Neighbor's garage door remote triggers erection

[Tiger in Spain 0]

Garage door remote triggers man's erection

Hard luck for implant chap

An anonymous Merseyside man who had an implant to "help with erection problems" has found he becomes uncontrollably aroused every time his neighbour pulls up in his 4X4, the Scottish Daily Record reports.

The spontaneous hardening is due not to a Liverpudlian all-terrain fetish, but rather to the car owner's garage door remote which, well, here's a transcript of the conversation the poor chap had with BBC Radio Merseyside host Roger Phillips when he rather splendidly chose to share his woes with the world:

CALLER: I had a problem with impotence and I had an operation in Turkey and got an implant which would help.

HOST: I know the sort of thing.

CALLER: But what is happening now is every time my neighbour comes back in their 4 x 4, I get an erection.

HOST: Good Lord.

CALLER: This is embarrassing. It's a big problem.

HOST: Have you been to see your doctor about it?

CALLER: The problem is I had this done in Turkey, using equipment that is not known in this country. I don't like it because every time his car pulls in I can't leave the house.

HOST: (Laughing) I'm afraid that it sounds funny as well. I know it's not funny for you.

CALLER: It's not funny for me, Roger, when I can't leave the house because I'm walking around with a big erection.

HOST: You're going to have to go and see a doctor.

Terrific, although quite what your average GP is going to make of the first recorded case of "Turkish garage door remote spontaneous priapism syndrome" is anyone's guess.

Bootnote

Thanks to Richard Corney for the tip-off. No, we're not sure that the caller wasn't pulling listeners' plonkers, either...

Link

[otterinbham 0]

Kind of gives new meaning to "Hey, honey, let's park the Buick."

[Ranger12 46]

Parking it in the garage.

[CCTAU 3,336]

They make remote control penises? What happens if your friends steal it one night while you are drunk?

[Tigermike 3,044]

They make remote control penises? What happens if your friends steal it one night while you are drunk?

250249[/snapback]

In that situation, be careful when standing in line.

[quietfan 233]

So Turkey is a world leader in bionic penis technology...??

Maybe oil isn't the most important resource from the Middle East.

[Tiger in Spain 0]

I wonder if they could create one that operated off "The Clapper" technology?

[Ranger12 46]

I wonder if they could create one that operated off "The Clapper" technology?

250478[/snapback]

Would that give new meaning to "having the clap"?

[quietfan 233]

Turns out things could be worse:

http://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/index.html

The Rhode Island Supreme Court in June affirmed a $400,000 judgment for Charles Lennon, 68, who had sued the now-bankrupt Dacomed company after his Dura-II penile implant remained constantly erect for 10 years. Lennon said embarrassment had forced him to become a recluse.

(or, I suppose, "better" depending on your attitude.)

[AWK 0]

I wonder if they could create one that operated off "The Clapper" technology?

250478[/snapback]

Would that give new meaning to "having the clap"?

250594[/snapback]

I thought yall already got the clap(per) from that shore leave in Guam '79?

[GalensGhost 0]

They make remote control penises?

250249[/snapback]

I've got one question, just random curiosity, nothing more. Any chance Johnny Depp has one of those things?

[WarTim 3,456]

You guys are killin' me!

p.s. Someone owes me $$$ for keyboard cleaning/replacement.

[quietfan 233]

Turns out things could be worse:

http://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/index.html

The Rhode Island Supreme Court in June affirmed a $400,000 judgment for Charles Lennon, 68, who had sued the now-bankrupt Dacomed company after his Dura-II penile implant remained constantly erect for 10 years. Lennon said embarrassment had forced him to become a recluse.

(or, I suppose, "better" depending on your attitude.)

250675[/snapback]

A later thought on my part: At what point in this TEN YEAR! time frame do you start thinking "This doesn't seem right, maybe I should sue the company"?

[otterinbham 0]

I wonder if they could create one that operated off "The Clapper" technology?

250478[/snapback]

Would that give new meaning to "having the clap"?

250594[/snapback]

I can see the commercial now:

VISUAL: Open with medium shot on elderly couple's bedroom.

CHORUS: Clap on! Clap Off!

VISUAL: Close up of elderly lady with gleam in her eye.

VISUAL: Close up of lady clapping in time to jingle.

VISUAL: Close up of crotch in old man's pajamas as a tent begins to form.

VISUAL: Close up of old man with grin.

VISUAL: Close up of old lady with bawd's grin.

LADY: Rowr! Rowr!

VISUAL: Close up of old lady turning off lamp.

CHORUS: Clap on! Clap Off!

ANNOUNCER: The Clapper. Now in Small, Medium, and "Oh My God, Does That Come In White?" At a retailer near you.