Explaining the birds and the bees

[Ranger12 46]

A few weeks ago, my ex-wife asks me to have "the talk" with my son. I thought it was way to early for that seeing how he is 8 years old. She explained to me that he has been asking some questions. I had noticed before that if a commerical comes on TV that has a scantly clad woman on it, he would stop and stare, but thought I was just being paranoid. Apparently my ex-wife had noticed the same thing. Well, this was going to be a first for me because that issue was handled by my teenage girls mom, as it should have been. So, I start doing some research online to make sure that he was not too young and to see how the "experts" suggested approaching the subject. Surprisingly, it is suggested to have the talk between 8-11 years old or when the child starts asking questions or showing some type of interest in the opposite sex. Heck, I found out that in the 5th grade, they seperate the boys and girls and show them videos!

So, I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to do this. I never had the talk from my dad and I wish I would have. I had the talk with my son and I tried to avoid using the scientic names for the major reproductive organs as I though those were words he did not need to really learn, just as long as he understood the concept. As I was talking to him, he just had this blank stare the whole time and I could just see the gears going in his little brain trying to grasp this. I would stop and make sure he understood and ask him if he had any questions. After it was all done, he did admit that it was a little gross to him, but he also said he has seen grosser things in TV. I tell you guys, I have did presentations out the butt and I have taught kids and adults, but this was the hardest talk I have ever had to do in my life. I was hoping to have a couple of more years to prepare, but life is pretty good at changing our plans. For all you parents that have young children and are yet to have the talk, I feel for you. It is good to prepare, but no amount of preparation can make the talk any easier. I am kind of sad because I feel like because of me, by son may have crossed into a less innocent part of his life because of the knowledge he now holds and its my fault. I just hope I have not screwed up and scarred my little man.

[AUJarhead 70]

I think the fact you took the time to have this talk speaks highly of you and your family.

And if he gets out of line, I'm sure you know some good Ranger things to put him in his place.

[Blonde Wasabi 0]

Ranger things?? Try the Demon Step-mom Big eye That works well. He's probably so scarred by his little talk that he may be well behaved for the rest of his life for fear of another chat with dad. This is why Ranger and I will be having a little girl.

[otterinbham 0]

My dad wimped out and sent me to a class at the nearby Methodist church. I have to admit that I'm glad he did, however, because it was embarrassing enough to learn about that stuff with kids I knew--But from my FATHER? However, it was a little weird to learn about the ins and outs of getting my bobo honked in a Sunday school classroom with a painting of Jesus staring down at me from up on the wall. It might be the most surreal moment of my life.

However, you're a good dad. I have two sons myself, and I'm dreading The Talk.

[AUslug 1]

My talk consisted of "If you have any questions, ask".

[Ranger12 46]

However, you're a good dad. I have two sons myself, and I'm dreading The Talk.

250994[/snapback]

Honestly, I thought I would be able to jump right into it once we got started. The problem I ran into is trying to explain it without sounding like I was describing a pornographic scene. Choosing the correct words to use so that he little brain could understand it, but not have the crap scared out of him was the hardest thing to do. I used to laugh at people who got a nervous when they talked about having to do this, but now I completely know what they are talking about. In the future, you will have my complete sympathy.

[Captain Liger 0]

I remember the "talk" with my dad. I was 21 at the time... kidding.

My dad's talk had absolutely nothing to do with HOW to do it. I believe I was in the 4th grade (?) and I remember he was visibly nervous and he kept reiterating that when a man and woman love each other they bring children into the world but you only do it if you are married. Again, no tips on how to do it but stern instructions to just wait till you're married. I think I was in 6th or 7th grade when I learned how it's done courtesy of a porn stash my buddy found in his dad's dresser.

If you can believe it, cause it sounds ridiculous, I actually know guys whose fathers took them to a strip joint to have the talk. Seriously.

[GalensGhost 0]

My dad wimped out and sent me to a class at the nearby Methodist church. I have to admit that I'm glad he did, however, because it was embarrassing enough to learn about that stuff with kids I knew--But from my FATHER? However, it was a little weird to learn about the ins and outs of getting my bobo honked in a Sunday school classroom with a painting of Jesus staring down at me from up on the wall. It might be the most surreal moment of my life.

However, you're a good dad. I have two sons myself, and I'm dreading The Talk.

250994[/snapback]

Gotta love the Methodist Church (I'm a methodist).

They get right to the important parts -- bobo honking.

