Jump to content

The Legendary "Kick 'Em in the Nuts" thread

AUAeroEngineer

By AUAeroEngineer
in All Things Considered...

Recommended Posts





  • Replies 1.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Easybake Mentor

Easybake 0

Posted
Posted

weird how my importance as a person is very, but I'm not a VIP. Yall should be honored that I post here  ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AUAeroEngineer Founding Father

AUAeroEngineer 0

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Westie I like your "Bandwagon" fandom of Rory.

  :tease: :tease: :tease: :tease: :tease: :tease:

Hey, your cheering for the school that just won the national championship, so you've got no room to talk sidewalk fan!  :tease::laugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AuburnEngineer Founding Father

AuburnEngineer 0

Posted
Posted

Westie I like your "Bandwagon" fandom of Rory.

  :tease: :tease: :tease: :tease: :tease: :tease:

I jumped on the bandwagon when I saw him in the Masters :rolleyes: And unlike most "bandwagon" fans.. I won't jump off.

Didn't he choke the masters away?  If you're still a fan after that then I'll give it to ya! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BornaTiger Founding Father

BornaTiger 0

Posted
Posted

Sometimes, them engineers see things we don't...

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AuburnEngineer Founding Father

AuburnEngineer 0

Posted
Posted

Sometimes, them engineers see things we don't...

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Haha thats a good one Born

What have you been up to Born?  I havn't heard from you in quite a while now!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BornaTiger Founding Father

BornaTiger 0

Posted
Posted

I've been around! I've also been pretty busy, between my son (he is insane and running me ragged) and my latest project (98 Cobra). I just don't have as much free time on my hands.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
mustache eagle Founding Father

mustache eagle 2,414

Posted
Posted

Sometimes, them engineers see things we don't...

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

:thumbsup:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BornaTiger Founding Father

BornaTiger 0

Posted
Posted

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation and handed his ticket to the medicine man. The medicine man slowly, methodically, produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, 'This is powerful medicine. It must be respected. You take only teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want." The old man was encouraged.

As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until next full moon."

The old man was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, " 1-2-3!"

Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BornaTiger Founding Father

BornaTiger 0

Posted
Posted

The Louisiana State Police had received numerous reports of illegal cockfights being held in the area around Abbeville and had sent their famous Detective Boudreaux from Thibodeaux to investigate.

Boudreaux promptly began his investigation and then reported to his Commander the next morning.

"Dey is tree main groups involve in dis rooster Fightin", he began.

"Good work! Who are they?" the Commander asked. Boudreaux replied confidently, "De Texas Aggies, de local Cajuns, and de Mafia from N'awlins".

Puzzled, the Commander asked, "Now Boudreaux, how did you find all that out in one night?"

"Well," he replied, "I went down and done seen dat rooster fight in person. And I knowed immedjiately dat dem Aggies was involved when a Duck was entered in the fight."

The Commander nodded, "I'll buy that. But what about the others?"

Boudreaux nodded knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when sum_body bet on de duck!"

"Ah, I see, I see....." sighed the sergeant, "And how did you figure the Mafia was involved?"

"De duck won."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
BornaTiger Founding Father

BornaTiger 0

Posted
Posted

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And, your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if it makes sense.' So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny..He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.' The father says, 'Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.' The little boy replies, 'The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class, while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored, and the Future is in deep doo-doo.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing


×
×
  • Create New...