth of upgrades.

[TrueTiger 0]

Ha Jenny.. Those are some good ones.. I have heard some of those before..

I like the coffee table idea ha...

And the fly swatter.. need to tell my mom cus she always used to reach back and pinch the crap out of me.. ha..

[BustemBigBlue 176]

Good ones. Here's a few more.

If you've ever used an ironing board as a buffet table.....

You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sisters' honor.......

Your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six pack and a bug zapper........

[bammanmr 0]

You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it.

Starting your car involves popping the hood.

You’ve ever used your bathtub as a punch bowl.

If the directions to your house contain the words "turn off the paved road".The same family that has the fly swatter in the front seat!!

For the first 2 - My first car was 15 years old when I got it (200.00) and after 200k miles not only did I have to pop the hood to get it going a few times, but it was made before those little prop-up rods under the hood, and the spings were broken that held it up. So yeah, I held the hood up a few times with my head too.

Next, I used the bathtub as a punch bowl more than a few times in college. Its hard to mix 3-4 hundred dollars worth of liquor and hawaiian punch in a real bowl (we did line it with plastic though).

Finally, I grew up on a farm in the sticks and until I was in the 5th grade we lived on a gravel road, then we got highclass and got a tar and gravel finish.

Ahhhh, the good old days.

[Tigermike 3,040]

If you own something like this!

[TrueTiger 0]

If you own something like this!

I did own it .. I sold it last week..

JK Ha..

[Tigermike 3,040]

I did own it .. I sold it last week..

JK Ha..

You sold that to buy the 4 runner?

[TrueTiger 0]

I did own it .. I sold it last week..

JK Ha..

You sold that to buy the 4 runner?

ha.. Yeah got a pretty dollar for her 2

Thinkin about gettin a 99 1/2 limited edition pathfinder..

[Tigermike 3,040]

You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach

the kids in the backseat. I have family that do this!!!!!!

You might be a redneck if you have entertained yourself with that fly swatter for an hour or more.