I don't want to hear anything about it. I've got two girls. My wife insists that I participate in those "conversations." I've done one and am gearing up for the second one in a couple of years.

[Ranger12 46]

Gotta love the Methodist Church (I'm a methodist). 

They get right to the important parts -- bobo honking.

I don't want to hear anything about it.  I've got two girls.  My wife insists that I participate in those "conversations."  I've done one and am gearing up for the second one in a couple of years.

251094[/snapback]

Must be a United Methodist thing, because I got to an Independent Methodist Church and we don't even talk about it at all.

Bro, there is no way I could have taken part in my daughter's talk. It was tough enough to do this with my son. I could not imagine talking with my daughter about her female role in the process. <Shivers>. If I would have I probably would have included that if any guy does touch her before she is married, her father will put they guy six feet under, after a few days of torture.

[GalensGhost 0]

Gotta love the Methodist Church (I'm a methodist). 

They get right to the important parts -- bobo honking.

I don't want to hear anything about it.  I've got two girls.  My wife insists that I participate in those "conversations."  I've done one and am gearing up for the second one in a couple of years.

251094[/snapback]

Must be a United Methodist thing, because I got to an Independent Methodist Church and we don't even talk about it at all.

Bro, there is no way I could have taken part in my daughter's talk. It was tough enough to do this with my son. I could not imagine talking with my daughter about her female role in the process. <Shivers>. If I would have I probably would have included that if any guy does touch her before she is married, her father will put they guy six feet under, after a few days of torture.

251105[/snapback]

There was no discussion of bobo honking, I tell you that. I figure she can learn about that at church. United Methodist.

If that was discussed between her and her mom it was long after I crawled out of the room. For my part there was no mention of anything other than the required missionary and its necessity in childbearing. No discussion of reverse cowboy, sidesaddle, headstand 69, toys-buzz-us or any of that. If they got into the "fun" parts, I wanted nothing to do with it.

[Bottomfeeder 244]

There is another perspective, God's perspective. The reason we are to keep our virginity until marriage, is so we don't have anything to compare to our married sex life. It's true. There will be no wondering of the mind, which is the place where sin starts.

[otterinbham 0]

Well, chastity before marriage was all well and good 100 years ago, when people were typically married at age 16-17. But today? When people are getting married at 28? Heck no.

[GalensGhost 0]

There is another perspective, God's perspective. The reason we are to keep our virginity until marriage, is so we don't have anything to compare to our married sex life. It's true. There will be no wondering of the mind, which is the place where sin starts.

251145[/snapback]

I don't have to have done it to wonder, my friend Ever heard of Jesse Jane? The mind does wonder. And wander...

WARNING: Do NOT google Jesse Jane unless your family filter is on.

[Ranger12 46]

BF, when I had my talk, I explained that is was something saved for marriage. I hope you are not thinking having the talk is something that should not be done because it promotes sex out of wedlock. If you that is your line of thought, I feel for you. A kids hormones is going to start acting up, regardless of his faith. The key is to explain to the kid why he or she starts having certain things happen to their body before they learn it from some perverted classmate. My parents did not have that talk, and I was like too many young pre-teen boys and learned it the wrong way. I had an uncle who still lived with my grandma and he had a stash of dirty magazines under his bed. We would sneak them out and go into the woods to read them. When those big freakin' satellites came around, my best friend, who was also my "neighbor" (he lived in the house across the pasture), his dad had one of those blackbox receivers that got everything for free. We would sneak and watch the adult channels. That was my sex education and it gave me a perverted view of sex as a teenager and young adult. Unfortunately, alot of teenage boys have the same education as I did. I swore my son was not going to find out the same way and he would not battle the same demons I did. I want him to grow up educated, but also in the way that God intended for it to be. Like G2 said, you do not have to have done the deed to wonder about it.

[GalensGhost 0]

BF, when I had my talk, I explained that is was something saved for marriage. I hope you are not thinking having the talk is something that should not be done because it promotes sex out of wedlock. If you that is your line of thought, I feel for you. A kids hormones is going to start acting up, regardless of his faith. The key is to explain to the kid why he or she starts having certain things happen to their body before they learn it from some perverted classmate. My parents did not have that talk, and I was like too many young pre-teen boys and learned it the wrong way. I had an uncle who still lived with my grandma and he had a stash of dirty magazines under his bed. We would sneak them out and go into the woods to read them. When those big freakin' satellites came around, my best friend, who was also my "neighbor" (he lived in the house across the pasture), his dad had one of those blackbox receivers that got everything for free. We would sneak and watch the adult channels. That was my sex education and it gave me a perverted view of sex as a teenager and young adult. Unfortunately, alot of teenage boys have the same education as I did. I swore my son was not going to find out the same way and he would not battle the same demons I did. I want him to grow up educated, but also in the way that God intended for it to be. Like G2 said, you do not have to have done the deed to wonder about it.

