Out of ideas for the family vacation?

[Tiger in Spain 0]

The first thing you notice is the cow. Like the great Trojan horse, the giant faux animal rolls down the street, barely clearing power lines, carrying a small army of children insider her belly.

“What do you kids do in there?”

“We throw t-shirts and cow chips.”

Silly me. What else would be dropped from the derrière of a 20-foot tall cow? Cow chips and t-shirts, each item promoting the Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw held in Sauk City every Labor Day weekend.

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“We find a farm that has the right kind of chips, beef cattle that are grass fed,” said Slotty with the kind of confidence that only comes with experience. “If they’re fed with corn, the chips are too watery and they dry out like newspaper and you can’t throw em. Got to have a little texture to it, so grass fed works best.

“The competitors are looking for a chip about six inches around and inch or so thick. They want some weight to it. They throw it overhand like a baseball then it starts to act like a Frisbee.”

Considering giving it a try?

No gloves allowed.

Here’s the inside, er, scoop on how to get the edge on your competitor.

“Lick your fingers before you throw to get a good grip,” Slotty offered.

“Lick ‘em after to clean them off.”

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