Texts From Lastnight

[WarEagle196 0]

(954): I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues

[WarEagle196 0]

(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog

[Wegle 0]

(443): i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober

[AuburnEngineer 0]

(443): i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober

So true so true

[warfalcon23 0]

(323):

Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.

Some guys just can't lose !!!

[warfalcon23 0]

(256):

We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.

Who was the other "Dude" ............. ????????? :laugh:

[warfalcon23 0]

(334):

I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

Bird ....... Isn't that your neighborhood ???

[warfalcon23 0]

(334):

Dude if it is possible to orgasm from s***ting i think it just happened.

Definitely a TURD !!!

[Turtle_Tiger 13]

This is one of mine from a late night in Savannah. Not on text from last night, but we are all still in search of the smile machine.

(799) Where ubat?

(332) Standing in line at the smile machine

(332) Smoke

[AU lb's are beasts 2]

(650):

some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!

bwahahaha maybe the best random website ever

[STLEAGLE 0]

FUNNIEST THING EVER!

(650):

some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!

bwahahaha maybe the best random website ever

:laugh:

[AUFightingSoldiers 685]

You think this is random? Have you ever gone to mylifeisaverage.com?

[aubman1 0]

(319):

I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.

[AUUSN 823]

This has to be from a bammer:

The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.

[Richard78 73]

(717):/

thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.

[bigbird 60,565]

(915):

I told you I was good to drive

          (1-915):

          dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

[bigbird 60,565]

(508):

awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

(1-508):

you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

[PokerJokerAU 0]

This is one of mine from a late night in Savannah. Not on text from last night, but we are all still in search of the smile machine.

(799) Where ubat?

(332) Standing in line at the smile machine

(332) Smoke

Being stationed in Beaufort, SC I frequent Savannah, GA as it is about 45 minutes away....I can assure you the "Smile Machine" is the slushie machine at Wet Willies that contains the infamous "Call A Cab". Mystery Solved.