251170[/snapback]

I shouldn't have posted that pic.

I had somebody tell me to check out Jesse Jane. I saw some pictures of her where she looked just dazzling. Sweet and sexy. And then... well, some that were quite shocking.

Like ranger says, we all have our demons. Mine is curiosity. I like to know things. I wonder what makes a beautiful girl like Jesse tick. Why would she subject herself to that kind of life? What possesses her to use sex as a tool? Granted, it's made her rich. It's made her famous. But at what price?

[Ranger12 46]

I shouldn't have posted that pic.

I had somebody tell me to check out Jesse Jane. I saw some pictures of her where she looked just dazzling. Sweet and sexy.  And then... well, some that were quite shocking. 

Like ranger says, we all have our demons.  Mine is curiosity. I like to know things.  I wonder what makes a beautiful girl like Jesse tick. Why would she subject herself to that kind of life? What possesses her to use sex as a tool? Granted, it's made her rich. It's made her famous. But at what price?

251182[/snapback]

It didn't bother me if that is what you may have been thinking. Thankfully, I got victory over those demons in my mid twenties with God's help. Through all that, I learned a sad truth. There are way too many men in this country that were exposed to sex the same way I was and struggle with the same thing all the way through adulthood. The other sad fact is that most never get control of it. It is the number one addiction for adult men! For some reason, you don't see that fact talked about much in newspapers, etc. Maybe has something to do with the industry being such a big money making business that somebody is afraid to call it what it is...a disease that is rotting this country. I pray everday that my son has a different view of sex then I did growing up.

[Bottomfeeder 244]

BF, when I had my talk, I explained that is was something saved for marriage. I hope you are not thinking having the talk is something that should not be done because it promotes sex out of wedlock. If you that is your line of thought, I feel for you.

251170[/snapback]

No, I wasn't saying that at all. Having that talking is part of being honest with your children concerning the consequences of choices that will affect them the rest of their lives. It's necessary for their protection. The risks of STDs may have to be brought up as a reinforcement of what has already been disclosed. Just trying to help, that's all.

[Bottomfeeder 244]

I shouldn't have posted that pic.

I had somebody tell me to check out Jesse Jane. I saw some pictures of her where she looked just dazzling. Sweet and sexy.  And then... well, some that were quite shocking. 

Like ranger says, we all have our demons.  Mine is curiosity. I like to know things.  I wonder what makes a beautiful girl like Jesse tick. Why would she subject herself to that kind of life? What possesses her to use sex as a tool? Granted, it's made her rich. It's made her famous. But at what price?

251182[/snapback]

It didn't bother me if that is what you may have been thinking. Thankfully, I got victory over those demons in my mid twenties with God's help. Through all that, I learned a sad truth. There are way too many men in this country that were exposed to sex the same way I was and struggle with the same thing all the way through adulthood. The other sad fact is that most never get control of it. It is the number one addiction for adult men! For some reason, you don't see that fact talked about much in newspapers, etc. Maybe has something to do with the industry being such a big money making business that somebody is afraid to call it what it is...a disease that is rotting this country. I pray everday that my son has a different view of sex then I did growing up.

251215[/snapback]

Well said.

[Ranger12 46]

BF, when I had my talk, I explained that is was something saved for marriage. I hope you are not thinking having the talk is something that should not be done because it promotes sex out of wedlock. If you that is your line of thought, I feel for you.

251170[/snapback]

No, I wasn't saying that at all. Having that talking is part of being honest with your children concerning the consequences of choices that will affect them the rest of their lives. It's necessary for their protection. The risks of STDs may have to be brought up as a reinforcement of what has already been disclosed. Just trying to help, that's all.

251220[/snapback]

Okay, cool. Just making sure what you meant.

[saniflush 0]

Maybe you can use this tool....No pun intended.

Link

[Bottomfeeder 244]

Maybe you can use this tool....No pun intended.

Link

251301[/snapback]

LOL! Good illustration.