Bon Voyage Alec Baldwin

[BustemBigBlue 178]

FRIENDS, God bless you all--I am trying to be as gracious in victory as

> Dubya was but the devil made me send this to you!

>

> We at Carnival Cruise Lines are not forgetting that a lot of entertainers

> promised to leave the country if George W.Bush were to be re-elected

> President.

>

> With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to

keep

> their promise!

>

> Attention: Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her "wife", Ed Asner,

Janneane

> Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue,

> Rob Reiner(apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda,

> and the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who made that

> promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the

> sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been commissioned to

> take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.

>

> You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq or some similar sunny

> location.

>

> The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor

> through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.

>

> Please pack for an extended stay... at least FOUR MORE YEARS.

>

> Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.

>

> Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, John Edwards as cruise

> director, and Gray Davis, as Purser (the guy in charge of managing the

> money). "Teh-RAY-sah" Heinz Kerry hopefully will be shoved somewhere below

> decks away from the media.

>

> Monica Lewinsky will be the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl". Entertainment will

> be provided by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen, and movies will be

> shown each evening by Michael Moore.

>

> John Kerry will be our Life Guard based on his past experience of pulling

> people out of the water. He is also in charge of games and has eliminated

> "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game he calls "waffleboard". Be sure to

> pack your flip flops as you will need them while playing.

>

> Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and back-up Life Guard. He only

> qualifies as back-up Life Guard since his experience in rescuing people

from

> drowning has not been too successful.

>

> Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will provide inspirational services,

and

> Al Franken will give inspirational talks each afternoon.

>

> If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes,

friends

> and loved ones, please contact Senator Hillary Clinton. Her "village" can

> raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your

money

> and your furnishings until you return.

>

> "Bon Voyage!"