Texts From Lastnight

[AUSportTalk 4]

Does anyone LOVE this website as much as I do?

CHECK IT OUT!!

[AUSportTalk 4]

(213): are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town

(1-213): well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT

[AUSportTalk 4]

(831): I puked off the balcony.

(1-831): Not horrible

(831): Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.

[Jackson-Sullivan 0]

Funny stuff!

[AUSportTalk 4]

(310): i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.

[AUSportTalk 4]

(480): They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."

[Jackson-Sullivan 0]

(310): i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.

Bwahahaha!  Man, that is funny!  I don't care whon you are.

[AUSportTalk 4]

(703): I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.

[WarEagle196 0]

413): I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate....

[WarEagle196 0]

(337): you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm

[AUSportTalk 4]

(337): you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm

HAHAHAHA!!

[bigbird 60,566]

(810): I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.

What else were post its used for in college?

[AUSportTalk 4]

(614): I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?

[AUSportTalk 4]

(303): She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now

[AUSportTalk 4]

(818): Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?

[WarEagle196 0]

(818): Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?

LMFAO

[bigbird 60,566]

(610): I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain. 

OK, which of you was it?

[bigbird 60,566]

(818): hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win

Once again I ask, Which of you was it?

[bigbird 60,566]

(203): New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah

rbwareagle34, is that you?

[bigbird 60,566]

(484): He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark

Good times!

[bigbird 60,566]

(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

OK, Who else has accidentally tripped on Ambien besides me?

[AUSportTalk 4]

(610): I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain. 

OK, which of you was it?

Needless to say, that might be me during the Alabama game. HAHA

[AUSportTalk 4]

(202): i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night

[WarEagle196 0]

(321): you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..

[WarEagle196 0]

(410): i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.