Down bad

[Zeek 16,659]

Hey guys. Just venting here in the random board. Feeling incredibly down lately and that's made me feel like I'm being overly pessimistic and negative about things I usually love so I just haven't been posting too much. Don't want to come on here and be ugly about something in recruiting when in reality I would just be taking my frustrations out on an unrelated issue. Also just haven't had the energy to go to the football board where there seems to be the same five arguments that just get me heated unnecessarily.

Anyways, it's really compounding factors. I miss my mom. I can't find childcare to save my life and even once we find it I'm appalled by how much it costs. Wrestling is going okay in the sense that I've gotten our numbers up tremendously but man we're a bad team; obviously it's my job to get them good but athletically speaking I'm working with apples in a lemonade contest. These kids are insanely soft and weak. Not sure how kids get to high school and are incapable of doing 10 push-ups in a row or a cartwheel. I get a lot of kids who tell me it's their first time ever playing a sport... wrestling is a very hard place to start.

Finances have been frustrating. Rising costs have taken us from saving more and more money every month to watching our stockpile dwindle. Other than going out to eat less we've really cut back all the spending we can. Money is such a frustrating thing and I miss when we were at a point where I didn't even think about it. 

My dad moved on from my mother's passing incredibly quick and already has a new woman living with him. That has really hurt and now I can't spend any time with him without her being there as well. She is nice enough but at this stage in my life I have zero interest in spending time with some random ass woman my dad happened to like. It's made it hard for our family to get together which means I see my brother and niece way less as well.

Just feels like I need to recharge my batteries but I've lost the charger.

[augolf1716 21,250]

Don't want to sound like I'm preaching but life is valleys and peaks just try your best to fight thru the valleys. Positive thinking is often over used but it does work  and helps to fight thru those valleys. You may want to talk to someone about your feeling outside the family like a counselor.  

Anyway you can always post here to let off some steam/frustrations anytime. Wish there was more I could say or do to make it better. Prayer always help me

[fredst 9,064]

14 hours ago, Zeek said:

My dad moved on from my mother's passing incredibly quick and already has a new woman living with him. That has really hurt and now I can't spend any time with him without her being there as well.

Quoting this but relating to the general post. I went through this with my Dad after my Mom passed away- he latched on to a couple of women and eventually remarried. It was hard to swallow at first but eventually I realized that he was just lonely and wanted companionship from someone his age that me and my family couldn’t provide. It hurt at first but then I realized that he was truly happy; his wife made his life so much more enjoyable and when he got ill I realized what a blessing she was. As it turns out, we still have her over and enjoy her company now 18 months after his passing. Just commiserating and letting you know that I kind of understand how that situation feels. I hope it improves for you but I know that it’s hard.

The other stuff…. Yeah, life is just hard sometimes. The past 18 months or so have been tough for me personally more than I have been willing to admit at times. The pandemic has weighed on everyone in different ways I know. My best friend of 30+ years took his own life about three months ago; I have had a hard time coming to grips with that and my failure as a friend.

All of this is to say, you have people that you can vent to and lean on here, even if you wouldn’t know us if you saw us. As wise Golf has said, regular prayer and scripture reading with quiet reflection has helped me. As hokey as it may seem, journaling is really cathartic as well; something about the thought and effort of putting something on paper can really relieve those burdens sometimes. 

Stay strong,try to remember that your family loves you, and you are touching and molding young lives with your coaching more than you realize. WDE.

[abw0004 10,125]

I really can't speak too much on this but I will certainly try.

If you ever have any questions regarding finances, please feel free to reach out to me.  I am a CFP (Certified Financial Planner) and an AIF (Accredited Investment Fiduciary).  There will always be people who are better off financially than you, and there will always be those much worse off than you.

Regarding your father, he may simply be lonely.  My father experienced this with his mother (my grandmother).  She remarried three times, usually after the previous one died.  When asked, she just said she was lonely and wanted some company.  That doesn't mean he missed your mother any less.  It is kind of like people when they lose a pet, such as a dog.  You will see them get a new puppy of the exact same breed within a month.  It is the same principle.  Obviously I do not know your family, but that is my guess.

If you ever need someone to talk to, just shoot me a PM and I will send you my cell phone.

[McLoofus 35,182]

Zeek, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you're dealing with all of these issues at once. That feeling of being overwhelmed- of not being able to find a happy place in your head- is a scary one. But you did well to vent here, and you've gotten some great advice. I think you're going to be okay. Hang in there. 

 

[aubiefifty 16,846]

On 11/4/2021 at 8:14 AM, Zeek said:

Hey guys. Just venting here in the random board. Feeling incredibly down lately and that's made me feel like I'm being overly pessimistic and negative about things I usually love so I just haven't been posting too much. Don't want to come on here and be ugly about something in recruiting when in reality I would just be taking my frustrations out on an unrelated issue. Also just haven't had the energy to go to the football board where there seems to be the same five arguments that just get me heated unnecessarily.

Anyways, it's really compounding factors. I miss my mom. I can't find childcare to save my life and even once we find it I'm appalled by how much it costs. Wrestling is going okay in the sense that I've gotten our numbers up tremendously but man we're a bad team; obviously it's my job to get them good but athletically speaking I'm working with apples in a lemonade contest. These kids are insanely soft and weak. Not sure how kids get to high school and are incapable of doing 10 push-ups in a row or a cartwheel. I get a lot of kids who tell me it's their first time ever playing a sport... wrestling is a very hard place to start.

Finances have been frustrating. Rising costs have taken us from saving more and more money every month to watching our stockpile dwindle. Other than going out to eat less we've really cut back all the spending we can. Money is such a frustrating thing and I miss when we were at a point where I didn't even think about it. 

