otterinbham 0 Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 If Elected, I Will Have The Hottest First Lady In U.S. History By Sen. Fred Thompson Presidential Candidate October 17, 2007 | Issue 43•4 My fellow Americans, in the coming presidential election, the voters of this nation will plot a course for the future. There are many candidates, each of whom brings a different vision of that future. But only one has the conviction and strength to lead this great country. Only one is a popular television and film actor ready to face the challenges of the 21st century head-on. And, most importantly, there is only one candidate with a bombshell trophy wife nearly a quarter-century younger than himself. I urge each and every one of you to run a Google image search and see the evidence for yourself: photo after photo of a tall but wrinkled and sagging 64-year-old manâ€â€that's meâ€â€standing at various gala events, his arm wrapped around a stunning woman with glowing orange skin and beautiful platinum- highlighted hair. A bold woman, squeezed into a dress with a plunging neckline so low her enormous breasts seem almost ready to leap out and scream, "Hey worldâ€â€look at us! We are married to a famous man we saw in Die Hard 2 when we were in college!" That's her, ladies and gentlemen. That's my wife. Yes, we are actually married. If elected, I pledge that same womanâ€â€who is a full six years younger than my eldest sonâ€â€will be by my side at all state dinners, dressed to the nines, causing the Chinese delegation's jaws to drop in amazement at her gravity-defying rack. This is my solemn vow to all Americans. I am aware of the critics who doubt my ability to deliver on this promise. "What about Jackie Kennedy?" they ask. "Wasn't she a hotter first lady?" If all America cares about is hotness from the neck up, then yes. Though Jackie looked good in a pillbox hat, she never possessed that I-have-obvious-father-issues sort of hotness the people of this country appreciate so deeply. Go on, close your eyes and try picturing Jackie Kennedy on the cover of some magazine spilling out of a bikini. You can't do it, can you? Now try the same mental experiment with Mrs. Fred. The results speak for themselves. I say America deserves hotter. I am a man of simple conservative values, values I learned sitting around the kitchen table with my grandfather. It was there, at the age of 9, that he told me, "Boy, one day, you will find true love with a woman who will be born in about 15 years. Promise Jesus that when you marry her in your late 50s you will be true." I intend to honor that promise. In my many years in Hollywood and Washington, I've been with country-western singers, actresses, and models. America, I even once saw Nicole Kidman's bush when I accidentally walked into her trailer on the set of Days of Thunder, in which I played the role of Big John. But despite it all, I've grown to value and cherish my wife more than any star****** I've ever known. Because my wife is so much more than just a sweet slice, sweet though she may be. She is a mother who has given me two beautiful children, whom I adore, even if they do get confused sometimes and call me "Grandpa." But I know that in the Thompson household, when I ask the question, "Who's your daddy?" there is always one person I can rely on to scream out my name. This is my guarantee to you, the voters. If you elect me as your next president, you will see this woman on TV nearly every day, jogging around the Rose Garden in tight Lycra shorts, bouncing all over the place with a figure that Americans of every stripeâ€â€from surgeons to truckersâ€â€will want to nail. Yours will be a first lady who is not only hot enough to appear in Playboy, but who might actually be willing to appear in Playboy. And if you choose me to be your next president, that is exactly what she'll do, in the November 2012 issue, guaranteeing me a second term once the public gets a good look at those truly incredible bazongas. Thank you, and God bless America Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiger88 934 Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TitanTiger 20,511 Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otterinbham 0 Posted October 22, 2007 Author Share Posted October 22, 2007 This photo in particular gives me the creeps. Man, Fred looks like a ghoul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiger88 934 Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Man he looks old and it makes me wonder about his health looking at those pictures. Maybe it's just the contrast of him posing with his granddaughter, I mean wife. You go Fred. She favors some actress a little. Jessica Alba or someone like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger Al 0 Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 CIALIS is the only prescription erectile dysfunction tablet clinically proven to go to work fast, in as little as 30 minutes for some men, and work up to 36 hours. With CIALIS, you can be ready when the moment is right. What?...OH!!!...Thompson's platform for ELECTION! Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otterinbham 0 Posted October 22, 2007 Author Share Posted October 22, 2007 CIALIS is the only prescription erectile dysfunction tablet clinically proven to go to work fast, in as little as 30 minutes for some men, and work up to 36 hours. With CIALIS, you can be ready when the moment is right. What?...OH!!!...Thompson's platform for ELECTION! Sorry. