5 kinds of sex...

[autigger 0]

1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen while she's trying to wash the dishes.

3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "F*** you!"

5) The fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex.This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

[Tiger Al 0]

I've heard the first four, but never in the courtroom!!!

[DKW 86 7,439]

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, unfortunately.

[Tigermike 3,047]

At my divorce procedings I asked the Judge, "We haven't had sex in three years, why are you letting her screw me now?"

The Judge didn't think it was funny.

[texaubie 0]

At my divorce procedings I asked the Judge, "We haven't had sex in three years, why are you letting her screw me now?" 

Now that's funny!

[TrueTiger 0]

lol..

[DKW 86 7,439]

They should have printed my divorce decree on toilet paper, that way when my ex- wiped her butt on it, it would have at least held some real purpose in this world.

Woman systematically broke every agreement we made in the thing.

[Tigermike 3,047]

Who was it that said, "I'm not going to get married again, I will just find a woman I hate & give her my damn house!"

[DKW 86 7,439]

Who was it that said, "I'm not going to get married again, I will just find a woman I hate & give her my damn house!" 

:roflol: :roflol:

[CCTAU 3,338]

Who was it that said, "I'm not going to get married again, I will just find a woman I hate & give her my damn house!"

Would that have been Lewis Grizzard?

And David...at least you got the t-shirt!!