My dad moved on from my mother's passing incredibly quick and already has a new woman living with him. That has really hurt and now I can't spend any time with him without her being there as well. She is nice enough but at this stage in my life I have zero interest in spending time with some random ass woman my dad happened to like. It's made it hard for our family to get together which means I see my brother and niece way less as well.

Just feels like I need to recharge my batteries but I've lost the charger.

i wish you peace zeek. the secret is understanding much of life is that most of us hurt over different things. it is not fun but it is life. there will be moments of beauty and you have to hang on to those moments with both hands. enjoy your little victories. look at the hope and toughness you are teaching those kids. of course you miss your mother and that is a huge testament to how wonderful she was and she earned your love. your father is doing nothing to betray your mother. life is short and you have to grab it and wring out what you can of it. i am betting your father gets lonely and i can tell you that is a hell of a way to live. celebrate your dad had the courage to move on and not just give up because your mom passed. loneliness is bad and late at night when the world is snoozing it can get really ugly. you are here for a reason zeek. you are well liked on the board by most because we all have those posters that do not like us. hell i can cough and piss people off. take a deep breath. look around and take stock of all the good in your life. think of all the kids you are helping. your dads new lady will never be your mother and she knows that but i bet she could turn into a valuable friend if you give her a chance. she is bringing joy to you father and this is something you should celebrate. it in no way means you are dishonoring your mother. now i might be the dumbest dude on this site but i can tell you stress and anger are not your friend. they can drag you down and change you for the worst. i know it sounds cheap but this will pass zeek. go see your dad and give him the biggest hug ya got and tell him how much you love him. there is a lot of negativity in this world right now and it worries most folks with half a brain. you just need a minute or two to recharge. all things will pass but sometimes it is not on the time table you might hope for. vent all you need to as far as i am concerned. you have busted your ass to make this board a better one and many have noticed. we love your passion for auburn. just take a deep breath. do something with your family you all love. and if your struggles continue rest assure there is help out there if you need it. it is not a sign of weakness but one of strength to be the man your family knows and loves. i think you are that tough guy coach dye speaks of when he talks about troubles. i really hope this helps because my heart is true in this in case i do not state myself well. god bless you my auburn friend. i hope this will pass quickly and long may you run. if you need to talk message me and i can give you my phone number. or we can just private chat in message. but i care and i am not afraid to say so.

[aubiefifty 16,846]

2 hours ago, abw0004 said:

I really can't speak too much on this but I will certainly try.

If you ever have any questions regarding finances, please feel free to reach out to me.  I am a CFP (Certified Financial Planner) and an AIF (Accredited Investment Fiduciary).  There will always be people who are better off financially than you, and there will always be those much worse off than you.

Regarding your father, he may simply be lonely.  My father experienced this with his mother (my grandmother).  She remarried three times, usually after the previous one died.  When asked, she just said she was lonely and wanted some company.  That doesn't mean he missed your mother any less.  It is kind of like people when they lose a pet, such as a dog.  You will see them get a new puppy of the exact same breed within a month.  It is the same principle.  Obviously I do not know your family, but that is my guess.

If you ever need someone to talk to, just shoot me a PM and I will send you my cell phone.

you rock!

[I_M4_AU 7,907]

Coming from the other side here Zeek as I have been married to the same woman for 47 years.  I’m not sure how I would react if she suddenly passed or, heaven forbid, finally got fed up with me, but the loss of a companion would shock me.

Trying to anticipate how my three boys would react if I found a new woman in my life I’m sure they would react similar, however, I would hope they would understand and wish me well.  I also would hope they would still come around to keep me straight.  I say this because with a new person in my life, coupled with my age, I could make some really interesting decisions.  If they were not a part of my life, they may not be able to guide me through a difficult time, even though I may feel everything is fine.  I had to do this with my Mom when my Dad passed.  Life is interesting in that a parent is alway a parent no matter how old their children are, but it is difficult, as a child, to parent your parents.  It is a skill if done right or can be disastrous for the family.

A couple of red flags you may be looking for; I have told my kids if I entertain the idea of ever getting married again, shoot me.  Not that I couldn’t fall deeply in love, but it could devastate any inherence they may have (if I don’t spend it all).  I know this sounds *greedy*, but one reason people get together at that age is to be more financially stable.  Just something to look out for.

Another might be unusual investments that he may find on the internet or from a close friend.  I have alway want to own a ranch, my god, I know nothing about a ranch, so my kids will have to tell me *what the he!! Are you thinking* at times.

Bottom line; be close to your dad and be his advisor (parent) if he needs you.

[SaltyTiger 7,835]

On 11/4/2021 at 8:14 AM, Zeek said:

Just feels like I need to recharge my batteries but I've lost the charger.

Look at the upside Zeek. You obviously have a close family to care for.

Not venting or complaining with personal health problems and have the opportunity to teach and coach young people.

My opinion but we have all wasted way to much time being “frustrated” or worried about finances. Be present and live a day at time. You will be fine.
 

 

[cbo 7,886]

Sorry to hear this, Zeek. I know we have disagreed on stupid things in the past, but I am hoping for the very best for you, which I bet is somewhere on the horizon. You are smart to reach out and share in this venue and any other that you want. It can help.

I don't have any answers but there is some good advice on here. Only thing I will add is that therapy and medication can help if it gets to that point. Just worth keeping in mind. 

[LKEEL75 2,566]

@Zeek I think everyone on here can understand tough times.  I am sorry that it feels like every facet of your life is struggling right now.  The good news is (as bad as you don't want to hear it): This too shall pass.  My daughter was struggling with the same thing in terms of day care.  So much that she determined it cheaper to quit her job and become a single income family than pay for childcare.  

Will keep you in my thoughts and hoping for the best for you and your family!