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I mean, don't get me wrong. Bully for Fred that he's making the beast with two backs with a certifiable hottie like that. But outside of his babealicious wife, what else does he have going for him? Can anybody else answer that cotton-picking question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auburn85 432 Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 has anyone seen Dennis Kucinich's wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasTiger 13,030 Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 CIALIS is the only prescription erectile dysfunction tablet clinically proven to go to work fast, in as little as 30 minutes for some men, and work up to 36 hours. With CIALIS, you can be ready when the moment is right. What?...OH!!!...Thompson's platform for ELECTION! Sorry. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I mean, don't get me wrong. Bully for Fred that he's making the beast with two backs with a certifiable hottie like that. But outside of his babealicious wife, what else does he have going for him? Can anybody else answer that cotton-picking question? Cute face, but kinda chunky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otterinbham 0 Posted October 23, 2007 Author Share Posted October 23, 2007 CIALIS is the only prescription erectile dysfunction tablet clinically proven to go to work fast, in as little as 30 minutes for some men, and work up to 36 hours. With CIALIS, you can be ready when the moment is right. What?...OH!!!...Thompson's platform for ELECTION! Sorry. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I mean, don't get me wrong. Bully for Fred that he's making the beast with two backs with a certifiable hottie like that. But outside of his babealicious wife, what else does he have going for him? Can anybody else answer that cotton-picking question? Cute face, but kinda chunky. Who? Fred or the wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasTiger 13,030 Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 CIALIS is the only prescription erectile dysfunction tablet clinically proven to go to work fast, in as little as 30 minutes for some men, and work up to 36 hours. With CIALIS, you can be ready when the moment is right. What?...OH!!!...Thompson's platform for ELECTION! Sorry. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I mean, don't get me wrong. Bully for Fred that he's making the beast with two backs with a certifiable hottie like that. But outside of his babealicious wife, what else does he have going for him? Can anybody else answer that cotton-picking question? Cute face, but kinda chunky. Who? Fred or the wife? Fred ain't cute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CCTAU 3,350 Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 CIALIS is the only prescription erectile dysfunction tablet clinically proven to go to work fast, in as little as 30 minutes for some men, and work up to 36 hours. With CIALIS, you can be ready when the moment is right. What?...OH!!!...Thompson's platform for ELECTION! Sorry. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I mean, don't get me wrong. Bully for Fred that he's making the beast with two backs with a certifiable hottie like that. But outside of his babealicious wife, what else does he have going for him? Can anybody else answer that cotton-picking question? His voice, her uh..assets. Both of which give me comfortable and reassuring feeling. GO FRED! ANSWERED! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinCrimson 61 Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 Want to ensure a Clinton presidency? Nominate Fred Thompson. While I disagree with him on some key issues, I like him overall. My opinion of him won't win him any states, though. Fred was dead before he was even born. This is the biggest lost cause since Howard Dean '04. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLAG-91 1,483 Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 I'd say ol' Dennis outkicked his coverage by about 80 yards, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otterinbham 0 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Share Posted October 25, 2007 Can anybody actually tell me what Fred Thompson stands for? I keep asking his supporters, and nobody can actually tell me anything. Yeah, Ronald Reagan was an actor, but he understood economics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinCrimson 61 Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 I know that he, along with Ron Paul, is against tort reform. That's good enough for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otterinbham 0 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Share Posted October 25, 2007 I know that he, along with Ron Paul, is against tort reform. That's good enough for me. Advocating tort reform is like being for nice weather. Everybody's for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinCrimson 61 Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 No, he's actually not for it. Thompson and Paul are the only two GOP candidates to grow a pair and voice opposition to taking power away from juries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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