aubiefifty 16,821 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 alexcityoutlook.com Translating coach Malzahn at Media Days By Andy Graham 4 minutes Published 11:47 am Wednesday, July 19, 2017 I’ll finish up my preview of Auburn’s 2017 football schedule next week, because the aftermath of SEC Media Days demands some attention. After being the first coach on the podium the previous two years, Gus Malzahn had to patiently wait until the final day to have his say this year. No one’s ever going to confuse Malzahn with a bombastic Steve Spurrier or an enigmatic Les Miles. He is often times considered by many to be rather boring in press conference situations. That’s because most people aren’t fluent in coach-speak. I actually minored in that at Auburn so I feel it’s my duty to translate Malzahn’s comments for the public. Here are some quotes from last week attributed to Malzahn and their proper translation. Quote No. 1: “Just a quick recap of last year. We started out, we had some major adversity. I was real proud of our team, the way they rebounded. We went on a six-game win streak, and I really felt like we were playing as good as anybody in the country.” Translation No. 1: I totally screwed up the first game last year against Clemson and I was nearly as bad against Texas A&M in week three. Those two losses were completely my fault. I don’t even know what I was thinking not playing Kamryn Pettway against Clemson. That was really dumb, but we figured it out eventually. Quote No. 2: “We had some key injuries late. We kind of limped home. Just had that bad feeling the way we finished. We felt like we had a real opportunity there and just didn’t seize the moment.” Translation No. 2: Everything was going real well until Sean White got hurt against Ole Miss and Pettway went down against Vanderbilt. We had nothing remotely comparable as a backup to those two guys. I also fully admit the Georgia loss was one of the most horrifically ugly offensive performances in the history of mankind. Quote No. 3: “We hired Chip Lindsey. I’m excited about Chip. I got a lot of confidence in Chip. He’s going to provide more balance for us. And he’s a quarterback guru too.” Translation No. 3: We have been awful throwing the football the last two years and we desperately needed some help. I hired Chip Lindsey because he brings a much more sophisticated passing offense and he’s been pretty successful. He’s also supposed to be really good at working with quarterbacks. Considering every great high school QB I have recruited over the years has been abysmal in college, I thought it might be about time for a new quarterback coach. Quote No. 4: “Like I was saying, the biggest comfort right now is we have quality depth at the quarterback position. And we got two of the better quarterbacks, I feel like, and we got a young one in Malik Willis.” Translation No. 4: I know everyone wants me to name Jarrett Stidham as the starter, but I’m not going to do it right now. I also know no one believes me, but Sean White will have an opportunity to win the job in fall practice. We don’t expect him to and he probably won’t, but he’ll at least have a chance. We think Jarrett Stidham has a chance to be really, really good. Andy Graham is a regular columnist for The Outlook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakeBum 187 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Andy, stick to making crackers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToomersStreet 795 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 I like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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