My Hopes, Wishes, and Suggestions

[KolchakAU85 430]

In this post, I list some hopes, wishes, and suggestions I have for our beloved Auburn Tigers, based upon my take of the current state of the program, and courtesy of me having to take use-it-or-lose-it vacation from work this week, with nothing to do except relax, drink beer, ponder Auburn football, and peruse these forums.

In no particular order...

To OC Chip, I like you bro,
I wish you happy days,
But we and you, do know it's true,
It's best that we part ways.

Hey Shaun the Worm, I love you man,
I wish they'd make the call,
To put you in, and play to win,
And let you run the ball.

Receiving corps, we need you guys,
To pull out all the stops,
Spray on some glue, and work hard to,
Eliminate the drops.

And here's a thought, it just might help,
A wish for laid back Gus,
Please lose you cool, this ain't high school,
And spit or yell or cuss.

Hey football gods, I'd like to ask,
Please tell, how can it be?
I am confused, how could we lose,
To freaking Tennessee?

To our DBs, please hear our cries,
And harken to our calls,
Don't be inept, please intercept,
Some 50-50 balls.

To our D-line, some moves you need,
Sometimes you look like hacks,
Stick to the plan, dispatch your man,
And get some QB sacks.

Our field goal team, it needs some help,
Sometimes it can seem lame,
Hey Anders C, we sure need 3,
When Malzahn calls your name.

For Jarret S, to him I'd say,
Since you're not having fun,
I wish you'd soar, and make way for,  
A QB who can run.

Hey Asa man, Gus did you wrong,
He's dumb, that much is clear,
I hope and pray, that extra play,
Won't kill your redshirt year.

For Kelly B, I have a wish,
A goal I'd like to set,
That he would come, 'cause he's no bum,
And give us dual threat.

For Hugh the friend, of HC Gus,
AU's the place to be,
Come coach the O, you name the dough,
We'll pay it gleefully.

For Kevin Steele, our good DC,
Our D's no longer lame,
I wish galore, you'd DC'd for,
Our '13 title game.

For Will and Stove, I hope you're back,
But even if you're not,
I wish you ease, and healthy knees,
And catches by the lot.

Hey Waffle House, I wish next time,
Gus comes in for a bite,
That you'd withold, and let get cold,
His fav'rite meal for spite.

And for us all, I make this wish,
I'm tired of this damned bus,
A lot of bucks, I know it sucks,
A buyout paid to Gus.

Deshaun the Man, I wish for you,
An NFL career,
You backed the line, with play sublime,
And made opponents fear.

Hey Bammers all, I sure do hope,
Your new year's void of glee,
And that you fall, and drop the ball,
And lose the CFP.

To Tammy B, I'll miss you dear,
Much thanks for being real,
You shredded Paul, in every call,
With never-ending zeal.

[AUpreacherman22 3,899]

Well done, sir!

[Barnacle 9,064]

5 hours ago, KolchakAU85 said:

In this post, I list some hopes, wishes, and suggestions I have for our beloved Auburn Tigers, based upon my take of the current state of the program, and courtesy of me having to take use-it-or-lose-it vacation from work this week, with nothing to do except relax, drink beer, ponder Auburn football, and peruse these forums.

In no particular order...

To OC Chip, I like you bro,
I wish you happy days,
But we and you, do know it's true,
It's best that we part ways.

Hey Shaun the Worm, I love you man,
I wish they'd make the call,
To put you in, and play to win,
And let you run the ball.

Receiving corps, we need you guys,
To pull out all the stops,
Spray on some glue, and work hard to,
Eliminate the drops.

And here's a thought, it just might help,
A wish for laid back Gus,
Please lose you cool, this ain't high school,
And spit or yell or cuss.

Hey football gods, I'd like to ask,
Please tell, how can it be?
I am confused, how could we lose,
To freaking Tennessee?

To our DBs, please hear our cries,
And harken to our calls,
Don't be inept, please intercept,
Some 50-50 balls.

To our D-line, some moves you need,
Sometimes you look like hacks,
Stick to the plan, dispatch your man,
And get some QB sacks.

Our field goal team, it needs some help,
Sometimes it can seem lame,
Hey Anders C, we sure need 3,
When Malzahn calls your name.

For Jarret S, to him I'd say,
Since you're not having fun,
I wish you'd soar, and make way for,  
A QB who can run.

Hey Asa man, Gus did you wrong,
He's dumb, that much is clear,
I hope and pray, that extra play,
Won't kill your redshirt year.

For Kelly B, I have a wish,
A goal I'd like to set,
That he would come, 'cause he's no bum,
And give us dual threat.

For Hugh the friend, of HC Gus,
AU's the place to be,
Come coach the O, you name the dough,
We'll pay it gleefully.

For Kevin Steele, our good DC,
Our D's no longer lame,
I wish galore, you'd DC'd for,
Our '13 title game.

For Will and Stove, I hope you're back,
But even if you're not,
I wish you ease, and healthy knees,
And catches by the lot.

Hey Waffle House, I wish next time,
Gus comes in for a bite,
That you'd withold, and let get cold,
His fav'rite meal for spite.

And for us all, I make this wish,
I'm tired of this damned bus,
A lot of bucks, I know it sucks,
A buyout paid to Gus.

Deshaun the Man, I wish for you,
An NFL career,
You backed the line, with play sublime,
And made opponents fear.

Hey Bammers all, I sure do hope,
Your new year's void of glee,
And that you fall, and drop the ball,
And lose the CFP.

To Tammy B, I'll miss you dear,
Much thanks for being real,
You shredded Paul, in every call,
With never-ending zeal.

Be honest...you wrote this on the toilet didn't you?

[KolchakAU85 430]

9 hours ago, Barnacle said:

Be honest...you wrote this on the toilet didn't you?

Not exactly, but I had to take a couple pee breaks while writing it.

[jj3jordan 2,099]

Well put sir. This needs to go national.