Left Coast Rules For Dealing with

[Jenny AU-92 0]

California and San Francisco laws state clearly that you're not allowed to use deadly force or any kind of force whatsoever against an intruder. Follow these rules, and you'll avoid a lengthy jail term of your own.

* Approach intruder in non-threatening manner.

* Do not touch intruder - that's assault.

* When addressing intruder, do not use insulting or denigrating terms about their gender, sexual preference, race, religion, or political views unless they are a Republican.

* If the intruder is brandishing a firearm, ask to see his registration and license.

* If the intruder is harmed during his visit to your home, you are responsible for medical bills.

* Point out any signage that the intruder may have missed that was meant to warn the intruder that this was not a location they are authorized to enter.

* If the intruder has taken any materials, show receipts and insurance photographs clearly demonstrating your ownership of those items.

* In the event that the intruder is assaulting your daughter, provide a birth certificate and an alternate form of identification to the intruder/assailant to advise them that they may be illegally engaging in sex with a minor.

* Should the intruder engage in sexual activity with your daughter, as the "host" of the activity you are responsible for providing condoms.

* If the intruder shoots or stabs you, make sure that any drained fluids do not negatively impact the environment or threaten any endangered species.

Texas Rule: (A Jenny Original)

* Be sure to ascertain whether or not the intruder is still breathing before emptying another clip into his worthless carcass. No sense in wasting ammo.

[Tigermike 3,054]

* When addressing intruder, do not use insulting or denigrating terms about their gender, sexual preference, race, religion, or political views unless they are a Republican

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To support this statement, I present the following link.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file...05/11/SUPES.TMP