Please help me understand: Coming out

[AU9377 4,979]

56 minutes ago, I_M4_AU said:

Now it seems that coming out, especially in high school, is trending.  You will still have people that can not be true to themselves because of the perceived fear of disappointing either parents or clergy.  That’s life, it doesn’t necessarily mean the parents are preaching to the kids of the joys of marriage, it’s a life they have grown up with and anything different, the kids would believe the parents would be distraught.  It may or may not be the case.

To the second sentence; these are personal choices and change with circumstances and age.  It is personal and that is on the person that decides to make sacrifices for, what they perceive, are the greater good.  Sacrificing is what a lot of people do for what they feel is right even though is may put a strain on them.

I have a good friend that told me that he would never come out to his parents.  He is 35 or 36.  He isn't scared of them or of losing them.  He told me that he feels that it would be selfish for him to force them to deal with something that neither they nor he really fully understands.  I know his parents.  They are wonderful people and I have no doubt that they would get past it fairly quickly.  They likely already know and have known for years, but if it works for them like it is, I see no harm in them not discussing it.  At the end of the day, different things work for different people/

Edited October 22, 2021 by AU9377

[Mims44 1,879]

On 10/17/2021 at 11:24 PM, PUB78 said:

That took courage on your part to say this.

 ^ This post is truly heroic.

[Mims44 1,879]

5 hours ago, I_M4_AU said:

Now it seems that coming out, especially in high school, is trending.  You will still have people that can not be true to themselves because of the perceived fear of disappointing either parents or clergy.  That’s life, it doesn’t necessarily mean the parents are preaching to the kids of the joys of marriage, it’s a life they have grown up with and anything different, the kids would believe the parents would be distraught.  It may or may not be the case.

To the second sentence; these are personal choices and change with circumstances and age.  It is personal and that is on the person that decides to make sacrifices for, what they perceive, are the greater good.  Sacrificing is what a lot of people do for what they feel is right even though is may put a strain on them.

trending in a huge way. Around 1/3rd of my daughters class is lgbtq+. Mostly trans...

 

Like, not really trans from what I can tell and how they explain it to me, but it's trendy to be trans. So there are a lot of girls who identify as a male, but a 'feminine gay' male... so they were born a girl, dress and act like girls, but pick a new ambiguous name like Jessi to go by.

Caused a few problems for my daughters as they just don't care enough about social status to put in effort, and were getting picked on for being 'cis'. And the majority of it came from the same group of friends they have had since kindergarten. Really crap situation all around.

 

On 10/16/2021 at 11:20 PM, Grumps said:

I have an acquaintance who is also a friend on Facebook. He is a really great guy. He has an awesome and beautiful wife and several kids. He recently posted a video where he "came out" as gay. His now ex-wife is apparently supportive of his decision and they plan to both be active in raising their children.

I don't consider myself to be homophobic. I believe that our Constitution guarantees equal protection under the law and that same-sex couples should have the same legal rights as opposite-sex couples. I pretty much always think it is sad when a couple gets divorced, especially if they have children. Despite it being sad, I think that a person should be able to get divorced if they choose, for whatever reason they choose.

I really hate that this seemingly wonderful family is now going through such drastic changes. No matter what, this situation will be very hard for each of them.

What I would love help understanding is the reactions of people on Facebook. Everyone is talking about how brave, or how courageous the guy is. I really don't understand what is courageous about leaving your wife and drastically changing the lives of your children. If they guy came home and told his wife that he realized, after more than a dozen years of marriage, that he decided he was still in love with his high school sweetheart and that he wanted a divorce to go and have a life with his sweetheart then wouldn't everyone think that the guy is an a**hole? Why do people think it is brave to divorce your wife to seek male companionship and horrible to divorce your wife to seek female companionship?

Is there really a difference? Is it just really good marketing by the LGBTQ+ community? I sincerely would like to understand the reactions of all of the people who think the guy was being courageous with his decisions.

Thanks for your help!

lgbtq+ community is big on using those terms, but it's actually bled over into damn near everything these days. Think of all the analysts describing Obamas family around '08, people go out of their way to gush over something unimportant lest they be deemed a racist, same way with lgbtq, there's pressure to use a lot of positive flowery language lest you be seen as trans/homophobic.

This might just be me, but I'm always wary of the ones that go out of their way to heap tons of praise like that, they usually want something from you in one form or another.

 

 

 

 

....well, I'm off to order myself a trophy for posting this.  

[alexava 6,973]

I have no problem whatsoever with people being who they are. Gay , tranny( even though I don’t understand it) be you and be happy. I have a problem with marriage and procreation, THEN “ coming out” as something else. You have more than just your parents and siblings not accepting you to worry about. You just altered the paths of several people’s lives. Many are small kids who are innocent to the world. So no I don’t consider it courageous. I consider him weak for not figuring himself out before he altered her life and brought kids in the world. But I do wish them all the best. It doesn’t have to be a bad situation. But if it is a bad situation, it’s on him for screwing it all up. 

[AUDub 11,158]

On 10/22/2021 at 4:18 PM, Mims44 said:

 ^ This post is truly heroic.

I mean, the word hero gets thrown around a lot, but sometimes it just fits. 

[AUDub 11,158]

On 10/22/2021 at 4:43 PM, Mims44 said:

trending in a huge way. Around 1/3rd of my daughters class is lgbtq+. Mostly trans...

You too, huh? 

Trying to hold a conversation with my daughter is a grammatical nightmare.

Dub: "What's going on with Sam? Haven't seen her in a while." 

Ava: "Finn."

Dub: "Huh?"

Ava: "Sam is Finn now."

Dub: "Sam changed her name?" 

Ava: "'Their' name."

Dub: "So Sam is now a boy?"

Ava: "Finn. And they're a boy, yeah."

Dub: "But Sam is already a name that works for men or women. Why would she-"

Ava: "They!"

Dub: "Who are they?"

Ava: "Finn."

Dub: "Why would he-"

Ava: "THEY!"

Dub: ""

...

Dub: "Forget I asked."

[DKW 86 7,431]

Dude, I got no words....

 

[The Freak 2,528]

My favorite are the demon pronouns... I thought about adding them to my email signature, but my company would not find it funny.

[AUDub 11,158]

23 minutes ago, The Freak said:

My favorite are the demon pronouns... I thought about adding them to my email signature, but my company would not find it funny.

I Googled this and I'm on team DERF now. 

[AUDub 11,158]

7 minutes ago, AUDub said:

...I'm on team DERF now. 

Side effects include this playing in your head anytime you hear someone refer to oneself as "demonself"

 

[AUDub 11,158]

1 hour ago, DKW 86 said:

Dude, I got no words....

Teenagers have always been cringey as hell.

[ShocksMyBrain 9,368]

3 hours ago, The Freak said:

My favorite are the demon pronouns... I thought about adding them to my email signature, but my company would not find it funny.

TikTok is lousy with it, as well as people pretending to have mental disorders—which is abhorrent. People faking Tourette’s and having multiple personalities is straight up insulting and offensive to people who really have those mental issues. 
 

For the record, I’m not on TikTok, I refuse. But I do follow various subreddits calling out these people. 

[AUDub 11,158]

Some circles of Tik Tok are just weirdness distilled to its purest form. My kids are on it. Just comes off as stupidly cringey to me. 

[ShocksMyBrain 9,368]

5 minutes ago, AUDub said:

Some circles of Tik Tok are just weirdness distilled to its purest form. My kids are on it. Just comes off as stupidly cringey to me. 

I’m a glutton for cringe, which is I follow r/cringetopia. 90% of the posts are TikTok videos.